Opinions on marital duties

(52 Posts)
GusFringsGString Mon 30-Sep-13 12:51:52

Hi,
This is a really tricky question to ask with coming across as a real twat. Anyway I was just interested in seeing the general opinions on marital duties in the bedroom. I 've been conditioned into believing (not sure on this one) believe that no partner should accept the idea of marital duties as sexual contact should always be between two fully consenting adults.
Any thoughts appreciated, happy to take abuse if appropriate.

78bunion Thu 10-Oct-13 19:28:23

I think not having sex for a month probably won't help. If you keep having it even if your wife is not that keen that is better because it keeps it going and you don't move into a phase of no sex ever which so many couples get into. Also once you get started she might get more into it.

Nor do I think you can leave it to her to initiate it when she wants it as she probably wants to feel attractive and your initiating it surely helps with that.

May be there are sexual things she wants to try and could talk about that or perhaps she's just so exhausted because of small children you just have to keep having some sex even if it's only once a week to keep it going and then it will improve once she is less tired and the children are a bit older.

AgathaF Thu 10-Oct-13 20:00:05

I agree with 78 re the not having sex. Although perhaps you could do no sex for a month, but commit to no strings attached massage once a week? Make it a comfortable, relaxing time, rather than a prelude to something else.

I don't think telling her to initiate all the time is good either. Too much pressure on her.

I know you're between a rock and a hard place (scuse the pun) but maybe concentrating on maintaining some couple time in your relationship whilst the DC are young is the best thing. Keeping the building blocks in place for when the DC are older and things get a little bit more back to 'normal'.

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