Do you go into the FWR ? And what's your general impression as a man ?

(124 Posts)
MrGin Thu 12-Jul-12 14:11:24

Just that really. I have a young daughter so I'm interested in some women's issues, I find you can't generally post in there without getting accused of one thing of the other.

< prepares for glacial responses possibly followed by mass invasion >

BelleDameSansMerci Mon 06-Aug-12 14:31:48

Very wise, Pan... wink

ThePan Mon 06-Aug-12 14:33:59

thank you Belley.wink

MrGin Mon 06-Aug-12 14:35:06

:0 @ Pan.

< gaffa tapes fingers to desk >

MrGin Mon 06-Aug-12 14:35:32

grin @ Pan even

BelleDameSansMerci Mon 06-Aug-12 14:38:55

grin

I have to gaffa tape (who knew that's how it was spelt?) my fingers when women on here explain why they're not feminists. Well, I have to refrain from typing in capital letters and being very rude about their mental capacities. Which is probably anti-something and bad of me.

MNsFavouriteManHater Mon 06-Aug-12 18:15:45

it's gaffer

hth

tethersphotofinish Mon 06-Aug-12 18:58:58

BoomTish!

MNsFavouriteManHater Mon 06-Aug-12 19:00:09

< twirls drumstick around head >

MrGin Mon 06-Aug-12 19:20:40

it's gaffer

hth

I think you'll find both are correct , but thanks for the pointless post.

BoonTish

MNsFavouriteManHater Mon 06-Aug-12 19:38:46

You are welcome.

MNsFavouriteManHater Mon 06-Aug-12 19:39:32

You need all the traffic you can get on Dadsnet, don't knock it smile

ThePan Mon 06-Aug-12 19:51:09

We have standards. As low as they are.grin

MNsFavouriteManHater Mon 06-Aug-12 19:54:44

grin

Point taken, Mr Gin. But I understood your OP to mean that you were looking resources to help your DD with women's issues. And I, perhaps mistakenly, though that as a woman I could help point you in the right direction.

Not sure why dads need tucking away in a corner of MN though, I wish more men posted all over the place.

tethersphotofinish Mon 06-Aug-12 20:09:39

Indeed. In fact, your low standards are your most attractive feature, Pan. grin

ThePan Mon 06-Aug-12 20:19:06

<bows. farts.>

yellowraincoat Mon 06-Aug-12 20:30:36

Men are always going to have a hard time when they go on FWR and argue against what a feminist says. When I'm told that my experience hasn't really happened by someone who can never really know because they aren't a woman, then I'm probably not going to really enjoy a polite intellectual discussion with them.

I gave up attempting to reason with that argument a long time ago.

All for having men on FWR, but I really wish that more would realise that by the very fact of their not being a woman means they are never going to get feminism like the women on there and they should, therefore, think really carefully about what they're posting and not just go "but men have pressure on them toooooo" 20000 times.

MrGin Mon 06-Aug-12 23:03:51

MsNanHater

I like the cut of your jib me lady smile

Pan. Stop with the flatulance grin

Yellowcoat. It's not an issue of turning up and arguing against feminism, the issue is mearly about turning up on the FWR boards as a man. I've never turned up and told anyone their experience is invalid. I don't doubt you've experienced it , but it wasn't me !

And this comes to the root of, my at least , experience. You turn up on FWR and are instantly covered in everyones bad experience with shitty men.

One is judged and pidgenholed based on the mistermeaners of idiots who share my gender. And it makes me wonder about the mechanisms of descrimination and generalizations. Which is good of course.

I find MN in general to be quite sexist, with a fair degree of objectification and , again, it makes me wonder about how much group dynamics comes into play.

I'm sure there are short term male trolls who goad fwr, but I think any man who plays an active part in parenting and MN is unlikely to be such, yet as your post paints we have to start from a stance of defence.

It's almost like if you declare your a man you have to spend eons answering the crimes of others which are of course endless.

As for my daughter ( I always hoped for a dd over a boy fwiw ) my struggle with her obsession with pink and princesses who are being rescued by princess is with , in the softest way, with her mother who encourages it. I look to and put into action things I read in FWR. It has educated me.

I just wish I too could feel comfortable  posting in topics ( on the only web forum I use )  about being my experience of being sexually assulted by men, or my concerns about my daughter, or my views on PIV sex , or cmy views about make up on children, or my...... it does go on , I think it's sad things are seen in such divided terms. That a man can't share any of these experiences, doesn't have anything valid to contribute by virtue of gender. Good and bad. 

yellowraincoat Mon 06-Aug-12 23:07:32

MrGin the thing is though there may be objectification of men (I very rarely see it, I have to say) but it is not the same as when women are objectified, because women do not have power in the same way as men.

MNsFavouriteManHater Mon 06-Aug-12 23:15:06

MrG, perhaps you could start a group for men to talk about feminist issues, and how they affect men ?

Would that work ?

BoneyBackJefferson Tue 07-Aug-12 13:56:59

You can usually tell who the trolls are because they go away.

Unfortunately there have also been non-troll posters who have been chased off the boards by bloody minded posters who have decided that they are trolls.

But IME this happens on all forums not just this one.

LurkingAndLearningLovesCats Tue 07-Aug-12 14:10:46

On the same token, some feminists have been run off too (not by anyone of this thread that I'm aware of, thinking of Dittany)

I think it's sad when we can't all have friendly debates. Heated, but friendly. Of course there are posters I don't like, and I'm sure there are posters who don't like me; just like in real life. I think it's a shame that -not just in FWR- some people can get so personal.

Pointless addition to the thread, probably too lovey dovey with all the 'let's all get along' stuff lol.

Now let's forget our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice-cream! --Stupid Simpsons feminist joke- blush

ThePan Tue 07-Aug-12 14:20:05

You can not be serious, Lurking. You are suggesting that dittany was 'run off' the FWR boards? I recall it that she was shown to be deeply and personally manipulative and dishonest, as well as using bullying tactics off the site when other feminists disagreed with her. After those revelations she had nowhere to go. In the interests of balance, she was also fairly dishonest and unpleasant toward anyone who disagreed with her on the site as well, male or female.

LurkingAndLearningLovesCats Tue 07-Aug-12 14:39:27

There was some sort of Facebook business that came onto the forums, so IMO whether people agreed with her or not she was seriously attacked for personal reasons not relevant to FWR. She had very strong opinions, not all I agreed with but from what I saw, she was ganged up on.

I haven't been on the forums for very long so I don't know history between posters etc so I can only comment on what I saw, but I do believe just because one poster can be seen as a bully, doesn't give others the right to gang up IYSWIM? Two wrongs don't make a right and all that jazz.

Dittany was just an innocent example, I genuinely didn't mean to raise anyone's hackles. Hell, I have no idea why she left. Perhaps I should have used somebody else, I wasn't meaning to piss anyone off.

ThePan Tue 07-Aug-12 14:55:38

She wasn't 'ganged up' upon either. But it's a bit redundant/useless picking the bones over it. Am sure lots of that sort of stuff has been done already.

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