Mumsnet Talk

Put on your vest/shades and grab your weapons, it's Action Hero Time.

The BESH are experts in all matters action, but specialise in taking out the local droids and sometimes Druids

<stands back to the wall near open doorway, gun in hand>

Cover me, I'm going in!

<leaps through door action hero-stylee>

<lands in a heap>

<puts on sunglasses>

<walks away from burning wreckage of previous thread>

<cue theme music>

I think I should turn off this painfully dull German arts film and put something a bit more invigorating on instead...

Tatatatatataaaaah! Tatatatatataah! <flings open door and rolls under table>
<unpins hand grenade and throws through window>

Do we get to swear a lot?

<pulls on yellow leather suit>

Nice Fred Frank.

<Rolls in under closing door of last thread>
<grabs hat just in time>

<swings across falling statue using whip with a Whaparrrrrr noise>

Fuck yeah, we get to swear a lot.

<blows across the barrel of a smoking gun>

TEAM AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!

Team BESH?

Muthafuckin' yeah!

I am a very tired action hero tonight

Fuck, yeah, whatever....

<lowers self from ceiling by wire harness>

<helps self to mug of gin>

<returns to BESH lair rafters>

Team BESH. Luffs it.

<Slings gun casually over shoulder and struts around>

<Zooms in driving a silver Astin Martin with a bazooka on the roof>

Team BESH Fuck Yeah

<wipes bead of sweat from brow>

Er.... Facebook adverts.

Gone are the baby clothes and post pregnancy weight loss.

I've got 3 separate adverts for ivf. One in Norway. Wtf! I am aware of nothing on my facebook that would indicate I'm in the market for ivf.

. And [a bit worried]

<finishes chin ups>
<breaks out of asylum>
<steals cop car, comes squealing round the corner having stopped in Mexico to pick up stashed weapons>

Sinky I think it might have something to do with FB eating your cookies?

<drives out to take out Evil Cookies>

Fuck yeah

Anyone watching the History??? I love History, me.

Anyone reading the Mooncup thread? Apparently we should bung one up there after SWI. Keeps all the spermz close to the cervix. Worth a shot after three years I'll give anything a go

I only use my mooncup after SWI when droid is still present, but seeing as I have fortnight-long droids it seems reasonable! Wearing it more than that would do my head in, I think.

I doubt it works, anyway. All the jizz goes into the cup, but the cervix does not, so how would it help? It is handy for leak prevention, though

The leakage has always bothered me somewhat. You know that first pee after SWI? And it all falls into the loo?

Doesn't matter apparently. The good sperms shoot up your cervix like Bruce Willis up a lift shaft, and they're the only ones with a chance of getting to the ovary. Zita West says so.

I am not watching History, as I only got in about half an hour ago. I went swimming after work so I needed to wash my hair and eat everything in sight

MrA had 130 million spermz at the last count, which I'm told is quite something. Unfortunately only 3% are swimming properly.

Exactly, Twinks, so the mooncup is only going to hold the crappy sperm in the wrong place anyway. I wonder if the man's jizz force ejaculatory velocity has any impact on likelihood of diffage?

130 million?! Fuck Yeah!
<fires off several rounds pointlessly into the air>
BE should get his SA results tomorrow. I'm feeling quite nervous more confident than Clint Eastwood faced with a punk on his lucky day.