The End is Nigh! Batten down the hatches in the BESH Bunker

(1000 Posts)
FrankelDeBeauvoir Sat 24-Nov-12 10:15:34

A wordy fred title I know, but it's too early to think of something snappier!

Get ready for the end of the world: grab your OFRS, your emergency gin supply and join us shrivelled harridans in the BESH Bunker.

Admittance is only permitted on production of a successfully completed BESHtionnaire (hint, check out previous BESH threads)

<slips out of slinky Bond Girl evening gown & dons camouflage gear, complete with scary SAS-looking face paint>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 10:31:17

<scuttles in avoiding mortar shells>

Where do I put the booze? We may as well go out on a high.

MissSlapAndTipple Sat 24-Nov-12 10:40:13

Booze! Gin! Is it too early for mulled wine (in the year - not in the day)? MATV always says he knows what to do in a zombie apocolypse. He said he might even look after me <swoon> I'm such a lucky girl confused.

So - window cleaners have appeared next door and seem to be doing a much better job than the creepy pervert who did my windows a few weeks back. I didn't realise how bad they were until he'd gone but he really did do a pathetic job. He said he'd be back in January so he'll be getting a big fat no when he asks to do them again.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 10:46:54

I don't need my windows cleaned. Because it NEVER FUCKING STOPS CUNTING RAINING <yells>

I am one of those poor childless women sitting in front of Made in Chelsea on a Saturday morning, still in my dressing gown, listening to the rain. Pitter patter, pitter patter.

A good apocalypse would cheer me up no end.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 24-Nov-12 11:01:14

<dons hard hat and combats>

Morning all. We have a window cleaner. MSB resents it in We live in a bungalow, we could do it ourselves way. Except he didn't, ever. We'd been here 3 years when I hired the window cleaner. In that time is done them several times despite being too short to really reach. He took over, once. hmm

bluer Sat 24-Nov-12 11:11:18

<runs in sporting a fetching flak vest and all-In-one camouflage number>

Oh we live in a bungalow and mr. df objects to the window cleaner...who costs a whopping £5.50...on the grounds that we could do them ourselves. We? Read me...so I pays it!

MissSlapAndTipple Sat 24-Nov-12 11:13:57

jesus christ, I'm also in pjs still at the moment and have just been through the bills. Now, we have quite a bit of expenditure because we are paying off a loan and some bits on credit cards, that's fine. It's all manageable but we've agreed to get rid of said loan and cards once and for all and are ploughing money into that. However, I just racked up what we spent on food. average over the last three months - £650 a month. That doesn't include going out. Just food we eat at home. That is an insane amount! I know prices are going up but fucking hell. MATV eats like a trouper, crazy amounts because he trains every day so eats everything in sight so nothing goes to waste but shit a brick! No wonder we always have to top up the joint account midway through the month.

Northey Sat 24-Nov-12 11:27:58

<locks and loads> Take it, babydust bitches.

Droid is here! First one since methotrexate, which means that next egg will be free free freeeeee from the bad drug taint. I think this means I am allowed to do the sechs again.

Pouring here as well. Lucky I have a nice big camouflage jacket to snuggle up in. That cocktail dress would have been decidedly nippy.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 11:28:38

Blimey slapper what on earth are you spending all that on?! Do you mean general supermarket shop or just food? Our supermarket spend is about £50 per week since we stopped buying wine sometimes more if there is washing powder involved!

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 11:30:07

Could we not have a centrally heated bunker? A log burner?

Has anyone seen Threads?

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 24-Nov-12 11:31:47

slaps you need to switch to Aldi!

MissSlapAndTipple Sat 24-Nov-12 11:35:15

I know, it's dreadful. that is our everything shop so washing powder/shower gel and and stuff too but even still that's a huge amount. We shop at Tesco. Think I may downgrade to Asda/lidl and maybe see if MATV would accept one or two veggie meals a week. He wont eat pasta or rice or grains though, he's very much a meat and two veg man....and he wont step foot in anywhere less than Tesco so it'll be me shopping from now on.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 24-Nov-12 12:03:21

Honestly, MSB was a bit hmm about Aldi so I went alone. When I came back with some stuff he was all thankful for the 'special' bread I'd treated him to! On a par with Finest stuff but half the price smile the other option is to meal plan and get the shopping delivered. Saves you buying things you don't really need/want and reduces waste. It always works out cheaper for us to pay for delivery over buying things we weren't planning for.

<runs through the streets with ofrs on back, nimbly leaping over piles of rubble>

<reaches bunker, knocks secret "I'm not a zombie" knock>

I literally have no idea what we spend on food. We both work shifts and are badly organised so often just buy sandwiches or whatever at work. Like I will this afternoon.

FriendofDorothy Sat 24-Nov-12 12:58:47

I dream of having a Tescos or an Asda within easy distance that doesn't include a boat trip. We only have Waitrose, M&S or the Co-op here. Not exactly cheap sad

Northey Sat 24-Nov-12 13:04:04

Snap, dor! There is a lidl but it is further away and I always cave and just go to Waitrose instead. I can't think why my food bills are high sad

MissSlapAndTipple Sat 24-Nov-12 14:02:38

mmmmm we aren't great at meal planning. We've just had a huge shop delivered for the first time today, £90. No meat as we have a freezer full of chicken breasts that were given to us. I've approached the 'we need to cut back - maybe pasta one night or veggie meals twice a week' convo. He didn't say no but didn't look impressed. I'm going to check out Aldi tomorrow then if it stops raining smile Just had a mega workout, feel very virtuous now.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 14:12:06

I think that's how we keep our costs down. MrA is a veggie as a result I don't eat much meat at all. We use own brands for everything and neither of us are much interested in food grin

MissSlapAndTipple Sat 24-Nov-12 14:14:17

yeah see I'm not fussed about food, Ill eat anything going and very simple stuff. MATV however just eats constantly and likes healthy/natural stuff which is more expensive.

Shit just got real with the kitties - they are having a full on punch up!

Oh goodness

I just got to work and there has been a massive power cut. Our huge building is scarily quiet with no electric noises and its all dark corridors with low level emergency lighting. It is SPOOKY and feels like the Apocalypse thread was a bit too apt!

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 14:20:42

Watch out for them zombies then, Winkly <cheerful>

Can someone link me the shittens? I have lost it.

EuroShagmore Sat 24-Nov-12 14:41:21

<Runs in waving a really big gun>

slap how on earth do you manage that?!? We usually shop in Waitrose and do not exactly go for the value range and still don't get anywhere near that! We do both buy lunch at work though, so that isn't included.

Rie here you go: Kittie cuteness

FrankelDeBeauvoir Sat 24-Nov-12 14:42:12
ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 14:57:11

Thanks!

<settles down>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 14:58:20

Now the little fuckers are asleep <disappointed>

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