Rainbow Babies. Making it through the storm, missing our Angels, loving and hoping for Rainbows.

(993 Posts)
RainboxFX Thu 11-Oct-12 09:22:12

A shiny new thread in memory of our angels. To bring us all BFPs, sticky beans and healthy happy Rainbows.

Afternoon all, and welcome to the new year, here's wishing for many new bumps and babies this year xx

Well done everyone for staggering through the festive bit. January to the rest of the world seems to mean budgeting and eating healthily and I think I can feel more in tune with them on that than I did about December and it's requisite celebrations. Special hugs to elly for Nancy's special days.

kleine angry you poor love. Bastard AF always knows just when to show up for maximum kick in teeth factor. Big hugs and chocolate to you x

green I seem to recall reading anecdotal stuff (prob on MN!) that underactive thyroids prior to treatment can make pg symptoms like morning sickness worse than they would otherwise be, so you might be lucky and have an easier ride of it this time round. But even if the pukiness is about to rear it's head, 5+2 is a very normal time for it to have not started yet, I thought 6-7 weeks quite normal for sickness to get going as the hcg rises? I won't say don't panic as I know that is futile, but from what you are describing it sounds like everything is going very normally, long may it continue! Are you having an early scan? Something to aim for that's not as huge as 8 months time x

First day home alone with Freya here, DH is back to work for the first time in a while, he's been off since 15th Dec! We are missing him. Will miss him all the more when he goes to India for a fortnight later this month! I'm hoping I will not crack up in his absence. I know people do working away etc routinely but we don't so it'll be a bit of a culture shock. I think the weekend might be a bit lonely, might see if my sister will come and visit.
Had a nice morning pottering around the house and took Freya for a little walk across the park. Accidentally had the cat in tow as he wouldn't stop following, much to her delight grin She doesn't talk yet but does a very fine "miaow". Anyone would think she was being raised by the cats and we never spoke to her blush

coco2303 Wed 02-Jan-13 20:54:12

Hi everyone and happy new year.sorry I haven't named people individually but I am using my phone so difficult to scroll back.

I hope this year is a good one for everyone, those ttc and those already expecting. We won't forget our angels but hopefully this year we all get to give our love to our little bundles.

I hope the festive season wasn't too hard on everyone grieving and I wish everyone the best for 2013 x

notsoold Fri 04-Jan-13 00:43:06

Hi...this is a really rough time...lo would be due on the 7th and everything is a painful reminder. I know that some of you had a tougher time than me but please, please can you tell how to get thorough this?? Dh doesn't remember the date ( he never remembers any dates) that is my forte and I feel mean to remind him when he also suffered with our loss... All I see is the darkness of these days, the fact that we might not conceive again ( being 42) and also it would not be the same lo...and I was only 12 weeks pregnant...then I think about you all and the little angels and my heart bleeds a little more...
Please, please give some light???

notso we have all suffered the loss of a baby it doesn't matter how far along they were. I went through the same as you in December, my DH also didn't know what the date meant but I did let him know how I was feeling. We discussed it all. Have you talked to DH about it?
The lead up to a date is often more upsetting than the date itself.
Be kind to yourself and let yourself grieve.

coco2303 Fri 04-Jan-13 13:14:52

NOTSO I'm sorry to hear about your loss but that is why we are all here. I lost my daughter at 28 weeks and was actually worse coming upto her due date and after than I was after giving birth and the funeral.these dates are very significant, there is no way to say how you get through it and I think most women find it difficult after losing a baby regardless of how far gone they were. My daughter wasn't planned but a lovely suprise and if you had planned your lo and tried hard to concieve then you will feel it. We all grieve and grief is a sign of the love you have. I think men tend to block things out that's why they don't pay attention to dates etc. And if you do get pregnant again no they won't be lo but they will be a beautiful sibling for you to give your love to.I hope that makes sense

RainboxFX Fri 04-Jan-13 14:25:43

Notso there is no hierarchy of grief here. We have all been through a terrible loss, and face tough times. Talk to your DH. You are in this together and you need each others support. It is not a case of you being mean and reminding him. I hope the next few days pass peacefully for you, but we are always here if you need it.

blizy Fri 04-Jan-13 14:46:01

Notso, the other girls said it perfectly. Sending you love and strength. X

Well, after a mammoth 76 days AF has finally arrived! I never, ever thought I would be happy to say that!

Sorry not to name check you all. Have a horrid head ache. Hope you are all well. X

blizy this is the only time (I hope) I shall say this to you, thank god for AF's arrival! Yayyy let's have a AF party! Cake anyone?

RainboxFX Fri 04-Jan-13 18:10:26

Blizy you must be so relieved! I second cake! Champagne or appletizer in a champagne flute all round!

greengoose Fri 04-Jan-13 19:07:13

Yeh Blizy, in a weird kind of way. Let's hope next time Afs being shy its with better reason.... Hope your headache gets better soon.

SPILT, how are you without DH? I'd be a bit green about India. Does he get any time to enjoy being there? Is your sister visiting?

Fan.... Pass us a bit of the cake... How are you just now? Have you got your decorations down yet? Your house sounded lovely over Christmas. ( apart from flu... Are you feeling any better yet)?

I had a consultant Endocrinology appt on Thursday, which was a mixed bag. He agreed to up my meds slightly, but didnt really know about thyroid and pregnancy. Hmmmm. He's getting bloods done every four weeks, and seeing me then, so that's all I can ask really. He referred to Merryn as one of four MCs... I put him right. Silly man. What is it with doctors? (sometimes, not all) My last bloods came back with possitive thyroid antibodies, which is directly linked to MC, doubling the odds, so that possibly explains why I keep MCing, but I'll never know for sure.

notso the due date is a really hard time, especially when it's a fair way after losing your baby as the rest of the world seems to have well and truly moved on/forgotten and it's crushing and so very very lonely. I expected it to hit me hard so booked annual leave from work and just holed up at home, listened to music that meant a lot, went through Bobbie's memory box, and later when DH got home we went to visit her. It mighht all sound a bit maudlin and wallow-y but it was just right for me. Sometimes you need to really make a safe time entirely to grieve/remember and let all those feelings be totally unbottled for a bit. A massive cry is cathartic. Big hugs to you, I hope you find a way to approach the day that helps xx

green I'm not green at all about India, I'm scared of flying! grin From what I gather he'll be in a relatively remote place, big work site and little work run guesthouse so not a great deal of chance to see much of the place sadly. Seems a shame aftr going all that way. He should be off in a couple of weeks, dates not yet confirmed. I'll just be a bit lost, we do sort of live in each other's pockets quite a lot.
So sorry that doc called Merryn a MC angry Good for you putting him straight, they should know. I'm betting he'd just skim read the notes and not looked properly sad Hope you are ok x At least you are getting frequent bloods, and if you find out the actual data & ref ranges each time you can do your own reading and have some input into how it's all managed.

blizy HURRAH and about bloody time for AF!! What a relief to be out of limbo and everything is crossed here that your cycle doesn't go totally awol next time, and is about to behave itself properly. Good luck xx

Hurrah for AF Blizy smile Defintely cake and wine for you tonight. Lets hope your body is used to the meds now and your cycle goes back to normal.

Green glad you set the doctor straight. I had that a few times when I was pg with Holly, they look at you like you're being pedantic!

green I'm ok, I'm starting slimming world again next week, and this week I started an exercise regime so I can feel better about myself like I did before I fell pg with bungle.
Its my birthday this coming wednesday, so DH is giving me money to get my butterfly tattoo for beanbag and bungle. Going to have it on my ankle. Feels like I'm at peace with my babies because I'm having it done.
Flu all gone, had it all over christmas, boo. Had to take the tree down on boxing day as banquo had destroyed it! That darn cat!

Going to Fi's place tomorrow, fx it doesn't rain!

notsoold Fri 04-Jan-13 23:26:15

Hi again!!....thanks for your patience I took your advice and spoke to dh. I shall be taking a leave from work and we shall be going away to the seaside as it our place regarding lo...thanks againxxx

KleinePoppet Sat 05-Jan-13 10:12:08

Hi all. notso I'm so glad you spoke to your DH and that you have plans in place to remember your LO on your due date... It must be so very hard, coming up to the 7th - I will be thinking of you on Monday xxxxx

blizy joining in with your AF party!! Oh lovie, what a rubbish couple of months you've had waiting for it to arrive. I REALLY hope your cycle returns to normal now.

green oh, that doctor. It makes my blood boil. Well done on managing to set him straight without resorting to violence...

fan tattoos sound wonderful - and I'm glad you're feeling some peace. Hope that feeling accompanies you to Fi's place today xx

spilt lots of waves to you. Did you manage to make lots of weekend plans to fill up the time while DH is away?

Really dreadful few days here, for various reasons. I even resorted to eating chocolate...
I'd like to end my post by saying something positive like, 'but we're hopeful next week will be better' - only, we're not! Ah well. Wishing you all a gentle, easy weekend xxx

Oh Kleine anything we can help with? Here or in Fb group? xx

poppet so sorry your having a rough time, this time of year can be very hard, with the dark evenings and so on, things can feel very bleak. Nothing wrong with a bit of chocolate if that's what makes you feel better. Do you have any plans in the pipeline for the next few months, that can sometimes help, something to look forward too.

KleinePoppet Sat 05-Jan-13 15:28:08

You're very sweet wtw - thanks so much for asking thanks. You ladies are lovely. It's just been an interestingly-timed combination of several rubbish things happening at once - and nothing I/we can do about any of them... We are in the process of dusting ourselves off and trying to start the new year all over again! Hate it when DH is so sad though, he just needs a cuddle from his little girl and it's the one thing I definitely can't give him sad

KleinePoppet Sat 05-Jan-13 15:30:16

thanks for fan too! xxxxxx

blizy Sat 05-Jan-13 21:43:03

Kleine, hope you and dh are ok this evening. I agree with fa about having something to look forward to, even if its just a day out with dh.

Hope all you lovely ladies are ok.
X

kleine so sorry you're having a really rough time. It's so hard seeing DHs hurting isn't it, makes you feel so helpless and all you want to do is be able to make it better for them.

fan ahh cats and Christmas trees! A couple of years ago our rather thick cat set fire to himself by leaning into a Christmas candle. Was a bit shock! Bet yours enjoyed trashing it though grin Tattoo sounds beautiful, a really lovely idea.

notso I'm glad you've got a plan for tomorrow. Thinking of you xx

I am feeling lousy - all nauseous and revolting today. I seem to be weirdly sensitive to hormones. I couldn't take the combined pill as it gave me constant nausea and lots of vomiting (tried 3 types). When I came off the minipill in 2010 I had 3 weeks of solid nausea as my cycle got underway again. 2 pregnancies with v nauseous first trimesters and here we go again - my periods have just returned 2 weeks ago, CD11 today and sick as a proverbial what not again - presumably just everything regulating itself. Bastard hormones eh! Hoping it's not a several week thing like my post pill comedown. It's not a bug though, it's the exact same thing as all the other times, the slight disorientation and sense of travel sickness, wibbly feeling insides and only feel ok when actually eating, and it better be stodgy carbs! Feel a little glum and sorry for self. Sorry for the whinge.

Didn't get my tat in the end, I have decided to wait till I have at least a week off work so that it can heal nicely.
Also we are taking a break from ttc this month, I want to get a bit fitter and have already lost 3 pounds. Starting slimming world tomorrow, so fx all this work gets me pg this year!

How is everyone?

poppet how are you doing today?

Babyh200 Mon 07-Jan-13 22:50:51

Evening Ladies

Just checking in to say hello. I'm thinking of you all x

FAN: It was nice to read about your plans and lovely to hear about the butterfly for Beanbag and Bungle, I believe its very important to us to have our babies acknowledged in some way and your idea is wonderful xxx re: slimming world.....good luck for tomorrow. We are planning a trip to the US this year so I started training on boxing
day I really don't want to go away feeling like a beached whale so will be listening to any tips you have......although from what Ive seen you don't look like you need to diet ;)

Split: Poor you so sorry your feeling so lousy......your definately not a whinger at all, I hope you feel better soon so you can take the cat for another walk.......that really put a smile on my face smile xxx

Notso: Your in my thoughts.....keep your chin up brave lady xxx

Green: How are you doing? Wanted to punch that doc you mentioned.....made me fume that did!! Try and rest up a bit once the kids are back in school which I'm guessing is today or tommorrow. Quietly hoping everything is going well with the potential rainbow xxxxx

More to follow back shortly ............

Babyh200 Mon 07-Jan-13 23:26:47

Hello again,

Blizy: So glad you got your AF and hope your cycle will be back to normal this month xxxx

Rainbox: Sending big hugs your way xx

Coco: Hope you and the bump ok x

Kliene: Thinking of you......sometimes life snowballs at us and everything just seems so unfair......hope you are taking time to recupperate after an upsetting start to the new year xxxxx

Angel: Waves to you xxx

Whatever, hope you and the girls ok.

Little + Amy, Elly and Rainbox: Thinking of your growing rainbows xx

Thinking of all are rainbows and angels tonight x

No rainbows coming out of the babyh household at the moment. Six whole months since we held our beautiful boy on the 4th Jan followed by AF on the 5th sad feels like forever since I kissed his little face goodbye....started to feel we wont ever be blessed again x

Night Night xxxxx

RainboxFX Tue 08-Jan-13 10:51:43

Hey all,

sorry not to name check, I know there are a lot of bad times going on at the moment but I could really use some hand holding and good thoughts.

Woke up this morning (9+5) with pain and bleeding. Really frightened. Called the EPU but luckily I had a scan booked for this afternoon anyway so I am just waiting and watching. 4PM feels like a hundred years away.

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