First time home birthers and their support squad

(1000 Posts)
jollyjoanne Sat 21-Mar-09 20:17:48

Not a homebirther personally but wanting to offer support to Boobz and others who are going for a home birth . . .

KellyKettle Fri 23-Sep-11 02:41:34

Ps apologies if the links don't click through, posting from app.

usingapseudonym Fri 23-Sep-11 08:40:54

Thanks Kelly - just taking a look!

jammyscone Fri 23-Sep-11 14:37:47

I was due on Wednesday but nothing yet. Saw midwife yesterday and she told me I'd have to be induced if I went 2 weeks over so I said I didn't think I "had" to be induced, wasn't there an option for just increasing monitoring? To which she replied that there was, I'd just have to see an obstetrician at the hospital. Hoping it doesn't come to that though!

(I got missed off the list when it was updated, just wanted to say I'm still here!) smile

Boobz Sun 25-Sep-11 19:34:41

Have added you back onto the list Jammy - not sure how you fell off it as I see you did try to post yourself onto it!

Any more news from 2blackcats? And reality?

Just over a month for you to go Kelly. I feel like I did with my first baby - back of the pack and waiting for aaaaages for her to finally arrive. The second baby I didn't even know about until 16 weeks so that one flew by. I knew from the moment I was pregnant this time so it's dragging and March seems miles away.

Felt the baby move today though. Which was nice.

How is Humph doing snortpigs? How old is he now?

Updated list:

DUE
minicorrect, due 31 July, DC2
Ohanotherone, due August DC2
LearningFast, due 24 August, DC1
LoveBeingAtHomeOnMyOwn, due 8 September
MissTriangle, due 9 Sept, DC1
RealityVonCrapp , due 19 September, DC3
Jammyscone, due 21 September, DC1
2blackcats, due 22 September, DC2

KateeTheBump, due 16 October, DC1
KellyKettle, due 28 Oct, DC2
GirlWithTheMouseyHair, due 24 November, DC2
Tortoiseonthehalfshell, due 26 November, DC2;
usingapseudonym, due 2 Dec, DC2
redheadbedhead, due 23 Jan 2012 DC1
Boobz, due March 2012, DC3

ARRIVED
SelinaDoula, Baby boy Finn arrived 5 days overdue Aug 3, quick homebirth but transfer due to tear.
JenniL, Baby girl Elise Olivia arrived 28 Aug, crash section due to placental abruption.
KtisPG, Baby boy Edwin James arrived very overdue on 10 Sept, fab hospital waterbirth.
Nannyl, Baby girl born 14 Sept, amazing hypnobirth at home.

P.S. Am going to unceremonially kick the first 3 off the due list if they don't bloody well come back and tell us how they got on!

GirlWithTheMouseyHair Mon 26-Sep-11 21:28:07

first three? there are tons there apparently still due

how are you jammy? i think whatever happens prepare yourself mentally for induction, i didn't have to be induced in the end with ds but had spent lots of energy preparing in case of transfer it utterly freaked me out the thought of having to start in hospital too

2 months to go, at the osteopaths every week to cope with the pelvic pain, am still struggling to come to terms with this pregnancy being so ridiculously more difficult than the last one

jammyscone Mon 26-Sep-11 23:20:27

I've had a bag packed for ages in case I have to transfer, but I'm not sure how to prepare for induction sad I'm not going to agree to be induced without a good reason (not just that it's protocol).

Boobz Tue 27-Sep-11 10:21:41

The first 3 as they were due ages ago, but the other ones are more recent and so am giving them a chance to get on an update - I don't think the others will (although I think I saw on another thread that minicorrect had to transfer in from her homebirth, so maybe that's why she hasn't returned. Would love to hear the birth story regardless of where it ended up being!)

I don't know about the whole induction thing. I have been lucky that my 1st was born 40+3 days (but contractions started day before due date), and my second was born on her due date, so, so far, I've not had the dreaded clock ticking. But I would like to think I would hold out until 43 weeks or thereabouts.

I'm also pretty dead set against epidurals (not in principle for other women, just for me as I think it would lead to a whole load of interventions which I want to avoid). But so many people say that contractions and labour are that much harder when induced, so you should get the epidural in early as you just can't cope without it. I have seen lots of women here (Sudan) induced (routinely done at around 40+10) and no epidurals in place (not available because of cost). They obviously cope because they have to, but I wonder whether the joy of labour and birth is completely sapped out of it by either having the epidural and thus probably having interventions and not the birth you wanted, or whether the pain is so bad WITHOUT an epidural that labour and birth is also not the event you wanted it to be (albeit without interventions, or any more at least, since the original intervention of inducing the labour artificially). What's worse? What would I want?

My friend had a "normal" birth in that she laboured for about 12 hours on a MLU and gave birth with only gas and air and I think a small 1st degree tear. Sounds perfect, but she says the pain was so bad that she would rather have both her legs broken next time than go through that kind of pain again. So she will probably have an epidural next time as she can't bear the thought of that pain again, even if it means forceps or C-section (not saying that these will happen, but we all know the stats). She said she would rather have forceps and not feel the contraction and pushing pain, rather than have the same birth (spontaneous vaginal delivery on MLU) again.

I seem to have got off topic. Sorry about that. Hope it doesn't come to any of this anyway jammy!

jammyscone Tue 27-Sep-11 12:46:35

Yes, me too! I'm only 6 days over so far so there's still a bit of time. Whole pineapple yesterday, started on a mango today and have 2 pineapples and a man (for sex) on standby smile

2BlackCats Tue 27-Sep-11 13:51:18

40 +5 still waiting... still doesn't feel engaged yet though. Have been struggling with back pain and mobility, so MLU and water birth may end up being the option, but still on for home birth if I feel up to it... I think thursday sounds like a good day to have a baby smile

Boobz Tue 27-Sep-11 15:23:44

I found a vigorous sweep and some action with the DH on all fours tipped me over the edge both times (TMI).

It's a race then if you're also overdue by about the same amount! Thursday is a good day indeed. Fingers crossed.

MissTriangle Tue 27-Sep-11 21:20:12

Hello everyone- sorry have been on the quiet side. Just thought I would update on how things went.
Was due on the 9th sept, but that date came and went. Finally started with contractions early morning of 40+8 (the 17th) but it was slow to progress. The midwife finally came round and thought I was far along enough for her to stay on the afternoon of the 18th. Managed to get into the birthing pool and was using the gas and air but did not progress past 6cm- although I was there for hours. I stayed at home for as long as possible but in the end requested to transfer into hospital at about 9pm. Which was something that I swore I would never do. Ended up with an epidural as I couldn't tolerate it anymore. The dr and MW at hospital said due to the position of baby she was not coming out on her own so At 5.30am on the 19th was taken to theatre. They tried forceps and ventouse but in the end needed a c section.
I have found the whole experience quite traumatic and struggling not to be disappointed in myself. I was so positive for having a homebirth but then nothing went to plan. Luckily my lovely daughter Eva was born safely and she is okay.
Now though my section wound is infected and I am still in a lot of pain. Feel like I just want to cry and forget the whole thing.
Good luck to everyone still waiting for their homebirths.

jammyscone Tue 27-Sep-11 22:34:51

Thanks for sharing your story, MissTriangle. Sorry to hear about your infected wound and that you had an unhappy experience sad

jammyscone Tue 27-Sep-11 22:36:42

Thursday does sound like a good day, 2BlackCats. I've got a sweep booked for Sunday, but I'm hoping I don't have to have one, as I don't like the sound of someone swishing my innards unless they have to be.

Boobz Wed 28-Sep-11 07:47:19

Hi MissTriange - thanks so much for coming back to tell your story - it's always nice to know who turned up and when! Eva is a beautiful, elegant name.

You must be gutted the way things turn out. I think c-sections are hard for anyone who hasn't elected to have one, but even harder for would-be homebirthers, as they are so far away from what we plan and want from our birth. I too would feel disappointed so don't let anyone say "don't worry about it, at least she's here safe and that's all that matters", because I think that completely sweeps under the carpet the feelings of the mother, and there are 2 people in this birth process, the mum and the baby! So you have every right to feel a bit cheated and to feel cross about it, but don't feel disappointed in youself, as you did everything right. I suppose time will heal things, and the more Eva grows and interacts, the more you will come to terms with what happened and hopefully plan for a better event for #2, should you have a brother or sister for her.

But it's ok to feel pissed off now, it really is. You did everything you could though, and you must take some pride and comfort in that, that you gave everything you could to get what you wanted, but some things just don't go to plan.

I hope your infection gets better soon - that must really take the biscuit on top of everything else! Have you got any photos? Have updated the list again with Eva's arrival.

DUE
LoveBeingAtHomeOnMyOwn, due 8 September
RealityVonCrapp , due 19 September, DC3
Jammyscone, due 21 September, DC1
2blackcats, due 22 September, DC2
KateeTheBump, due 16 October, DC1
KellyKettle, due 28 Oct, DC2
GirlWithTheMouseyHair, due 24 November, DC2
Tortoiseonthehalfshell, due 26 November, DC2;
usingapseudonym, due 2 Dec, DC2
redheadbedhead, due 23 Jan 2012 DC1
Boobz, due March 2012, DC3

ARRIVED
SelinaDoula, Baby boy Finn arrived 5 days overdue Aug 3, quick homebirth but transfer due to tear.
JenniL, Baby girl Elise Olivia arrived 28 Aug, crash section due to placental abruption.
KtisPG, Baby boy Edwin James arrived very overdue on 10 Sept, fab hospital waterbirth.
Nannyl, Baby girl born 14 Sept, amazing hypnobirth at home.
MissTriangle, Baby girl Eva born 19 Sept, long labour with transfer to hospital for C-section.

LearningFast Wed 28-Sep-11 12:35:24

Hi all,

So sorry for being out of touch and not posting a quick update before. Rory was finally born on 7th September, and is absolutely lovely!

The birth process however, was not, and eventually happened by C Section after a transfer to hospital in an ambulance and then them trying 3 times to pull him out with forceps. All a bit traumatic for Rory, DH and myself and not at all what we had in mind!

Following this we had a very difficult few days in hospital as Rory was quite jaundiced and also had a tongue tie which was identified and cut on day 2 - this meant he didn't latch at all well and feeding was difficult. During his stay in hospital Rory was attended to by 22 different staff (just for his care alone, not mine) due to the staff shift patterns, and we were getting conflicting views from the staff on what was happening with his feeding.

Eventually we got ourselves home and back into the care on our independent midwife, who has been great, only to find the feeding problems continued until I had awful open sores... turns out the tongue tie needed cutting again...

There is a lot more I could write but baby is waking! We're still struggling to breastfeed - supply is now an issue due to Rory not drawing milk off well for nearly 3 weeks. Currently doing lots of expressing between feeds. Will post again when I can.

jammyscone Thu 29-Sep-11 15:51:07

Sorry to hear you didn't have the ideal experience, LearningFast. Hope you get the breastfeeding running smoothly soon!

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Mon 10-Oct-11 13:38:15

I have nothing to add, I'm just making sure this thread doesn't fall off my TIO page again. Still here, at 33w+, hospital ob has signed off on collaborative care plan with midwife even though I have The Dreaded Gestational Diabetes, all is good.

Still can't envision exactly where I'd actually give birth, but I'll work it out on the night I'm sure.

MrsHuxtable Mon 10-Oct-11 13:55:08

Hello everyone,

I'm 22 weeks pregnant with my first baby and have just realised that I actually really want a home birth.
I've just changed my birth plans completely during the last week. I'm from Germany but live in Central Scotland. Originally, the plan was to go back home to give birth because I prefer the hospital there but have since changed my mind for purely logistical reasons.
So now I'm back to square one. "Stuck" here and not liking the local hospital very much. I was admitted in early pregnancy due to hyperemesis and the care was abysmal. To be fair, the hospital has moved to new facilities since so that aspect won't be the same but of course the rest still is.

I can't get the idea of a home birth out of my head. Do you think it's to late to talk to the midwife about it? I will only see one again at 30 weeks and that won't be the community midwife but just a random one at the hospital where I have to go for blood test and my anti-D injection.

Can I make an "extra" appointment with the community midwife before that to discuss the possibility of a home birth? I know they only have 2 or some such ridiculous number a year in my health district. Would that make the midwives really anti home birth as they won't have as much experience?

I also have some more questions:

The new hospital is a 25 minute drive from our flat. Do you think that is still reasonable in case I have to transfer in an emergency?

Also, if I have to transfer, will the midwife be pissed off with me for insisting on a home birth first, putting her through the inconveniences, and then having to transfer in anyway?

I'd really love to stay in my own space with my own things and food and my cat as a companion!

2BlackCats Mon 10-Oct-11 14:51:59

Glad to announce that baby girl safe and well strangely enough on Thursday 29th as intuition told me...
Home birth went to plan, short story:
Woke DH at 5.50am, midwives arrived 7am. My regular MW arrived at shift change about 8.30 waters broke about 9.40 and baby arrived at 10.13 with the 2nd MW making it with minutes to spare...
Overall a fantastic experience, lovely to be at home, MW cleared up everything and ran bath/helped me in and left us to enjoy the first few hours alone together.
DH positive it was the right choice for us smile although he did scrub the floor with a toothbrush after the MW left (no not joking!)
Worst aspect was stitches afterwards but that would be the case wherever we chose.
Baby feeding beautifully and keeping us awake as per the new baby manual!
Good luck to everyone else awaiting a home birth.
I know I was lucky with the timing but it was great to have my regular MW with me.

nannyl Mon 10-Oct-11 14:59:28

Mrs i spoke to you breifly in other thread.

1 as far as i know you can make an appt with a midwife at any point though here they dont book you for a home birth until 37 weeks

2) I lived 40mins from the hospital (hour + in bad traffic) one of the many reasons i decided TO have a home birth.....

3) No midwives will not be pissed off.... a large number of home birthers transfer during or after birth anyway, and you can change ur mind and transfer at any point anyway.
(my midwives all LOVED home births, and were very positive)

Go for it, its your right to choose to have your baby where ever you want

and i LOVED my own (clean) bath afterwards, my king size bed, egyption cotten bedlinen and other half in bed with me straight after, and having brioch immediatly after birth, and we could ear what ever we wanted as had our own kitchen full of food. so much nicer than hospital

KellyKettle Mon 10-Oct-11 16:56:49

I've fallen off this thread again.

<<bookmarks>>

<<catches up>>

KellyKettle Mon 10-Oct-11 17:04:29

2blackcats! congratulations! That sounds fabulous - perfect even! When did you notice contractions starting? If you feel like posting the long version i'd love up read it!

MrsH they don't book you in for HB here (England not Scotland though) until 36 weeks. It was only touched upon before then.

I am 37+4 now. Trial filling the pool today - I can't say it's going well. It's taking forever to fill and our crap boiler doesn't have enough ooomph to do it all in one go. I've had to turn off the tap and let the water heat up again.

If I have a fast labour I won't stand a chance of getting in the pool unless I'd just enjoy a therapeutic foot-soak....smile

PreggoEggo Mon 10-Oct-11 18:30:49

Hi I'd like to join! am 26 weeks and very keen on homebirth with baby number 3...

how long do the pools take to fill? worried after reading kellykettle's post that it takes awhile!!!! last baby was 2 hours 23 mins... !

MrsH- hi from other thread!! dont worry, i havent even met my midwife yet and wont until i am 28 weeks!!!! I recently moved to a new area so have to book in with the midwife, and havent even see the hospital around here. I am glad to hear you dont need to book it til 36 weeks, Im guessing if you go into labour earlier than this you need to go into hospital as it would be a premature delivery?

Boobz Mon 10-Oct-11 18:47:43

Oh God Learningfast – what a rubbish way for things to happen for you. I’m so pleased Rory is happy and healthy and here, but I know you must be disappointed. How is the breast feeding going now? He is just over a month now – all a bit better?

Welcome MrsHuxtable - glad to have you with us. Don’t really have much to add on to what nannyl said – I don’t know how things differ in Scotland from England, but essentially I think you are fine to mention it now and then make the final decision in the days leading up to the birth. It is a bit pot luck with the midwife thing – I was lucky enough to request to be on a very pro homebirth team from the start and had amazing midwives for both DDs, but I know you can get a few not so brilliant ones. Keep with us on this thread – there is loads of good advice all the time. My one piece of advice is: when you think you can’t do any more and want to transfer in for a sleep (epidural) / pain relief, just say “I will do one more hour and see how I feel then”. Suddenly 48 more hours have gone by and then you’ve given birth at home. First births ARE harder, but if you stay at home, they are totally more amazing than anywhere else.

Congratulations 2blackcats! What a fabulous story – you must be over the moon and still high from it all. Will update the list. Any photos? A name?

Kellykettle - we nearly didn’t get the pool filled in time for DD2. Because DD1 had taken forever and a day to arrive, DH thought he had ages to get the pool ready for DD2’s arrival. The midwife said at about 3:30pm (Connie born at 6:05pm) – er, I think you better get the pool going, and Ed just looked a bit blank about it all! I think he had been planning to watch the rugby and leave me to it like the first time!

DUE
LoveBeingAtHomeOnMyOwn, due 8 September
RealityVonCrapp , due 19 September, DC3
Jammyscone, due 21 September, DC1
KateeTheBump, due 16 October, DC1
KellyKettle, due 28 Oct, DC2
GirlWithTheMouseyHair, due 24 November, DC2
Tortoiseonthehalfshell, due 26 November, DC2;
usingapseudonym, due 2 Dec, DC2
redheadbedhead, due 23 Jan 2012 DC1
Boobz, due March 2012, DC3

ARRIVED
SelinaDoula, Baby boy Finn arrived 5 days overdue Aug 3, quick homebirth but transfer due to tear.
JenniL, Baby girl Elise Olivia arrived 28 Aug, crash section due to placental abruption.
Learningfast, Baby boy Rory arrived 7 Sept, transfer and c-section.
KtisPG, Baby boy Edwin James arrived very overdue on 10 Sept, fab hospital waterbirth.
Nannyl, Baby girl born 14 Sept, amazing hypnobirth at home.
MissTriangle, Baby girl Eva born 19 Sept, long labour with transfer to hospital for c-section.
2blackcats, Baby girl born 29 Sept, lovely quick home birth

Boobz Mon 10-Oct-11 18:51:24

Jammyscone - you are now 19 days overdue - what's happening?!

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