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Childbirth

Advice needed from mums!

44 replies

Katy44 · 02/10/2006 11:40

Hi everyone,
I wasn't sure where this conversation should go so apologies if it's in the wrong area.
I'm 11 weeks pregnant with my first, and due on the 23rd of April. My husband's cousin is getting married on the 7th of May - exactly 2 weeks after!
I know everyone is different, but what, realistically, are the chances we'd be able to go to even part of the ceremony? Obviously if baby is 2 weeks late - no chance, but if baby is about on time or even up to a week late, what are the chances we'll feel up to popping in for the ceremony at least? I plan to breastfeed. I've also read somewhere that you shouldn't expose babies under 6 weeks to public places, as their immune systems aren't fully developed - is that true or just another scare story?
You might all laugh and say there's no way we'll be going to the wedding, but I'd hate to say no for definite and then find out it would have been possible!

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maggiesmama · 02/10/2006 11:42

go. you'll be knackered if youve had your baby, but you gotta get out and about. and if you havent, and its not too far, i'd whoop it up before everything changes...

good luck. enjoy your pregnancy. its just lovely.

madmarchscare · 02/10/2006 11:45

If your baby is on time(ish), and you feel up to it, then go. If not, dont. Sounds glib, but really, thats how it is.

finefatmama · 02/10/2006 11:46

how far is the venue from where you live? do you have to travel?

I was told to just keep others from coughing or sneezing into the baby's face, where i can identify that they've got a cold or illness. If anyone wants to hold the baby, you could politely refuse. otherwise, if you're not knackered and overwhelmed, you could go.

mosschops30 · 02/10/2006 11:47

You can expose your baby as much as you like, ds was in sainsburys on his way home from hospital.

However I would say that even if your baby is on time (not likely) then you will be tired, wobbly, possibly emotional just 2 weeks after. Those first weeks are the hardest especially when establishing b/feeding.

I would say a possible, and maybe just pop in for ceremony and a few canapes before heading home might be your best bet.

However you might be supermum, who b/feeds like a demon, regains her shape withn a week and has a dream baby. Dont make any definiate plans just enjoy your pregnancy and baby

Gobbledispook · 02/10/2006 11:47

IT's going to be hard to plan for that tbh.

Ds3 was only 3 weeks old when we had to travel down to London (from Manchester) for SIL wedding (we also had a 3.5 yr old and a 21 month old). I hated every minute of it tbh - with 3 children including a newborn it was very hard work and very stressful and not at all enjoyable.

With one newborn it would probably be OK. Travelling a long way is not great though so depends on where the wedding is.

Munz · 02/10/2006 11:48

yes if u feel up to it go, if not don't, althou I personally prob wouldn't stay longer than about 2 hours - just sort of a show your face to the main part (personal choice thou not to go to the party bit)

Katy44 · 02/10/2006 11:50

Wow, thanks for the quick replies. Think you're right, we'll keep our options open until nearer the time, I just wanted to check I wasn't being completely unrealistic in even considering going.
The wedding is about 40 miles away from us, but only about 15/20 miles from my Mum and Dad's so we will be able to break up the journey and have a place to escape to if it all gets too tiring.

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Katy44 · 02/10/2006 11:56

Glad to hear the 6 weeks thing is a myth! Munz I totally agree with you, I wouldn't particularly look forward to a party at the best of times, so we'd probably only go to the ceremony and then show our face at the reception to say congrats, not even stay for the food. But the bride and groom are being really understanding, they'll be happy with whatever we can manage.

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Munz · 02/10/2006 12:03

ooh yes deffo a myth - I took joey out at 2 weeks exactly into town, (just be prepared for every man hat and his dog to stop you in the street and coo over the bundle! )

alos don't expect too much from your self too early - mostly you should eat sleep and feed baby nothing else, so if it was me, I think i'd travel the half way to mums stop over night then go to the wedding from there, then do the same going back if thta makes sence - but it's entirely up to you, I know my friend had a c section (3rd baby) and she struggled sitting for too long. exactly, your family will be glad to see you in any way, and will prob not expect you to stay too long (and at least in the church/registry bit you can sit down as I highly doubt you'll be able to stand for long periods if the babys not v old - might be able to, it really all depends on the type of delivery you have tbh.

juicychops · 02/10/2006 12:44

i was out and about with baby 2 days after birth. i just couldn't handle staying indoors

NotSoUselessMum · 02/10/2006 13:01

me neither. we started at two days and never looked back. we went into work, 45 min away on the tube when DD was 2 weeks. for me it was much easier (and still is to some extent) going out than staying in.

having said that we went to Wales to see some of DH's friend after 5 weeks and it was too much, I was in tears the all time. late baby blues, maybe DH going to the pub and me stuck home more likely - he just didn't get it back then!!

it's hard to plan but if you feel like it go for it. like everyone say you might be too shattered to go or to stay for long or you might enjoy the change os scenery.

MKG · 02/10/2006 13:26

Katy you should definitely go. In those first few weeks when you feel totally gross and tired and very un-sexy, it's nice to have something special to look forward to. Also if it is nice weather you will want to be out of the house. I also think that the earlier you take your child out in public the better they will react to being in public.

Case in point. I took ds out 5 days after he was born. He is great with people holding him and talking to him and nothing startles him. My sil didn't leave her house (or her pajamas) for six weeks. Her ds is now 9 months and screams whenever he goes out and can't handle being touched by other people. It may just be a coincidence, but I think that the more people you expose your child to, the better they will react in the long run.

Katy44 · 02/10/2006 13:34

Thanks everyone, now for the next question...what to wear!!

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WriggleJiggle · 02/10/2006 17:53

When I got married I was lucky enough to have friends who brought their 3 day old baby. They had to travel an hour and a half to get there. Their little dd absolutely stole the day, she was so georgeous. It felt right for them, but childbirth is so different for everyone, make your mind up nearer the time.

terramum · 02/10/2006 18:02

"Thanks everyone, now for the next question...what to wear!! "

Something that breastpads dont show through

marjean · 02/10/2006 18:10

Support everything that's been said already - you can't really plan for these things. Couple of tips: Carry baby in a sling if poss at the wedding. This way, they'll (hopefully) be more calm and I've found that sling-wearing deters people's requests to hold. Secondly, it's obvious but wear something really easy to bf in. I took a 2 month old to a wedding in August. Couldn't wear any of the fabulous floaty dresses around but chose a black (OK - not a summery wedding colour but it hides leakage stains) loose top with a pink and black skirt. Thirdly, don't worry about it. I was so nervous of my baby kicking off mid-ceremony or puking over bride's dress etc. but it was fab - in general, people love babies and are very understanding. I think people will think you're incredible for making the effort anyway.

MKG · 03/10/2006 00:54

Katy,

Try to wear a fabric that will breathe. Sometimes the "night sweats" that new moms get can be "all day sweats"

Katy44 · 07/10/2006 12:09

Night sweats? I knew nothing about those!! Thanks for the tip.

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katiebirdie · 07/10/2006 22:34

he he terramum good tip! bit of a cliche katy but wear something you will be comfortable in (if you are bf you need to think practical as well as beautiful)

nojopo · 07/10/2006 23:03

if you've had the baby 1- 2 weeks before you'll probably still look 5 months pregnant so its hard to plan an outfit as not much idea what's going to fit. i had the same dilemma with my sil getting married 12 days after my due date ds was born 13 days late so very glad i didn't buy an outfit! I had a vague plan to run in to topshop the day before the wedding if we were going to go - how realistic that was i don;t know but it stopped me worrying about it. word of warning my boobs became huge when my milk came in so a good comfy feeding bra is a must- the ones i wore when pregnant were too small , you'll want flat shoes too. Comfy trousers and a empire line top would be my bet if you do plan , i wasn't comfortable bfing so early in public so worth finding out if a space you can feed in away from the main do. if so you've more options top wise. good luck with it all.

FatThighs · 07/10/2006 23:20

see how you feel.

I went to a friend's wedding when dd was 6 weeks old. They really appreciated us making the effort and it was nice to feel human again. I would plan to go along and only stay for a bit and if it is going well stay more!

The family will all love the added chance to meet your new arrival and it will give you something else to ponder whilst waiting for your little one to appear.

Wishing you all the best...

bottomburp · 07/10/2006 23:46

i went to awedding 4 wks after(had section though so that seemed big massive effort), i wore my fab black blooming marvellous dress with lovely floaty pink cardy and gorgeous necklace and handbag all courtesy of my mum.when i was 7 mths preggers she was depserate to buy me a dress to come home from hospital in.its cotton and black and long and i thought what a waste of money but avtually wore it like mad at the end as so comfy but looked fine in it.she was right i did like looking a but smart coming home from hosp as well and that is most unlike me.

i think whoever said take baby in sling is a genius that is fab advice.

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bottomburp · 07/10/2006 23:48

oh sorry had lovely shawl to drape all over myself when BFg

kama · 07/10/2006 23:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Katy44 · 09/10/2006 19:43

Yes, she is being very understanding, she's said it's completely up to us if we are there or not, but if we can make it there will be 2 seats for us and a high chair!
I didn't like to point out that at

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