Can I just keep feeding twice a day?

[Maveta]

My ds is almost 8 months and still feeds 4 times a day and a couple of times in the night. Over the last couple of weeks I've dropped the 10pm feed, then the afternoon feed and am now dropping the mid morning feed (replacing with formula) so am feeding him first thing in the morning and at bedtime (and through the night when he wants it). Should I be able to keep this up for a while? I do feel slightly sad about pulling back on breastfeeding but I feel like it's the right time for us. However I'm scared my supply will dry up and I'll be forced to give up completely which I don't think either of us are ready for!! The morning doesn't seem a problem, but the last few nights he takes very little at his 7pm feed (and his 10pm feed is then a bottle) so I worry I will unintentionally lose that feed too, which we both really enjoy as a way to say goodnight. Then last night at 2am I woke up to find dh giving him a bottle! Which we've never done! I was so upset and felt really scared that overnight my milk will stop after a 'nothing' feed at 7pm and then nothing through the night either. advice or reassurance would be greatly appreciated..

[moondog]

At 8 months i was working f/t and we fed at night and in the morning on demand and carried on for 30 mths (baby had no formula or EBM either)
If you want to carry on ,i think that 10 pm bottle is a mistake. i would breastfeed when you are there and not when you are not.

[Maveta]

I'm not sure that is really practical for us.. I currently work mon, wed, fri so on those days he would have 2 bottles and then when I was there have breastfeeds? We did this for a couple of months but I am tired of expressing at work and don't want to anymore and if I don't drop those feeds completely I am too uncomfortable at work when I can't feed him (if I'm not to express). I can understand the reasoning if you are full time but then, what did you do at the weekend?

I'm actually finding this whole transition from breast to mixed feeding and factoring in food extremely confusing. And I'm sure he is too.

[Maveta]

or are you saying I should just drop middle of the day feeds full stop?

[laundrylover]

At this stage you should just be able to feed whenever - my DD2 is 21 months and I can go away for 2 days for instance and be fine. I agree with the advice to feed when you are there and would also say that at 8 months your LO should be fine without a bottle all day so I wouldn't bother with formula either. Give water and even a small cup of cow's milk - as long as BM continues to be the main milk drink that's fine. Can you still bfeed before and after work?

I think that in the UK we really lack advice for mums who feed past 6 months and many turn to formula/full on expressing rather than trusting in their bodies to adapt! See how you get on and take that bottle off your DH.

[Maveta]

Oh I feel so anxious I could cry! I don't know why this is having this effect on me, I think you are so right that it feels like support just disappears after 6 months! So if my ds seems hungry during the day I should offer him water and maybe a snack? And if I've been messing around with replacing feeds with formula for a couple of weeks now, will be supply adjust back to what he needs??

I'm happy to feed in the morning, in the evening, at bedtime and in the night. I just don't want to feed in the middle of the day anymore (say from 9am - 5pm).

[laundrylover]

Why do you not want to feed him on the days that you are with him?

[lyra41]

your supply will probably stay very flexible for as long as you want it. My ds is nearly 2 and eats a full varied diet, I bf one feed in the morning only, and very occasionally in the middle of the night. Sometimes we miss a day, or two, once we stopped for 2 weeks. Milk always seems to be there when he needs it.

I think you'll be fine feeding as and when you want. I'd say give him formula / cows milk / whatever seems right to you during the day, but maybe just from a cup? That's what I did and it all seemed to work OK.

[5goldrings4MONKEYBIRDs]

maveta - sorry to hear it's making you anxious and sad... but really IME, laundry is right - after 8 months you should be able to adapt your feeds to when it works to give them. why not give what you want to do a try and if it doesn't work out feed a bit more to build the supply up again or express?

I'd be surprised if your supply dried up after missing one feed or one day but maybe it does happen. But both my prev babies were exclusively BF till 5m and 6m respectively then after that I was pretty much free to feed them when I could and did so with 2 regular feeds first thing and last thing, with other feeds in between as and when - sometimes a 3rd feed on a weekday sometimes not, sometimes extra feeds all weekend and nights, sometimes not - it made little difference to my supply and lots of women report the same... Why not ring a BFC for support on this also?

[laundrylover]

You see Maveta, plenty of us feed longterm in a random way! Great words of advice on here. Please don't get anxious about this. You want to continue bfing which is great and your son will be pleased about this in his own way BUT he is also eating food and drinking other fluids as he is growing up so chill out and go with the flow a bit.

Why not try a day where he just gets cups and no bottles when you are at work? Feed him when he wakes and when you get home from work - what a welcome home it is when your LO runs to the door shouting 'booby, booby'!!! Good excuse to sit down with a cuppa and have a lovely cuddle and feed.

[Maveta]

Thanks, this is reassuring me a little bit..I think I'll try offering water or a small snack over the next few days and see how we go. He still wakes several times a night and I think we were hoping that some formula might help settle him aswell but as evidently it hasn't it's even more reason to just ditch it altogether.

Laundrylover - mostly because until I started cutting out the feeds 2 weeks ago he was still feeding as he always had, about 5 times a day and twice a night. I was finding it all too much, draining, demanding and it was leaving me very engorged at work meaning I needed to express which I just don't want to do anymore.
In the end I imagine if I am with him and he wants to feed I'll let him but I'm not sure. He's got to that very distractable age and I'm not as keen anymore to just be sat in public with my boobs out while he takes in the sights and sounds and turns back and forth to the breast as he wishes. It's tiring. He seems disinterested so I sit him up and put it away and then he pushes back to lie down again etc etc.

[laundrylover]

You're right Maveta bfing does change as they get older. As a rule I don't feed when out and about but did yesterday at a playgroup party and for some reason felt uncomfortable.

I dropped night feeds a while back but never replaced with formula - I just don't feed her in the night (apart from when she's poorly) until she wakes at 6am (need to tackle that next!).

The engorgement should ease - it's a tough one as expressing relieves the engorgement but also stimulates production. How about trying to just hand express a little or maybe wait and see if they subside after a while. If I'm away with work I get full at bedtime but it seems to diappear by 10pm after a few glasses of wine.

[Maveta]

well I'm already less engorged today so I guess it will just subside slowly. When you say you dropped night feeds can I ask how you did that? And when?

[LittleMissLate]

I've just stopped feeding at 12 months and fed just once per day for the last 5 weeks or so and didn't seem to have a supply problem. I know what you mean about feeling a little sad about stopping - I had expected to more or less give up by 8 months when dd started nursery but didn't feel the time was right - I carried on feeding morning and night plus day time on non-nursery days then dropped down to morning and night only then night time only. The very gradual reduction has been best for both of us - no engorgement at all and dd has adjusted to a cup okay.

[TheHollyhobbieAndTheIvy]

I breastfed DD only twice a day from about 12 months until 14 months or so.
One side for her naptime and one side at nighttime before bed. It worked fine, with no engorgement. By that age she was getting all her nutrition from 'real' food and the breastfeeding was just a comfort thing, I'm sure.
I then dropped the naptime feed (replaced with cows milk in a beaker) and then finally the evening feed at about 18 months. It was easy, there was as much milk as she wanted and she never seemed to miss the breastfeeding because there was such a slow wind-down.
The thing to remember is just to take it easy, don't beat yourself up too much, it will happen and you'll probably be the one crying because it was your last breastfeed, your DS probably won't even notice it!

[laundrylover]

DD2 was over 12 months and DP just got up and comforted her back to sleep. These days we just leave her to whinge - too cold to get out of bed.

[NorthernLurkerwithastarontop]

Hi maveta - I intend to do what you are thinking - am still feeding B once during the day - sometimes twice and then am and evening (and in the night - but that's another story! )
Anyway - with my other two I certainly cut back gradually to one or two feeds a day without loss of supply - and then stopped altogether without any trouble. I really see it as the best of both worlds - good luck!

[Maveta]

Thanks everyone for the advice and support. I'll give the new routine a shot for a few days and let you know how it goes! I certainly feel more reassured and calmer already so hopefully it'll continue!

[Maveta]

Oh God how FRUSTRATING! Brought my mum (who looks after ds while I work) up to date on the new plan this morning after this thread.. she said she'd already given him a morning bottle but he'd drunk less than half. Nevermind, no worries.

Called to find out how lunch went and she hadn't given it to him yet (1.30pm!) because he was sleeping and she couldn't give it to him before. Why? Because he was finishing off his bottle!!! (yes, the same one from about 11am that he hadn't drunk!)

I'm off to cry now...

[laundrylover]

Take a deep breath and chill woman. Was it ebm in the bottle? TBH I've had to develop an attitude of not worrying about what I can't see - my mum and MIL indulge the kids so much. I remember the first time that MIL babysat DD1 she gave her boiled water from a spoon but you know what? It stopped her crying til I got home to feed her!

Yesterday DP and I ran in a 10k race and both grandmothers had the girls!! They just had biscuits and choclate for an hour and ran around like loons it seems.

[Maveta]

I know, I know, it's just really frustrating.. I've been asking her for weeks to give him lunch at about 12pm so that his meals are spread out better (he has breakfast at 7am and tea about 5pm) and she almost without fail gives it to him at 2pm meaning he eats his tea but then doesn't want any milk.

I know I know I know (repeat as required). But it really does my nut in.

And breathe.

[Maveta]

and no, it was formula.

[laundrylover]

Never mind - just let her give him cups in the future maybe so he gets a little bit of milk/water/juice at a time.

My mum is the same with sleeps and so was DD1s nursery. So soul destroying when you pick them up at 5pm and they are fast asleep!!!! Roll on tantrums at bedtime.

[AwayInAMunker]

Maveta, you need to impress upon her that it's not a good idea to keep formula that long and re-offer it to your son for hygiene reasons.

As far as bfing goes, I found feeding when I was with the boys and letting whoever's looking after them give them food and water worked well. With DS1, I went back to work when he was 6mo and expressed for him as he didn't have much in the way of solid food initially. DS2 was 9mo when I went back and he wouldn't take more than a couple of ounces of ebm, but would guzzle away when he was with me. I did random shifts with him - three full days, then four when he was one - I'm still feeding him and he's 23mo now.

It will work out - if you feel uncomfy when you're at work, you can always hand express a bit in the loo - no need to use a pump or keep the milk?

[eeewahwoowah]

I went back to work f/t when ds was 9 months. I breast fed once before going to work in the morning and then on demand when I got home and through the night and throughout the day on the weekends. We finished breastfeeding finally when he was 3. I have to say I was amazed at how my milk supply fit with his demand. The only time ds had formula was when I wasn't around. Can you make the 10pm feed breast rather than bottle and then all night feeds breast?

[AwayInAMunker]

eeewahwoowah - Edward Woodward?