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Infant feeding

facts to make an informed choice....

40 replies

popsycal · 09/10/2006 19:46

I am hestitating a little about srtarting this thread.....please please please keep it uncontentious.....

My sister is pregnant and will not breast feed as it 'isn't for her'. I am all for choice but genuinely believe that 'breast is best'. It is also a personal issue for me as I am still feeding my 19 month old.

She knows very little about breast feeding but seems to have made up her mind...and I can't help thinking it is at least, in part, to her knowledge of my ds2's dreadful sleeping habits.

So:

  1. where can i find some good factual information about breast feeding that isn't 'preachy'?
  2. how can I put my own experiences across alongside the facts to persuade her to at least consider it?



It is her choice, but I think it should be at least an informed choice....


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popsycal · 09/10/2006 19:47

already scared of the responses...

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amijee · 09/10/2006 19:48

i'm sure all smokers know it will kill them...cause cancer..etc but still do it.

Leave her alone - it's her choice

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lemonaid · 09/10/2006 19:53

I think you need to keep out of it, honestly. I suspect you won't be able to do anything without creating ill-feeling and damaging your relationship.

(and I say that as someone bf a 20-month-old)

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popsycal · 09/10/2006 19:54

I have no intention of twisting her arm at all. I just want her to have the facts, which she does not have at the moment

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ScareyCaligulaCorday · 09/10/2006 19:56

Just recommend Mumsnet. Not for breastfeeding, just in general. She'll soon come across a few violent breastfeeding threads and click on any links she feels like.

You can't force information on someone who doesn't want to be informed though.

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lemonaid · 09/10/2006 19:57

I know what you want to do, and I entirely sympathise, but I just don't think there's any way of having it come across in the spirit in which you mean it.

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popsycal · 09/10/2006 19:57

I know.
I daren't recommened MN!

It is my place

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Mercy · 09/10/2006 19:57

Popsycal, I can't advise re the breastfeeding pros as I did it for such a short time. But as I can put forward some bottle feeding cons (not what you are looking for but it may help)

  1. Formula feeding costs money (around £5 per tin per week/10 days + plus cost of bottles, repacing/upgrading teats)


  1. If you are able to go away for a weekend/holiday you end up lugging round loads of kit


  1. She may get overly concerned about hygiene (sterilising etc)


  1. May get overly concerned about how much formula the baby is getting


HTH
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popsycal · 09/10/2006 19:58

*mY8 place meeaning mn is my place

not my place to dictte to her
just to clarify

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popsycal · 09/10/2006 19:58

Thansk mercy!!!

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asleep · 09/10/2006 19:59

i would persuade her to attend a good ante-natal class as they should present her with all those facts and more.

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lulumama · 09/10/2006 20:00

agree with the other posters...but i sorely regret not breast feeding my children and would have welcomed some real help and advice...have just read a sheila kitzinger book on b/f which was a help.....but it's hard to turn someone around on such a sensitive topic....

maybe gently discuss why she thinks it isn't for her and have some responses for her that are not arm twisting... its a tough one

its lovely you care so much for your sister and her baby,.

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popsycal · 09/10/2006 20:00

another good idea

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liath · 09/10/2006 20:02

If she is determined not to BF then even if she tried it'd be half-hearted and probably fail. However - if she does nothing else if she gave the baby colostrum that could make a significant difference to baby's health in terms of antibodies etc. She could express & syringe feed it if she wanted & it'd only be for the first couple of days. Do you think that's something she'd consider for the baby's sake??

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popsycal · 09/10/2006 20:05

not sure
i havent spoken face to face with her about it yet....still quite early stages....but she seems pretty sure

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TheBlonde · 09/10/2006 20:14

Popsy - if your sis wanted to find out about breastfeeding surely she could look into it herself or of course ask you

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Sunnysideup · 09/10/2006 20:15

popsy, I think try not to worry too much now. I take it this is her first baby - if so it's all theory at the moment, and won't feel real to her.

When I was first pregnant I thought the whole idea of growing a baby inside me was gross! I had no maternal feelings, and I simply couldn't imagine breastfeeding a baby (I fully understood the benefits and fully intended to bf though, but it just didn't seem real to ME iyswim?)

Maybe her knowledge of your ds's bad sleeping is influencing her at present but she doesn't yet know how different it feels to be getting up in the night for the most gorgeous, angelic being that ever trod the earth - at the moment she's just imagining sleep deprivation without the magical element of her own love for her baby....

As she gets nearer the birth she may reconsider, or she may feel differently when faced with her own baby, or she might be one of those people whose babies are plonked on them and who suckle straight away so your whole time of worrying may be for nothing!

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popsycal · 09/10/2006 20:17

I understand what you are all saying. And while I really really don't want to be an annoying preachy big sister who gets her norks out at any opportunity, I think it is an important decision, and just to say 'it isn't for me' without proper consideration of the facts makes me

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popsycal · 09/10/2006 20:18

x posts with sunny then

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TheBlonde · 09/10/2006 20:21

Popsy - some people just don't like the idea
You assuming your sis hasn't considered the facts seems a tad insulting to her

I fed my DS til 17mths
A close cousin's first baby is due this month, from her reaction to me feeding DS I felt she wasn't keen on the idea.
I've not mentioned bf to her but she knows that she can ask me about it if she wants to.

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popsycal · 09/10/2006 20:23

niot insulting her....she told me with her own words that she knows nothing about the facts but has made the decision....

anyway
off to look for some info

don't worry - I am not going to press gang her with my weird extended breast feeding shenanighans and force her to feed her baby.....

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popsycal · 09/10/2006 20:24

how do you reconcile your own beliefs though with what you know and strongly believe

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TheBlonde · 09/10/2006 20:25

www.breastfeeding.nhs.uk

The nhs site maybe?

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liath · 09/10/2006 20:25

I suppose she may not have really considered the facts beyond having heard that "breast is best" and it could be assocoated in her mind with sleeping problems. I don't think it'd be out of order to discuss with her the benefits of even short term feeding. The problem would be bringing the subject up without her feeling a bit "got at".

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popsycal · 09/10/2006 20:26

thanks
will try kellymom too

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