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Things Girls Should Know - what are your thoughts?

(250 Posts)
KateMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 30-Jan-13 11:10:42

Last week, author and Mumsnet Blogger Kate Figes appeared on Woman's Hour with Steve Biddulph, author of the recently published Raising Girls.

The programme sparked plenty of discussion, and inspired a couple of interesting posts from Kate, who often writes about being the mother of teenage girls. The first (Things Girls Should Know About Bodies) - is here, and yesterday's post (Things Girls Should Know About Boys) is here.

It got us thinking here about things we'd like our daughters to know when they're older - and we thought we'd throw the discussion open to you. So, what are your own Things That Girls Should Know? Share your thoughts (and URLs if you blog) here.

TheLovingParent Wed 30-Jan-13 12:35:55

That she holds the answers within her. Her intuition will guide her, if she knows how to listen to it. If a girl knows that she has this inner strength and wisdom, she's much less likely to fall prey to outside pressures and influences. (I think!!) Same goes for mummies too!
As Steve Biddulph said at the start of his "Raising Girls" talk... WE (the parents) are the only experts on our children. We should never take other peoples' suggestions at face value, but find the answers within ourselves instead. smile

landrover Wed 30-Jan-13 14:12:51

I tell my nine year old that all boys smell! Im hoping i can keep that up till she s 21!!!!!!

cheapandchic Wed 30-Jan-13 14:29:29

There is ONLY ONE way to become more beautiful: work on building your character.

Beautiful women are kind, graceful, positive, intelligent and because they know these things, they are confident.

The size of your breasts or thickness of your waist is not going to captivate the opposite sex for more than five minutes.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Wed 30-Jan-13 14:34:13

you are loved for who you are, not what you look like.
do not believe him when he says 'but if you loved me you would....'
no All your friends are really not doing......

So, no need to buy the book then LovingParent ? wink

speculationisrife Wed 30-Jan-13 14:48:03

I want my daughter to have a strong enough sense of self to know this: http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/theres-nothing-empowering-about-girls-who-expose-themselves-online-look-what-happened-to-tulisa-8462195.html

speculationisrife Wed 30-Jan-13 14:49:27

Sorry, this Link should work now!

MmeLindor Wed 30-Jan-13 14:53:55

Girls should know that if they believe in themselves, they can become Presidents, scientists, sportswomen, diplomats, or even a puppeteer. They should have faith in their decisions, accept that they will make mistakes or have mishaps, but that they should not let anything or anyone stop them reaching for the stars.

On a more practical note, I believe strongly that girls - and boys - should be taught how to recognise the signs of controlling behaviour. Many women have told me that when they read this blog post, they have recognised a past abusive relationship. They say that they wished someone had told them about this before they got involved with their partner.

SnowBusiness Wed 30-Jan-13 14:56:24

That all boys think know that alcohol will make the seduction easier. I figured that out at 32!

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Wed 30-Jan-13 14:57:39

an excellent article speculation

I think you do have to let girls know that it's not an equal world.

I wish it was a lot more equal so that that wouldn't be necessary but until it is I don't think I should pretend otherwise - especially to DD.

slug Wed 30-Jan-13 15:00:30

That boys lie in order to make themselves look big in their friends eyes.

MmeLindor Wed 30-Jan-13 15:05:52

Thanks for linking to that, Speculation. Good article.

I would add that girls should know that if they send a photo of their intimate body parts to a boy, he WILL send it on to his pals, even if he promises not to.

And that you cannot take back what has gone online. Huge issue for our kids in the coming years - companies will google your name when you apply for a job.

wishingchair Wed 30-Jan-13 15:14:48

That pictures of models/celebrities in magazines are fake.

That magazines like Closer and Heat are toxic and only serve to make you feel bad about yourself and mean about others.

That it's pretty easy to look amazing if you employ a team of stylists, hairdressers, beauticians and make-up artists. 99.9% of the population don't, so don't compare yourself to celebrities.

That confidence comes from within, and even if you had better clothes/shoes/hair/teeth/breasts/legs, you'd still be you. So work on your inner self way more than your outer self.

Females young and old get judged a lot. Be prepared for it, and don't do it to others. We're our own worst enemies.

That porn sex is not real sex.

That they, and only they, decide how intimate they want to be in a relationship. It's easy to lose your virginity, but not so easy to find it again.

That although women now can "have it all" (the fabulous job, the amazing wardrobe, the immaculate house, the perfect body), it doesn't mean you have to, should expect/want to, or would be happy if you did.

That a sense of humour in yourself, your friends and your partner is essential.

AbigailAdams Wed 30-Jan-13 15:39:25

Am I the only one to find it a bit depressing that a lot of these things we shouldn't have to tell our daughters and they are often as a result of mens/boys behaviour?

I would introduce them to feminism.

confusionoftheillusion Wed 30-Jan-13 15:42:15

Make sure you're financially independent

Yes, I agree AA I think introducing DD(13) to feminism is called for.

I think I've already made a good start, but maybe going to something like a "Million Women Rise" march would be good ? In fact I've just had a wee google !

AbigailAdams Wed 30-Jan-13 15:55:10

Oh yes that is great fun Juggling!

MmeLindor Wed 30-Jan-13 15:59:15

Good point, Abigail.

I'm going to look for a Million Women Rise march to take DD to.

mummybare Wed 30-Jan-13 16:06:01

Fantastic list, wishingchair smile

Saturday 9th March apparently !
Meet Oxford Street 12pm march to Trafalgar Square for 1pm.
What would it be like ?
Many young people ?
Anyone good at links ? (sorry I can't do them yet)
Was there one last Saturday (26th) ? Anyone go to that ?

Morebiscuitsplease Wed 30-Jan-13 16:07:53

Agree with confusionoftheillusion, really really important for a girl to be able to support herself so she does not have to be dependent on a man.

Would also tell my girls that nothing is as good as it seems and nothing is as bad as it seems.

Finally, things usually work out for the best.

Sparklyboots Wed 30-Jan-13 16:08:57

I think all girls should know that the expectations that seem to come from the world around them have a social history and agenda, which usually isn't about their liberation, choice or freedom of expression. I'm not sure telling them outright that how they look doesn't matter etc etc will be that helpful, since the whole world will be acting as if it does and you'd be sort of shoring up the point by addressing it in those terms. Rather, I'd be focusing on discussion about why particular things are seen as acceptable or desirable, what focusing upon and fetishing female appearance actually achieves and wondering with them how they might negotiate those difficulties.

That there's a whole lot more to life that has nothing to do with sex, men, your appearance and being attractive !

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