I've never posted on here before but I just wanted to write this down. I feel so incredibly sad and I can't believe this happened to us.
I was 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant last Saturday when I went to the hospital with painful contractions. I got checked and my baby's heartbeat as well as everything else was fine, but I was only 1cm dilated so went home. When I went back the next afternoon with increasingly painful and frequent contractions, they couldn't find his heartbeat any more, even though I felt him move that morning and he had his usual hiccups. From then on everything just seemed like a very bad dream, although I somehow managed to stay very calm throughout. Everybody in the hospital was very supportive and understanding, and I had a great doula, but the reality hit after he was born the next morning.
My husband and I saw him, held him and we called him Oskar. He looked like he was just asleep and he is the most beautiful and sweet little boy I've ever seen.
It's only a few days ago and I know it's going to be a long and hard process, but right now I'm not sure how we can survive this.
Thanks for reading...
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Bereavement
Lost my baby boy ...
69 replies
marietje · 14/09/2012 18:56
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