Mumsnet Talk

Out for a walk today. My ds threw an absolute wobbler because the flock of seagulls on the seafront had the sheer audacity to fly off when he chased them.

He then proceeded to fill the front of his sandals with sand, looked up at me as if I was responsible for this horrendous crime screaming at the top of his voice "Mummygetitout'! Mummygetitout!"

was not sure wether to piss myself with laughter or be embarrased.

Well you do realise you are omnipotent right?

Which means everything is your fault!!!!

DD goes looney tunes if you help/look like your going to help/tiptoe into the arena of helping or have the downright audacity to not help.

Also she is illogically upset by t-shirts, its the short sleeves apparently....

ooh good one. It's so hard to keep a straight face isn't it?

Yesterday my 3 year old had d&v. Trying to make sure he got plenty of fluids, we gave him a drink of weak blackcurrant cordial which, of course he promptly threw up. Not too bad as we were ready for it and caught it in a pyrex bowl. When he'd finished, I whipped the bowl away, replacing it with a clean one, at which point my 23month old starts SCREAMING for me to bring back the "water". He was distraught when he saw me pour it away and ended up face down on the kitchen floor crying for the bowl of pink vomit.

nice

My DD is illogically upset by socks Blue.

She has to wear them all the time, even in bed. If you take them off she wails like the world is ending.

Makes bathtimes and toenail cutting times quite hard.

She also tells people off for not wearing socks. Which happens a lot in summer when everyone is wearing sandals / flip flops

My 17 month old flips his lid and refuse to eat if I roll his sleeves up at meal times

Stubbyfinger - LOL!!! Poor pickle.

IDream - How funny! How do you get clean ones on? In her sleep or really fast? Socks are OK, as long as they are pink. Short sleeves apparently not, as for long sleeves rolled up..... sob

i'm sighing and laughing at the same time. DS is only just 1 but i just know i'm going to have something to add to this thread very soon!

Because she's not a duck.

Because a very, very small fly landed on him.

Because a dog looked at her.

I could be here all night....

If I just take yesterday as an example

Because I put his hat on cos it was sunny
Because I moved him away from the fountain in the park
Because I put him in the car seat
Because I put him in the parm
Because I brushed his teeth
Bless him - he was having a bad day

DS1 (aged 3) tends to throw tantrums when his favourite tv programmes have ended - you always know when that has happened wherever you are in the house (or the street) by the sudden burst of noise...

Blue - I just change them very quickly And she HAS to choose which clean pair she wants first.

Funny about your DD's sleeves! And reassuring to know that all this seems to be normal toddler weirdness

IDream - I think they are truly hilarious, so I laugh (which stops me from openly sobbing of course at the utter ridiculousness of it all) and that makes her 100 times worse!

Another gem today. Entered the lounge to find toddler red in the face, snot smeared everywhere screaming his head off with his trousers halfway down. Mummy tried to pull them up, "nononomummywanttrousersdown!"
when I complied with request I was told, "nononomummywanttrousersup!"

I gave up and went to make a nice cup of tea.

DD cannot fathom the difference between 'Windows Down' and 'Windows Up' in the car..... it can take all the way to nursery to find out what she wants! Thank heaven for electric windows!!

Message withdrawn

Trefusis - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, breathe, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHa.... tears rolling down face now...

My DS's best one was a couple of weeks ago - we were watching Postman Pat when he decided actually he wanted to watch Thomas the Tank Engine instead. Wanting a quiet life (I was ill) I flipped to a recorded Thomas episode for him - but 5 seconds later...

"Pat!" So I swapped back.

"Train!" Hmmm. Swap again.

"PAT!" Ok...

"NOOOO! TRAIINNNNNNNN!! NO! TRAINNN! PATTTT! TRAIN PATTT!"

Damn me for not being able to play them both simultaneously

Me: "DD, do you want a drink?"
DD: "No"
Me: "Are you sure?"
DD: "Yes"
Me: "Okay, well I'm getting DS a drink"
DD: "NOOOOOOOOOOO, me want drink"
Me: "Okay, I'll get you one too, what do you want"
DD: "Don't want anything"
Me: <brings both kids a drink>
DD: "No, Mummy, I said no drink" <drinking from the cup>

We had one after walking past a black labrador one day. DD1 was getting pretty good at her colours at that stage so the convo went:

Me: What colour was the lovely dog, DD?
DD: red, mummy!
Me: Was it? Are you sure it wasn't...maybe...black?
DD: <throws self to floor, screaming> red, red, red it was red doggy!!!!

etc.

DD also cannot get the word 'No' in the right place or with the right intonation at the moment, so

No Drink actually means No, (whatever else is on offer) DRINK

No Daddy actually means No (Mummy/Sister/etc) DADDY

I think you get the issues here....

Because he didn't want to get in the bath.
Because he didn't want to get out of the bath.
Because he actually wanted a shower.
NOOOOO no shower, say bye bye shower. WAAAA!
Because he wanted his shoes on.
Because he wanted his wellies on.
Because he cannot wear shoes and wellies at the same time.
Because I dared suggest he try one on each foot (tantrum was almost avoided because he was quite busy giving me a Withering Look, until I laughed)
Because ITNG was on.
Because the Ninky Nonk came on instead of the Pinky Ponk - or possibly the other way round.
Because the sky is blue. Well, not really, but it feels like it sometimes.

TAFK - We have the ninky nonk/pinky ponk issues too. Which one wins with you - which one is the train as DD will only watch those ones.... she also only wants to watch the Peppa Pigs where George does not cry and Emily Elephant does not feature.

The best one recently was 'it's stopped raining, we won't get wet waaaaaaah'

has to be the ninky nonk here "noooooooooooo ping ponk noooo nooooo nooooo ponk, want ning nongk"

I once let dd1 go out with her shoes on the wrong feet. Trying to rectify said wardrobe malfunction was more than I could take first thing in the morning !