Support thread for speech and language delay.......

(285 Posts)
jaybirdsinginginthedeadofnight Sun 06-Apr-14 21:17:03

I know this has been done before on here, but I couldn't find anything recent and am sure there is someone out there going through similar worries to us. So if you want to share your experiences/worries come join me smile

DD turns 2 in 2 weeks and has no words, not one! She babbles constantly and has added new 'c' 's' and 'th' sounds to her babbling in the last week. Her understanding seems good and she has her own way of letting us know what she wants (point & whinge a lot). She will have her 2 year assessment next week, I intend on broaching the subject of SALT.

I am sooooo anxious about all of this. DD's cousin is 6months older, and as her speech has developed well she seems leaps and bounds ahead of DD sad

Jellyandjam Sun 06-Apr-14 21:46:57

Hi, what a great idea for a thread.
My DS is 5 and has disordered speech. Understanding has always been good but his speech was very unintelligible. He's had SALT on and off for a year now but is 7 months into private weekly sessions which have made a massive impact.
Try not to worry too much (hard I know). It's good you are onto it early, your LO is still young and may well just come on with no intervtion but always good to keep an eye on things smile

Notnigella33 Sun 06-Apr-14 22:50:01

Great idea, so pleased to have found this! My ds is two years 5months and has speech and lang delay due to having glue ear and not hearing very much until he had grommits five months ago. He is communicating in lots of ways, but has only the words mumma and no!
Speech and lang waiting list here is about a year.....we are about half way through that wait!

jaybirdsinginginthedeadofnight Mon 07-Apr-14 06:28:14

Welcome Jellyandjam and Notnigella33.

It is hard not to worry but then I worry about everything DH says that's when I'm happiest worrying and obsessing. I find it hard when I hear a LO a similar age to DD say 'mummy' my heart aches a little. DD has been going to jo jingles since she was 18months and has only recently started trying to do the actions to the songs and she's so funny when she does it at home she looks at us clapping her hands waiting for our applause.

Notnigella was it obvious to you the DS had a hearing issue? Just wondering as DD's hearing seems fine but how can you tell for sure?

DH and I were laughing about the helpful things friends say to you when you've a speech and language delay LO my clear favourite is 'you're sooooo lucky coz once they start they never shut up' hmmmmmmm!!

Jellyandjam Mon 07-Apr-14 08:03:23

jaybird I have so been there with comparing to others! DS is my second child and DD was talking really early and then I also had two friends who have DD's a few months younger than DS, their girls were doing so much better than DS and it would upset me when we all got together to see the difference. Even now when I hear a toddler chatting away a part of me still feels sad that DS was never able to do that. Then comes the guilt! I'm constantly feeling that I should have done something earlier (even though we did bring it up when he was told but were told to just wait and keep an eye on it), should have pushed more etc.
Yes all the well meaning 'helpful' comments too. My favourites include, oh he'll be fine, he's just a boy.
We had no concerns with DS hearing either but we had a test to rule it out. As suspected he didn't have any hearing issues but I was glad that we had found out for sure.

atthestrokeoftwelve Mon 07-Apr-14 08:09:09

I sympathise. My first child was 3 years old before he said his first word, my second was 3.5 years.
They are now teenagers and speech is completely normal- in fact my DS is chair of the school debating society.

Notnigella33 Mon 07-Apr-14 09:41:44

Jaybird, it was and it wasnt! He didnt ever pass all his newborn hearing tests so we kind of knew something was up. We think now that he had glue ear on and off pretty much from the early weeks of his little life, but he didnt get to having grommits til his second birthday. The hearing tests they do at this age are so tricky, as a lot of it relies on them understanding what they are being asked to do and reacting to sounds. After his grommits operation, the first hearing test showed little improvement and we were all set to get hearing aids, then six weeks later when they repeated the tests all was improved and virtually hearing at a normal level. But throughout the time he had glue ear, his understanding was good and I felt he was hearing me. It is good to rule it out I think. Ds also didnt get lots of ear infections, just lots of colds and congestion.
I have been signing a few things to him for about 18months now, and only recently has he started doing them back! Mainly please and thank you, but he has his own made up signs for yes and no too.

He is about to start doing two mornings a week at ds1's pre school after easter, and has got FEET funding due to his previous hearing issues and speech and language delay. If we dont start to see some improvement int ge next few months, im considering using a private speech and language therapist - has anyone else explored this route?

Lovely to have a place to discuss all this! Thank you smile

jaybirdsinginginthedeadofnight Mon 07-Apr-14 10:01:27

Yes, I'm glad I started this thread I was going to wait until she had seen SALT but I needed somewhere to discuss this DH is so positive he's the half full glass to my half empty one smile But, I feel if something needs done early intervention can only help?

DD will be starting nursery in June when I go back to work (currently off on maternity with DS 61/2months) and I feel this may be a big help to her (hopefully). A friend suggested watching 'something special' on ceebeebies, anyone seen this? Although DD is a Mickey addict she watches 3 times a day so an hour total dunno if more screen time is the way to go!

I'm pretty sure she understands a lot - she plays a game on the iPad where 3-4 shapes appear and the voice will say 'tap the square' she gets it right first time every time, so either she can read (as the instruction is written on the screen too) or she understands what word goes with what shape.

Paintyfingers Mon 07-Apr-14 10:03:50

Great idea for a thread. We have been there too and DS is catching up now. It takes two to talk - the Hanen book is an amazing help and really worked for us to help us help DS. Wimslow Press is the cheapest place to get it.

ShoeWhore Mon 07-Apr-14 10:07:57

jaybird just wanted to say you are right to check this out. I had so many people telling me ds was fine and in hindsight I wish I had ignored them and listened to my own instincts sooner.

Definitely ask for a hearing check, if only to rule it out. Ds had really quite bad glue ear but is a bright little boy and masked it very well with coping strategies - the only real symptom apart from his speech was he didn't respond if I called him from another room. The other thing I didn't realise is that they can sometimes hear much better in some environments than others. Lots of hard surfaces and background noise make it much harder to hear if you have some hearing loss.

Good luck with it all.

jeee Mon 07-Apr-14 10:11:25

I don't need this thread any more - but a few years ago I would have found it very supportive. My three DDs all had a speech delay - my two youngest were described as having 'severe' speech delays (my DS didn't and was very upset that he didn't get to play games at Speech Therapy!).

My DDs are now good talkers, and are on various G & T registers. They were simply slow to talk. And sometimes a speech delay is simply a speech delay.

My particular favourite line was 'oh, mine were all early talkers. But then I talked to them all the time.' I always want to reply 'so you mean I shouldn't have locked them up in the cupboard under the stairs, a la Harry Potter.'

Best wishes to all on this thread.

Paintyfingers Mon 07-Apr-14 10:11:48

My DS had undx glue ear too - I had to really push for a hearing test.

Jellyandjam Mon 07-Apr-14 12:42:20

It's so nice to hear stories of people who have come out if the other side too, reassuring to know that if will be ok.

I had the best moment a couple if weeks ago when my son was a at a party and was asked his name (which contains two sounds he has struggled with). It was the first time I had seen him tell his name to someone and them say 'oh hi ......' and use his name back to him without me interpreting! I cried!!

I too hate the ' I talked to mine' line - along with how they read to their children and don't let them watch too much tv! I have two children who I did the same things with, one was an early talker (but didn't walk until nearly 2) and the other has struggled.

atthestrokeoftwelve Mon 07-Apr-14 12:49:36

jelly I totally agree with your last point- i read to my babies and spoke a great deal from birth. We love books and we love communicating in our family. The idea that somehow those of us with late talkers are somehow neglecting our children is a bit insulting.

I have had all sorts of bad advice too- one family member suggested that I ignore my DD until she could ask for something in words. Very cruel to a child who is physically unable to speak.
We got there in the end though. Don't give up, a late strart is no guarantee of final result. My son is on the talented and gifted register and is an etremely eloquent tenager, despite not talking until three.

DontWannaBeObamasElf Mon 07-Apr-14 12:53:55

Hi! My daughter is 16 months old and has no words. She has recently started pointing, albeit sporadically, and can clap up a storm. Still working on waving, she has done it but chooses not to I think.

I've started signing to her and she has a hearing test this week.

She babbles baba wawa ch sh ah and guh sounds. Just at the weekend she walked up to my partner and said "da". She hasn't done it again but I'm hoping it's something. She's under the weather at the moment and spent much of Saturday crying "ow" when she coughed.

DontWannaBeObamasElf Mon 07-Apr-14 12:54:45

Oh and she can shake her head in response to questions, not all the time though.

startwig1982 Mon 07-Apr-14 15:42:05

My ds is 2.9 and has a delay of about 6 months according to Salt.
We have activities to with him to encourage him to put two words together. It's slow but steady progress. He now has about 150 words and is saying things like 'door open' 'mummy read' and 'here it is'.
His non-verbal communication is pretty good but he's far less frustrated now he can say go away!

jaybirdsinginginthedeadofnight Mon 07-Apr-14 17:31:25

Nice to see so many joining smile

I have seen the Hanen book while trawling the Internet with 'non talking 2year old' and getting all sorts of worrying info. But it is quite expensive so I was holding off on ordering it, or maybe I should get it ASAP.

Jellyandjam that certainly was a heart warming moment DS saying his name grin. I think if DD spoke I would do cartwheels, or cry hysterically, or collapse! Maybe all three in that order!!

Elf we have lots of head shaking here too. But she won't nod for yes. I see why the ceebeebies programme was recommended to me, though unless mr tumble is inviting Mickey Mouse round for tea any time soon DD won't watch it. I have memorised a few of the makaton signs and will see if I can get her to do any of them........

millimurphy Mon 07-Apr-14 17:37:01

My health visitor has told me that my son isn't talking properlysad. I had no idea - he is 34 months (so nearly 3) and I thought he was fine. But reading through some posts about language and speech it does seem that he quite behind. He understands things but doesn't communicate very well at all. I find it hard to understand a lot of what he says - his words are very unclear (apart from the often repeated ones - like 'mummy', 'daddy' and 'no'!wink).

He has never really been to play groups, doesn't go to nursery as I am a SAHP - so I have never really been in a situation to compare him to others his own age. I am having an assessment this week from my local health visiting team to see what can be done next. I have also recently been told that he is extremely longsighted and must wear glasses (which he is refusing to wear). It seems like one thing after another and I am now really worried. Have a new baby as well - 3 months old - so that isn't helping his one to one time with me.

I just feel like I have failed him already. He has only just started showing interest i books, so I am now reading with him each day. I am also trying to sit down and listen to him more rather than rushing around like a headless chicken trying to catch up on housework. Sorry - very long and rambling. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Paintyfingers Mon 07-Apr-14 18:00:56

Honestly jay it is well worth it - DS doubled his words when we started using it - recommended by our salt. It is around £38 on the Wilmslow press site. Really helped us so much.

Jellyandjam Mon 07-Apr-14 19:02:12

millimurphy you haven't failed at all. It's hard to know when you sve nothing to compare to. I sometimes feel like I've failed my little boy becuase I didn't push hard enough , we shouldn't blame ourselves we are all just doing the best we can.

Your DS is still young. Is the health visitor going yo refer to SALT?

Lots of modelling back correct speech (but not correcting). Also when we were first starting out with DS we were advised to do lots of things like blowing bubbles, blowing whistles/recorders, using straws etc as this helps to build the oral muscles needed for speech.

I'm feeling slightly surreal at the moment. DS just had his regular private therapy session and she said at the end that she thinks did only needs to do another couple of sessions with him. Then after that she'll give me a call in about 6 weeks and see how we are getting on and whether he is generalising to see if she needs to come back of not. I really wasn't expecting this so soon but his progress has been brilliant. I think I've just got used to the idea that he has speech therapy so the thought of him not needing it anymore is very strange!

jaybirdsinginginthedeadofnight Mon 07-Apr-14 20:37:34

millimurphy I know what you mean, but you haven't failed at all! I echo everything Jellyandjam has said. It's great that he's taking an interest in books there are lots of great books out there and the repetition of reading his favourites over and over should help him.

jellyandjam that's great positive news am so pleased for you.

paintyfingers do you have a web address for Wimslow press I couldn't find them?

I have been reading to DD since she was a few months old and generally she now chooses the same few stories for bedtime. I was reading peepo last night, at the end of it I always whisper the last few lines and say 'the end' shhhhh shhhhh. She preempted me after I said the end she did the shhhhh shhhhhh grin. Shhhhh's a word right? I'm taking that as a word grin Could just be a huge fat coincidence though.

jaybirdsinginginthedeadofnight Tue 08-Apr-14 20:47:21

After my excitement from the shhhhhh shhhh she hasn't done it again sad. Although I always say bless you, a-chooooo after she sneezes and I swear she imitated the a-choooooo. Not words yet but something I guess, at least she's making new sounds smile

DontWannaBeObamasElf Tue 08-Apr-14 20:51:09

We've had developments too. She now does a monkey noise but only for her dad!

Jellyandjam Tue 08-Apr-14 21:00:49

Yay for both of your little ones- any new sounds can only be good smile

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