Baby not focusing in faces or objects - very worried!

[LauraRW]

Hello,

I am really worried about my 3 and a half week old baby. Last Wednesday I asked our midwife about if it's normal that he is not focusing in objects or faces (I read in the NHS book 0 to 5 that we should consult this in our checkup) and she seemed very surprised too. She told me to ask the GP and although he said his vision was OK he couldn't explain if it's common this kind of behavior.

I have been reading everywhere that babies get very interested in faces, many times even from birth. My DS, however, seems to avoid looking at me, always turning his head or looking somewhere else. I have also tried to use a bright object but he does the same.

Has anybody had a similar problem or know more about when children start to develop this skill? I know DS is quite young but it's my first baby and I cannot stop thinking it may be something wrong. I am so worried that this is even affecting my relationship with him as I cannot stop examining him and trying to look at me.

Many thanks to all of you!
L

[froken]

My ds was exactly the same, he would avoid looking at faces even when breastfeeding.

He is 9 months and he is lovely and sociable. He started properly looking at faces around 5/6 weeks I think.

Congratulations on the birth of your baby :)

[fruitpastille]

Mine always seemed to look at the corner of the ceiling! They are 7 and 4 now and fine. It's normal to worry but try not to. Congrats on your baby.

[purrpurr]

Ours is nearly 18 weeks and has never done thugs when the NHS/baby books said she would. She was either a week or two behind or ahead, so we saw really good head control and curiosity well before we had reliable smiles. Not sure if that helps or not. It must be too early for there to be any problems surely?

[purrpurr]

things, not thugs, bloody pesky rotten iPhone crapbag

[Meatyfeet]

Please try not to worry, he is still tiny :). My daughters made eye contact well and smiled at around 4-5 weeks but my ds didn't smile properly until 12 weeks and actively avoided eye contact until he was about 4-5 months old! He would go out of his way to not look at you and I did get a bit worried.

However, he is now a very happy, smily and sociable 11 mo :).

[LauraRW]

Thank you very much to all of you for your messages! I thought he may be too young but I have been really worried after speaking with the midwife.

I can see it's going to be difficult but I'll try not to worry

[Lorakk]

Hi Laura, my 3 weeks old baby is the same. I dont think he is focusing on objects or faces They say that by 4 weeks he should be doing it. How is it going with you? What your Gp told you? Probably to wait. There are few reassuring stories here what really helped me. Please let me know about your progress :-)

[LauraRW]

Hi Lora,

I think it's reassuring to hear that other babies are the same. My baby will be 4 weeks tomorrow and although he still doesn't follow objects or faces it seems to start focusing a bit more in our face and black and white objects (still only for a few seconds and many times not very clearly).

The GP said it's quite difficult to know at this age. His eyes seem OK but when he tried to make him follow an object or a light it was not obvious if he was doing it. I spoke also with a pediatrician in Spain (I'm originally from there) and he told me that it's too soon to expect this and many babies start to look at faces and objects at 6-8 weeks. In fact he was surprised I was worried.

Of course reading the NHS guidelines makes me feel still worried as it says that most babies should be doing this but I think I will have to wait.

Can you please let me know how you are doing too? It's really good to hear from somebody with the same experience :-)

[Jojay]

I'm with your spanish doctor - all four mine fitted into his 6-8 wks timetable, and DD was definitely towards the end of that period before she would follow anything. She was 9 weeks when she first smiled, so a bit later than average too.

She's now 2 and a bit and is absolutely fine. She's been a slightly later developer than her twin brother but well within the realms of 'normal', so please don't worry too much yet. I think your MW if expecting a lot from a 4 week old baby.

[LauraRW]

Many thanks for your message, Jojay. I'm even thinking to stop reading the NHS emails. Or even the Internet. It's not easy to be a first parent with all these contradictory information!

[SourSweets]

Just to add, my 3 week old didn't seem interested in faces at all, he never made eye contact and I was also really worried. But now he's nearly 8 weeks and loves looking at faces, makes eye contact for long periods of time, follows moving objects and smiles at me when I come into his line of vision. Your baby will be fine!

[ktef]

Hi Laura, my ds1 was just like this. He never liked looking at faces and instead would look away to the corner of the room. I remember seeing my friends ds who was the same age, when they were nine weeks old, and her ds spent literally the whole time staring me straight in the eyes. Where as my ds spent the while time looking at the corner of the room, and whenever my friend tried to move into his eye line he looked elsewhere. I was so worried! I thought I had the only baby like that!

He is now 7, and is fine, wonderful, normal, and much more tactile than my ds2 (who developed just like the books said and loved eye contact from the first day). Try not to worry. I know it's hard.

[ktef]

He never got into staring at faces by the way, he just wasn't interested, I think faces were a bit overwhelming for him. So try not to spend every day waiting for some magical day when he suddenly becomes interested. It may not happen.

[Lorakk]

Hi laura How are you? My baby is 4 weeks on monday and still the same. May be focusing on faces a bit more ,but not all the time. And I am not 100% whether he is actually looking at us. He doesnt follow objects as well. My mom is checking him everyday. I think 6 weeks is important date so will wait for it. How is your baby otherwise? Mine is crying a lot due to wind, colics, reflux Doesnt sleep properly so I am pretty exausted. May be this is why he is a bit slow in development

[LauraRW]

Hi Lora,

My baby is still the same too. I'm not sure if he is focusing on our faces or looking at objects although it seems he does it sometimes. He also cries quite a lot, specially in the evenings, and it seems that the only things that calms him is to be breastfed

He has been sleeping quite bad too and since last week it was very difficult to make him sleep in his cot. Finally a couple of days ago I gave up and co-slept with him in my bed. I was very worry because it is not recommended but it worked so well... he only got up three times during the night and I could breastfed him meanwhile we were lying down. As it was so successful I did it again yesterday and again it was really good. I have found some useful information about sleeping patterns and co-sleep safely (www.parentingscience.com/newborn-sleep.html) but still not totally sure if I will carry on doing it.

How is your baby now? It seems our problems (maybe of other 3-4 week old babies?) are pretty similar

[LauraRW]

SourSweets, ktef, thanks so much for sharing your experiences. It helps so much!

[Lorakk]

Hi laura All the same with us. When is your baby check with gp? Its about 8weeks in our area. we are seeing midwife next week but I dont think she will tell us any different. Its awful ,waoting for these milestones to happen. I had difficult pregnancy with high risk screening for down and was very stressed till birth. Then relieved after birth as he doesnt have this condition. But now the worry continues about new things. :-)

[LauraRW]

Hi Lora, My GP appointment is at 6 weeks. I would appreciate if you let me know if the midwife says something interesting about this to you. I will do the same if I discover something new...

[Lorakk]

Hi will do :-)

[IwannaSleep]

I have twin boys , one was focusing and smiling very early the other sounds like yours. Wouldn't look at you, he always seemed to look up to the roof. He was really ill in hospital at 12 weeks for something unrelated and they got an opthamologist to look at him he wouldn't follow any lights or track any objects. The structure of his eye was perfect so the diagnosed him as DVM , delayed visual maturation , they said the font worry until about 20weeks. By 14 weeks he was tracking objects and smiling and is catching up with twin brother. No harm to get it checked and be o. The system.

[Lorakk]

Hi midwife saw us yesterday but didnt suggest much. I know that it would be, wait for now and then see gp. So waiting for now :-)

[Kiwikiss1]

My baby was the same at this age, he just cried and screamed most of the time! He is now a smiling, charming little 8 month old. He did not weight bear on his legs until 6 months and the NHS guidelines said this should happen at 2 months (I freaked). Again he is doing fine now. Three weeks is so young, he will be fine xx.

[Lorakk]

Thanks kiwikiss Its very reassuring

[AngryAndLost]

In my husband's culture it says baby starts focusing at 40 days old. Both of my children started at about that mark. Don't worry, he is still too young.