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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

Why has my 5yr old turned into the child from hell.....

40 replies

QueenOfQuotes · 21/09/2005 20:03

since starting school?? He goes in happily, comes out happily and tells me all about his day and who he's played with.

But once we get home he's suddenly become really naughty, he's been playing with our mobile phones (never done it before), playing with the home phone (thankfully have DH's work number on my mobile or I'd be stuffed as he's managed to delete it from the landline). He's poo-ed in his pants TWICE today (ok so we only got that bit of potty training sorted around Easter), is being rude, answering back, he got his little scissors out of his crayola set and cut up some 'ribbon' I had in the drawer, encouragin and helping his brother to climb on the piano and empty the top of the piano over the floor, is deliberately trying to hurt his brother, arghh the list is endless.

He's been there 2 weeks now, and in the last week/5 days has turned into a nightmare. I know they say that they often change once they start school, but this dramatically I simply didn't expect. It's driving me mad, especially as DH works afternoons/evenings so I'm getting all of it myself ATM.

It wouldn't be so bad if his brother wasn't now starting to copy him too

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LadyTophamHatt · 21/09/2005 20:16

Ignoring the poo I'd say welcome to my world.

It doesn't get any better either.

QueenOfQuotes · 21/09/2005 20:18

I can't even say he's learned it from the other kids, as the ones he plays with are really well behaved. and chatting outside with the other mum's today they looked really suprised that he'd got so bad, so quickly .

I guess he was already answering back over the summer, but it's just overnight he seems to have changed - and tbh I don't like him like this at all. Doesn't help he's the one I've always found hardest to 'bond' with.

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Eaney · 21/09/2005 20:19

Aha someone else. My DS is 5 and this is hi ssecond year at school. He always seems to be in a bad mood at home, cheeky and rude being the main things. In desperation I started a money Jar and drew up a list of things that were going to cost him a coin. Being really helpfull he suggested that I put in the list something about his bad moods after school.

He was being quite reflective so I asked him why he got into a bad mood after school and he said he didn't know. He said it came over him when he sat down to wait for me. I thought it might be tiredness or maybe he would prefer to stay at school but I don't really know.

Do you find the mood/behaviour improves as the evening progresses? Anyway the money jar has helped.

QueenOfQuotes · 21/09/2005 20:21

Eaney - he's only just turned 5, so is in reception atm and only part time (afternoons). He's like it in the mornings, and just gets worse once he's home from school - by bedtime I can't wait to see the back of him ATM - which sounds awful but it's true

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Lonelymum · 21/09/2005 20:25

I would put this down to tiredness. I recognise it from when my sons atarted school. It doesn't last long but it may well recur when he goes into Year One and the playing gives way to more formal work.

QueenOfQuotes · 21/09/2005 20:26

but in the mornings??? He's only there for 2hrs in the afternoons - and is more lively after school than he ever was after nursery!

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Eaney · 21/09/2005 20:30

I suppose it could be some sort of expression of stress. I know for example my DS's teacher is very strict and perhaps he is angry with me for sending him to school but overall he does seem to enjoy it. He loves playing with his friends, he loves to learn but I think he is finding it difficult to adjust to the discipline.

They probably have a love/hate relationship with school.

Kaz33 · 21/09/2005 20:38

My just turned 4 year old, also started reception is the same. Screaming, shouting, refusing to have conversations but just talking gibberish, stacks of disobedience, rude, back chat, hurting his little brother. AAArgh.

That very annoying Stephen Biddulph books - raising boys suggests that they get a testerone hit at about age 4. Maybe his has just come a bit later. It also says that after a few months it calms down and the testerone drops back by half.

Interested in other peoples observations - or maybe we are all just terrible mums

QueenOfQuotes · 21/09/2005 20:39

"or maybe we are all just terrible mums"

Feel like it at the moment

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cod · 21/09/2005 20:40

Message withdrawn

cod · 21/09/2005 20:40

Message withdrawn

fqueenzebra · 21/09/2005 20:40

They have to be so "good" at school, you get all the naughtiness at home.

Lonelymum · 21/09/2005 20:41

My ds1 only went in the mornings until Easter and he was still like a bear with a sore head most days. Maybe it is not so much the hours they are doing but the strangeness of the environment and the mental stress.

Fio2 · 21/09/2005 20:41

think mine has had a testosterone hit earlier
he is a little shit (mind you he is almost nearly 4 in a few eeks)

QueenOfQuotes · 21/09/2005 20:42

zebra - his nursery were quite 'strict' when it came to rules - and certianly more strict compared to his school (I know I sit in my back garden listening to them play LOL).

COD - I can't send him to bed early, there's simply no way it can be done, unless I want his brother waking him up at 5.30am - and making him even more tired. He already sleeps 12-13hrs a night as it is !

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Eaney · 21/09/2005 20:46

The thing with my DS is when he is of school he can't wait to get back to it. Makes me think it's something I'm doing.

QueenOfQuotes · 21/09/2005 20:48

Had to take DS's with me into the school on Monday morning as I was playing the piano for assembly. He was severely gutted that he 'went' to school without his school uniform, and then didn't get to stay LOL.

He's been in there more times than most of the kids in reception, as I've done other bits of playing for them. And he knows 5 members of staff very well from church, including the classroom assistant for his class. So I can't really blame it too much on 'strange' surroundings.

Just hope that it doesn't last too long as it's making me feel really sh(tty.

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bunny2 · 21/09/2005 22:22

QOQ, I had to reply though I am off to bed. My ds sounds so much like yours except he has pooed his way through 3 pairs of pants today. I have just had a big row with dh about him . My ds is lovely at school but when he comes home he hits me and tells me he wishes I were dead, head-butts his 20 motnh old baby sister and pooes in his pants. I cant stand it any longer. He is so bloody defiant - he wont do a thing I ask. God, I am pissed off with him. If you find a solution, let me know.

sausagedog · 21/09/2005 23:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

butty · 22/09/2005 09:45

Sausagedog, how long has your son been like this for?
How are the teachers dealing with him in class regarding the violence?
Do not feel bad with yourself, and do not feel ashamed, it's not your fault.
Do you think that he is adjusting to new structure and routine.
If the problem persists, then maybe worth while going to see your GP, and also having school monitor his behaviour for you whilst their, it could be a settling in period for him and things could be different when he's starts full time.
I hope that things work out for you.
Good luck, Butty.xxx

CeeTee · 22/09/2005 12:36

QoQ & Eaney,
My child is doing the same things, fighting his brother, swearing, not listening & just doing things he should not be doing (& knows it)...right now I am trying the money thing that Eaney talked about. I think perhaps they are so structured at school, they need the constant attention and/or something to do.
As a mom of 2(or more) there is so much we can do, along with laundry, dishes, work...etc
Maybe we should make a chart & when they misbehave or not listen or hit they get a frowny face for that day & take a quarter away.
When they get a smiley face they have earned a quarter. I will be trying this out next week, I'll fill ya'll in on how it goes.
Until then I wish ya'll the best of luck.

QueenOfQuotes · 22/09/2005 12:37

I'd love to do the money thing - but don't have any money to use

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CeeTee · 22/09/2005 12:43

Try what he already has, take a toy away for misbehaving, for good behavior treat him to an outdoor picnic.
I think the chart itself may help because then it will give them a sence of accomplishment to see the smiley faces....Good Luck!

QueenOfQuotes · 22/09/2005 12:47

I'll try it, not holding out much hope, we tried the chart/toy thing for him pooing in his pants and other stuff which he's done in the past. He pulled the last chart off the wall (because he was bored of it and his brother wanted to play with it ) and it got ripped into shreds.

Think I'm just going to have to 'bear it out' and hope he calms down.

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QueenOfQuotes · 22/09/2005 12:47

oh and he's got so many toys I don't think he'd actually miss any of them - I hasten to add, we've only ever bought him about 10 toys in his entire life, but we've had LOADS given to us LOL.

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