My 15mo doesn't seem to understand anything...

[musicmaiden]

My DS is 15.5mo - I realise this is still fairly young on the grand scale of things. If I had never read anything about development I probably wouldn't be especially concerned but I have read lots so I am...

I am not worried about his milestones per se, the main thing I am fretting about is that I just don't think he understands us. He has been diagnosed with a bit of glue ear which probably doesn't help, but he doesn't seem to respond to words, questions, choices, etc. He often doesn't respond to his name (sometimes he does look round, but I am not sure how much of that is tone of voice rather than the word IYSWIM). If I said 'get your boat/train/cup' he wouldn't do it or show any understanding.


a quick rundown of his development

• he has stuck his tongue out pretty much constantly since birth. Everyone comments on it but no one has ever thought it was an issue, although I have always worried about it a bit. He has good control over it, can put it back in plenty, we never had any issues with bf etc. He does seem to stick it out rather less now.
  

• he is not yet walking but is an excellent crawler, climber, shelf-fiddler etc.
  

• he has not yet come out with any words but he babbles lots and lots. Plenty of mamama and dadada and bababa but not necessarily to/about the right people. He looks very happy and pleased with himself while babbling though.
  

• he is very smiley, makes plenty of eye contact, is extremely affectionate, can clap and wave and touch his hands to his head. He plays well alongside other kids and with us, and is certainly not happier left to his own devices, the opposite if anything.
  

• he doesn't point and can't (always) follow a point at all. If he sees animals or anything like that he looks at them and takes it all in but doesn't get excited or anything.
  

• he is a terrible eater, very fussy, frequently refuses food both at home and at nursery and has done since I started weaning.
  

• he goes to nursery 3 days a week where he has been fine except the eating thing.
  

• he is a terrific sleeper both at naptime and night-time.
  

...So, what do people think? I am right to worry, or will it just 'come'?

Thanks for all and every comment - sorry it's so long!

[belindarose]

Perhaps the glue ear has affected him more than first thought? If he's missed out on early hearing then it would make sense that understanding might be a little delayed. I would see the GP (or HV if yours is any good). He sounds a lovely boy.

[eldritch]

I am not an expert but this sounds pretty much normal to me. My DS is a little younger (14.5 months) but quite similar to yours I think - late walker, babbling but not "talking" as such (i.e. no meaning attached to the noises I don't think), doesn't fetch named objects (some other children I know can do this already and I was a wee bit envious I admit!). There is a huge range of what's normal, and he sounds OK to me. Have you asked your HV/GP?

[musicmaiden]

I am seeing a HV (or paed nurse, not sure if there's a difference) in a couple of weeks after another HV I saw said he should be responding to a simple command or two.

Eldritch - does your DS point, or follow your point?

Thanks Belinda, he is lovely. Hard work too, but aren't they all.

Bumping for the evening crowd...?

[girliefriend]

Hello does he get tired quite eaisly? Does he have many meltdowns through frustration? My dd had quite bad glue ear but it wasn't picked up until she was 2 and a bit, she also had very large adenoids and tonsills. Does he snore? If the adenoids and tonsills are very big that maybe why his tongue is out so much as it makes it eaiser for him to breathe. Has he had an ent referrel? It may be worth thinking about a speech and language ref as it wouldn't do any harm and might give you some good advice. My dd now 4 has had 2 lots of gromits and recently her tonsils and adenoids out. The op itself was traumatic but the difference in her now is amazing, no more constant tiredness, throat infections, meltdowns..... its fab!

[minimisa]

my twins don't really do all this sort of thing either and are a tiny bit older. Neither do they pay much attention if I take them to music etc although they have just got into books. They are extremely physical and I think it's just that they are too preoccupied by running around, throwing things about etc. so am trying not to worry!

[monkeyflippers]

He sounds perfectly normal to me. They vary so much and it's normal to worry and compare their development but they will do things only when they are ready (and sometimes are ready and understand but choose not to do things). They all also have their own weird little ways and habits. Don't worry :)

[musicmaiden]

Thank you all!

Girliefriend - yes he does snore and he seems to have had a runny nose forever, too (but so does his father). Did they do the 'wait and see' thing for ages before they operated? Did your DD have any understanding/speech delay from it?

Minimisa/monkeyflippers - thanks so much, I hope you are right!

Smallwhitecat - I did read pointing was a key marker. I will see what the paed nurse says in 2 weeks before hassling you but thanks so much for saying I can email you. Was there any other sign your DS had ASD beyond the pointing at that age? You had an early diagnosis which is good... what help do you have now?

[girliefriend]

Hello again, he does sound like my dd as she also had constant runny nose/ congestion. I would ask for an ENT ref now through gp or hv and they should keep reviewing every 6 months or so. They held off for ages before operating on my dd as they said they perfer to leave the adeniotonsillectomy until they are bigger because of the risk of bleeding.But she got her first gromits when she was about 2.6yrs. Long term I don't think she will have any problems but yes her speech has been affected/delayed. And we had a lot of behavioural problems through not understanding what was being said to her. The difference now is unbelievable and she is catching up so quickly

[willowthecat]

I think you need to get a full developmental assessment to get an answer - some of the things you mentioned do need to be looked at - it's never too young if you have doubts. You may have to push to get seen though as professionals tend to fob you off. The glue ear could be making things worse but should not normally stop pointing and shared attention developing.

[willowthecat]

I had no idea my ds was so far behind at 15 months - I believed all the fairy tales about everyone 'catching up in the end' and I did not pay enough attention to developmental milestones and there was never any shortage of people assuring me that they 'did not matter'. Having said that, your story may still turn out very differently but wait and see is terrible advice.

[willowthecat]

Will he spontaneously imitate you ?

[willowthecat]

I had the feeling that the professionals (possible exception of HV) knew something was very wrong but it was not their place in the system to tell me - just to pass me on for yet more far distant appointments.

[musicmaiden]

Thanks all for your continued input.

Girliefriend - that's great about your DD. I imagined they would wait quite a long time before doing anything for DS's glue ear as he's still too young for ops and the like. I really feel for him though as all the congestion/streaming is causing him difficulties with his breathing at night.

LeonieDelt, smallwhitecat and willowthecat - thanks, as you can probably tell I am wondering about ASD specifically.

The flicking through books thing is interesting, if we open a book together sometimes he will look at it and let me read it to him but that's rare, he much prefers handling it and flicking through pages randomly himself. His attention is held longer if there are touchy bits or flaps to lift etc, which he will do. I just assumed that he hadn't quite 'got' books yet, he is super-active at present and not that interested in sitting still for long, iykwim.

He seemed to point at himself in the mirror the other day and possibly point at something in a book but not what I would call a decisive point in either case...

He never imitated anything at all until he was over a year, willowthecat, now he suddenly does imitate us a bit, but only in terms of waving, clapping, hands on head, raising hands in air in pseudo-cheer, etc. Has never copied either our words or our facial expressions, if we pull a silly face at him he just laughs (fair enough :))

It doesn't sound brilliant, does it. I am trying not to get upset...

[willowthecat]

Basic imitation at 15 months is a good sign really - try to encourage him to do more - to copy your actions, to imitate with objects, to build a tower like you are building - anything you can find around the house really. Just keep finding ways to make him copy what you are doing.

[larrygrylls]

Musicmaiden,

I am far from an expert but he sounds pretty normal to me.

I think it is important to comment on what he CAN do already:

He crawls well (decent motor skills)
He climbs well (ditto)
He babbles (he is clearly getting to grips with syntax despite his glue ear)
He smiles and makes eye contact (he does not appear to have autism issues).
He plays well with other children (as above).
He enjoys books. I don't think many 15.5 months sit still whole books, especially boys.

Has the nursey suggested he has development issues?

By all means, get him checked out? However, he sounds well within the normal spectrum to me.

[musicmaiden]

I am interested in the food thing, Leonie. Is the gagging/spitting/refusing a recognised part of ASD?

DS is a TERRIBLE eater, he is living on cheese on toast at the moment, I'm finding it stressful.

[lljkk]

DS2 didn't point until 16 months, never interested in books until he was more than 2.5yo. He's got behaviour problems, but definitely not ASD (now 6yo). DS2 had speech delay (DS3 has speech delay, too, and is also my fussiest eater -- so ridiculous!). I can't recall what their oral comprehension was like at 15 months, but probably poor.

So I think what you describe could still be well within the normal spectrum OP. It may be helpful to you to carefully investigate things suggested, but I wouldn't be surprised if you found your DS was entirely "normal" by 2-4yo.