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Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Baby names

oh, crap. think we've guven dd the wrong name. or poss just sleep-deprived fretting....

29 replies

phdlife · 18/05/2009 20:14

ever since forever, dh and i wanted to name a dd M. But when I was 37 weeks and we were looking for boy names I found the name A for a girl, and thought, that's it. dh liked the name but tbh we were so wound up about boys' names we didn't really have a proper convo about it.

When they asked us in hospital, dh said, you tell them, and I said A, so A she has been fpr 5 weeks now.

But from 1 week on I have intermittently thought she should've been M, mostly when i am stupidly tired (as now!). Partly I don't like that A seems to be more common than i thought. Partly it suddenly seems to me that A's are blonde, which dd never will be, amd M's are dark. Partly i feel i cheated dh out of using his fave name at last.

soon as i began worrying I talked to him about it and he said we could tack M on as a second middle name, so then we could use it if we wanted. but I don't see that we would. If she was going to be called M which is no shorter and sounds similar to A, rhen why nit just name her M?

dh thought after 1 week it;d be too weird to say we'd changed our minds and part of me agrees. but part of me has a weird superstitious conviction that Names Matter and it's important to get it right. how do i do that when my brain is fried? wwyd?

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tigana · 18/05/2009 20:18

My sister was called by her middle name until she decided in secondary school to go by her first name. Family call her by her middle name, all her friends call her by second. She survives.

FIL and his 2 brothers are all called by their middle names ( their mother gave in to family pressure with 1st names, chose the middle names she liked...then called them by middlenames )

does any of that help at all..?

thisisyesterday · 18/05/2009 20:19

i don't think it's a problem to change her name now if you want to.

decide which one you really, really want and then change it if it's M

MmeLindt · 18/05/2009 20:22

Change it now if you really are unhappy with it, before it gets really difficult.

Isn't there a time period after the birth that you are allowed to vhange the name? A year or 6 months? Sure I read that somewhere

MoChan · 18/05/2009 20:29

You must change it if you're not happy with it. That's all I really have to say. You have to be happy with it.

oooggs · 18/05/2009 20:30

oh phd, has she been registered? how easy is it to change to name over there?

You must be tired (I know I am!!)

How are things apart from this?

pellmell · 18/05/2009 20:33

my name was changed the day befor my first birthday (so glad because the original was shocking)
My birth certificate and all subsequent forms like marriage certificate state
".... formerly known as ...."

myredcardigan · 18/05/2009 20:37

Not sure where you are but if you're in the UK, you have a year during which you can officially change it on the birth certificate and register. I'd change it IIWY otherwise you'll always regret it. She is only 5wks. Doit now!

suwoo · 18/05/2009 20:39

But you must tell us the names though

seeker · 18/05/2009 20:41

Pellmell - PLEASE tell us the 'shocking" one!

georgimama · 18/05/2009 20:41

Before you rush down the registry office though, practice at home. Call her M for a week, refer to her as M when discussing her (with each other). Does it sound "right"?

I always thought I would call a little boy Oliver (I still love that name). DS is called George. It is his name, not the name of some hypothetical child I never had. Does that make any sense?

Bobblebuddy · 18/05/2009 21:02

Go with what suits her - is one more delicate than the other, or more studious and the other more fun, or is one quiet and the other outgoing? might sound ridiculous, but my dd was delicate and graceful and studious from the minute she was born - all prim little mouth and chin and dainty outstretched fingers, and we chose her name based on that, and 2.3 yrs on, it suits her down to the ground. it is a v unusual name, and WE took a little time to settle into it, but SHE fit it like a glove from day 1.

it has to 'feel' right for your dc - regardless of whether it is dh's fave name or the name of some long lost auntie. it will be your dc's name for life, so the most important thing is that it reflects them.

suwoo · 18/05/2009 21:09

Nice story and interesting perspective Bobblebuddy.

PolkSaladLucie · 18/05/2009 21:24

I had a similar thing, we had a name that we had pretty much agreed on, but it was only when loads of our friends and families started refering to my bump by the name did I doubt it (in case she didn't suit the name) so spent the last month of pregnancy thinking about new names, and in the end went back to the first name! Took a week after she was born to decide, and then we took ages to register, just in case!

Hope you get this sorted, and that you're enjoying you're little lady, whatever her name is!

LilRedWG · 18/05/2009 21:27

It does have to feel right for your DD and if you and DH want to change then do it! FWIW - I like the A name . email me the M name and I can judge fully and make the final decision. ;)

Bobblebuddy · 18/05/2009 22:09

well thank you, suwoo

i think it is very important to chose a name that suits the baby. i don't understand it when parents decide on the name of their baby before they are even born - before they have even met them! good to have a shortlist, but the final decision has to be based on who they are, i think.

i wish i knew what the A and M stood for, but i'm sure they are both lovely

Juwesm · 18/05/2009 22:20

Whatever you decide (and I think to go with the one you love the most, even if that means changing it now - if she feels like M to you, go with M ), come along here and update us, as at the moment she's still called TBA!

PaulaYatesBiggestFan · 18/05/2009 22:24

phdlife we have done this wih ds

before 12 moths they amend birth cert to say known as...

short birth cert however will just have new name

no one cared with ds and i am very glad we did it

pellmell · 18/05/2009 22:27

seeker.....I was hoping no-one would ask!!!!
would say but could possibly out myself if I do.

KristinaM · 18/05/2009 22:30

oh go on tell us

pellmell · 18/05/2009 22:47

No!

ryhmes with Nanny
JOKE!!!!!!!!

KristinaM · 18/05/2009 22:58

yeah, right

phdlife · 19/05/2009 00:48

thank you all. thing is I do think she's more of an M than an A, something to do with the shape of her eyes (daft as that sounds!). In fact I have called her M a few times by accident, that's what makes me think it should be changed. will bring it up with dh again. lordy, if he thought changing at 1 week was too hard...

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alarkaspree · 19/05/2009 04:05

I know two people who changed their dcs' names after several months. People probably thought it was strange for a couple of weeks and then forgot what the original name had been. Change it if you want to, it will be FINE.

LilRedWG · 19/05/2009 15:10

Go for it - M suits her, you are right. A is nice too though......

EachPeachPearMum · 19/05/2009 22:43

You have up until 12 months to change it, so don't worry...
but if the A name is what I think it is.... I know a dark one, and it is my favourite girls name

Flip

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