to not want to buy my kids material possessions?

[harimo]

Well, that's it...

I don't want my (pre-school) kids to have designer wardrobes. I'm quite happy to dress them from Sainsburies or M&Co (who I love!) or Ebay or Oxfam....

Don't get me wrong, they are VERY well dressed, just I buy the essentitals from tescos or sainsburies or M&co and then a few 'nicer' items from Ebay or Oxfam (and, yes, I look every week, just in case!)

I just want to be able to spend my disposable income (which I am lucky to have) on experiences with them - take them on days out, go and see Thomas the Tank Engine, or Peppa Pig Live. or, even, a savings account - cos I'm sure they'd prefer designer clothes when they were 20 not 2.

These things are, to me, more important that always being in designer clothes. And, If IANBU, then why do I feel down that someone had a pop at me today for shopping in Oxfam

[SixtyFootDoll]

YANBU

And the person that had a pop at you, can pop off really.

[harimo]

Thanks... I just needed to hear that.

I'm just regretting not having said the above to my 'friend'

[AngryWasp]

What's M&Co?

[mummychicken]

My DS wears 2nd hand nearly all the time (although I had to buy a new pair of trousers the other day as when he went for a wee-wee his doodle "wasn't down" and he weed all over his trousers).

I agree with you - time doing things is more important than some piece of cloth that won't fit in 6 months time. Also, if the clothes get wrecked it doesn't matter - kids shouldn't be concerned about playing football in designer jeans.

You should have told who ever it was to poke off!

[luciemule]

YANBU at all!
I had a lovely time this afternoon looking at the new Oxfam vintage section on their website: some gorgeous bits and a beautiful 1950's yellow dress. I buy my kids' clothes' as cheaply as I can as I too, want to have more disposable income for other things like riding lessons for dd and swimming for ds. If people are that shallow as to have a go at you, just laugh at them (in your head).

[AngryWasp]

TBH I find Oxfam more expensive than the shops.

[GypsyMoth]

ebay can be expensive too,with postage costs!

[harimo]

M&co

I find their items (other than the slogan t-shirts for the boys which are to be avoided) very hardwearing, easy to wash and reasonably in fashion (DD has jeggings and she is 8 Months old!!)

[AngryWasp]

Ooooh, a little bit pricy but can see they do sales/price drops etc. Have to look into it. Thanks.

[oldandknackered]

The majority of DS2's clothing is picked up at car boot sales for less than £1 an item... and sometimes we manage to buy designer stuff at similar prices too!
I find charity shops are twice the price!
The money we save is also spent on day trips and activities that we enjoy together.
DS2 is almost three years old and really doesn't give a monkeys what brand of jeans he wears! Mind you, I get my sister to pick up cute, little Wrangler carpenters for him in Walmart at $7 a pair!
Don't worry what other people think of you shopping in Oxfam, it's really none of their business.

[chandellina]

i think YABU to bother posting this. If someone has a pop at you for shopping at Oxfam, they are ridiculous. Does anyone really believe children of 2 SHOULD be in designer clothes?

[harimo]

Our Oxfam are no cheaper than Tescos, but you can get some really lovely designer pieces there (and I'm really good and give it al back to them when my kids have grown out of it!)

Ebay is good, as long as you can collect or the seller isn't being stupid about postage. I'm addicted quite a frequent e-bayer and have got a couple of good people who are listing personal stuff (old kids clothes) rather than running a business.

[DramaInPyjamas]

I've noticed that some charity shops are much more expensive than regular shops as well.

But YANBU. There was a girl, maybe 5, at the park yesterday. Her mum kept telling her off for getting her good clothes dirty and to be careful that she didn't ruin them as they were very expensive. Poor girl was too afraid to play. My two, on the other hand, were covered in mud and grass stains.

[AngryWasp]

We were camping one year CAMPING, and a small boy in the tent next door kept being told off being on the floor. He was dressed from head to toe in white

His mother spent the whole morning screaming at him for getting his clothes dirty and at one point when the frustration got too much for him he ran round the back of their tent and threw himself on the floor and wriggled

Poor child though

[harimo]

Chandellina - yes, I think LOTS of people think kids should wear designer clothes.

I don't think the brands would invest in it otherwise.

My son has Diesel jeans and Boss are launching a range of kids wear soon . River Island just have.

And, I did go through a small obsession with Caramel clothing. God, the prices are HORRIFIC!!

So, in short, yes, I think LOTS of people spend mega bucks on kids clothes.

[junkcollector]

YANBU and slight digression.
I too love M&Co!

I was looking for a dress to wear to a posh wedding last year before christmas. I trawled Oxford Street, Covent Garden and...many other well known shopping destinations. Disheartened I returned home and as I was walking from the station past our local branch of M&Co. I happened to see the BEST DRESS EVER (£30) which fit perfectly and looked ace and everyone, even strangers, came up to me and said how nice my dress was.
(I have now outed myself as I have told everyone I know this story)

As you were.

[Downdog]

I feel the same way as you. I dress my daughter mainly from e-bay. I do buy her some new stuff, and she gets lovely clothes as gifts, but she has the most wicked wardrobe from ebay.

One of the big bonuses for me (apart from being green & very inexpensive) is time - I really don't wasnt to spend my weekends shopping for clothes (or anything else really). So I use the www including ebay to buy stuff, pick up groceries during the week & can therefore have so much more time to spend with DD in the weekends.

Pre-worn clothes are fab - U2 actually pay peopleto wear in thier clothes you know! (or so I read)

The Oxfam comment you received was ignorant & unthinking.

I think having an obsession with dressing kiddies in designer clothes, must be new etc, is rather ridiculous, pointless & snobby.

[Snuppeline]

Its a strange thing, that urge to give your child the best. Unfortunately many confuse that urge with material things like designer clothes. A close family member for instance told me proudly that he had taken up a personal loan to buy his boy a new bike, he said he and his wife didn't want to let their child suffer just because they were tight on money. The thing is, although its nice that they prioritise their child as highly as that I just don't think children who are given lots of nice things all the time reward their parents with gratitude in later life. Mostly they seem to turn into horribly selfish things. With honorable exeptions of course! Sounds to me like you have your priorities in order though

[Downdog]

apologies for dreadful typing!

Just reminded of another reason I love clothes from ebay - DD can wear funky cool stuff and I NEVER have to stress about her getting in a mess when she is being a kid & enjoying herself. She is learning to look after her clothes & stuff, yes, but not to restrain her play in order to protect 'precious' clothes.

[larks35]

I've just posted on another thread about the amount of hand-me-down clothes I get from my family for my DS, and I reckon it has saved me a fortune (shame our finances can't see it). I've bought most of his toys from charity shops and usually return them (if all still working) once he's grown out of them, I kind of use the charity shops as a toy library really.

I do believe that re-using is so much better than recycling and would like to pass that on to my DC, if possible in this "throwaway the old, update to this" world we seem to live in (hoping this recession will curb this trend a little - something good has to come of it)

[Casmama]

If you are unreasonable then I am positively neglectful - Tesco, Asda, Sainsburys, Next to Nothing or Primark. I actually walked out of Gap for kids cos although some of the stuff is lovely, I wouldn't pay over £10 for a babygro.

[LittleSilver]

Can't afford Oxfam, it's bloody extortionate. Not just clothes, books and stuff as well.

[Narabug]

YANBU, definately not! I don't see the point in buying designer clothes for babies, lets put it this way, if I bought designer clothes for myself (which I don't) I wouldn't dream of doing so if I knew they wouldn't fit in three months time!

I love Sainsburys, George, Tesco etc etc, its good stuff (and some of it is soooo cute) and I will have to check out M&Co, and I'm sooooo gonna drop into Oxfam in town this morning, thanks for the idea!

It sounds like you dress your children wonderfully and sensibly, ignore people who say otherwise!!

[Differentfrom]

Yep, Oxfam is probably the most pricey charity shop... kids' books for £1? No chance. Big fan of second hand here, car boots, chaz shops, Ebay, jumble sales (sadly not so many these days) and, best of all, Freecycle!
YA definitely NBU.

[OrmRenewed]

"Our Oxfam are no cheaper than Tescos, but you can get some really lovely designer pieces "

Whilst I sympathise with you OP, this line makes me a bit Isn't the problem with 'designer pieces' of clothing that they are ultimate in pointless materialism?