to be annoyed at a friend 'outing' my (1st trimester) pregnancy on facebook?

[MudandRoses]

I know this is the way of FB and I should learn to accept it. But a friend guessed our news after DP said he had "something exciting to tell them" and then asked me outright whether my status update was related to "the baby in your belly"! I was so annoyed!

I am 10 wks only, I have told some people but most people don't know...I wrote to her explaining why I'd deleted her comment but she hasn't replied..AIBU?

[TrillianAstra]

YANBU

Telling secrets is not 'the way of facebook'.

Yes, if you say something to one perosn in an indiscreet fashion other people can read it, but she shouldn't have been saying things like that at all.

[usualsuspect]

Was your status baby related? was your husbands comment on fb?

[SuSylvester]

face book is for twats

lesson learned

[allaboutme]

if she guessed from your cryptic status update then probably others will too...

[Lulumaam]

if your friend guessed due to your DP posting /saying something and you had posted something cryptic, it is your own fault

something exciting to tell people is always eitehr

pregnancy

or marriage proposal

also, you've told some people, so hardly a top secret

YABU and precious

[MudandRoses]

No the status update was related to half term being shite!! I haven't put anything cryptically hinting at anything, because I think that's a bit cliquey and sneaky, and i'd only have myself to blame if ppl guessed then. It's not a very nice way to find out - i'd rather tell ppl in person!!
suSylvester, you may have a point, but I guess that makes me (and a lot of other people) twats.

[MudandRoses]

oh, and no, DP said that "exciting news" comment to them privately.

[Lulumaam]

your DP is more to blame by telling people he had something exciting to tell them !!

[Lulumaam]

ok, youve told some people you are pregnant, your DP told others you had some exciting news, i hardly think the blame can solely be pinned on your friend and FB!!

[allaboutme]

Your DP really should have said 'we've got some exciting news but its not common knowledge yet so dont tell!'
By telling someone you have exciting news its almost as good as saying 'we are having a baby' and if you have told her then she will not have even thought twice about mentioning it on facebook unless you've specifically said its a secret.

[MudandRoses]

You're probably right. I have told a handful of close friends, and DP has too, so I shouldn't be 'precious' about it. But I just keep thinking of all the people on FB that I didn't necessarily want to know, yet! And it's just nice to tell people face-to-face.

[fedup1981]

YANBU, why don't people use their brains before blurting stuff like that out? it wasn't her place to tell anyone.

I was annoyed with my mil, from the very moment we told her (on the phone) that I was pg she immediately went on facebook and said I was pg in her status so everybody knew before we could tell them, like it was her news.

Then when we found out the gender, she insisted that we call her from the hospital to let her know, then by the time we'd driven home she'd told everyone on facebook what we were having. I'd have liked to tell my family and friends myself, thanks...

Think I'll let facebook know when I've had the baby, THEN phone her, she how she likes it.

[MudandRoses]

OMG fedup she sounds like a nightmare! How obtuse not to see that she was totally stealing your thunder. That is really inappropriate. And thoughtless too - there's a reason people don't tell the world before the first trimester's up.

[Rockbird]

I use FB a lot and I also manage to use my common sense. I wanted to put up some photos of DD as a flower girl at SIL's wedding but I held off till SIL was back and could upload her own photos of her wedding. I have half a dozen friends who I know are pg but others don't and so I know not to mention it on FB. It's not my secret to blab.

People who blab on FB are usually blabbers in RL as well, they've just found a wider audience. Not much you can do but I'd be peed off.

[toodleypip]

YANBU, it's irritating that everything has to be announced on FB these days. I have family in another country, including siblings, I'd be mortified if a friend mentioned it on there before I'd told them.

In fact this is the very reason I haven't been able to tell my best friend yet although I'm dying to, as her other half is a Facebook addict and I just know 'subtle' hints will be made before we've told everyone else. My MIL would be livid if she found the news out second hand, and rightly so.

Just one more thing to have to think about isn't it? How do I get away with not drinking? How do I keep this away from Facebook?!!

[Jamieandhismagictorch]

These FB stories put me right off. The fact is, you are putting your life on show to people who may not have the wits and sensitivity to know what is socially appropriate.

< check out my status >

[RoseWater]

YANBU - your news to tell not theirs

[diddl]

Well, unless you told her not to tell, she perhaps thought it was OK to?

[TheUsefulSuspect]

YABU

your husband is a moron.

[usualsuspect]

oh I have a clone lol

[Jamieandhismagictorch]

TheUsefulSuspect - Eh ? - did you wander in from another thread ?

[MudandRoses]

Theusefulsuspect - he's not my husband, and he's not a moron. It's his prerogative to tell close friends (her husband is one of his close friends) - guess he just misjudged their ability to use appropriate judgement as far as broadcasting it.