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to think the world of my friend but wish she would do something about her dc's behaviour?
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(106 Posts)
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This is a mum friend at school. She has a dd in my dd's class. We have been friends for about 4 years.
I like her a lot BUT her children are just not nice to be around (sorry). She is spectacularly bad at correcting behaviour that any reasonable person would think unacceptable. Atm I need to speak to her quickly most days after school but, during this conversation, her children will interrupt, pull on her sleeve, moan and whine ... and she ALWAYS stops what she is saying to me and responds to the child, usually with "sorry darling" etc.
Today her eldest dd (8 y/o) just baldly said "Mum, I'm bored, I want to go" and so we had to end our conversation so that she could scuttle off home.
What is wrong with saying to your child "I just need to speak to bibbity for two minutes, please be patient and don't interrupt again".
I am going to have to start texting her about things cos I nearly snapped at her dd today and it really wound me up
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bibbity. Don't feel bad. It was a perfectly reasonable post. because it is bloody annoying - the combination of rude children and weak parents who disrespect the adult they are talking to by apologising to their children for talking to someone else.
And I daresay if you ignore enough parent's overtures outside the school gate they will soon get the message and stop trying to be friendly and organise stuff with your kids. Ooh, yes, that's a parenting job well done.
My oldest ds is almost 5. He knows that if Im talking to someone else and he would like to say something he needs to say 'excuse me mummy' and I will then then in turn respond while the friend who Im talking to also listens to him hopefully without being offended by his good manners
I know adults with less manners than the kids in the op. We all need to respect each other and teach children how to do the same. But at that time of day, its too hectic for me to have a decent conversation with anyone let alone organise an event.
Actually, shouldn't have posted, am logging off now so going to disappear and I wouldn't want anyone thinking I am rude.
Night all.
Sorry Anna but really. In your world, no adults should speak to other adults in the school playground. Is this actually what you are saying?
MrsGravy - I could give much worse examples of their behaviour but the thread isn't about that.
I never let ds interrupt since he could speak (well, coherently converse I mean!).... he gets told to say "excuse me" and I will respond with "hold on a minute - just finishing" or if we're mid-flow with a lot left to discuss, he can wait a couple of seconds and I'll just say "excuse me a mo" to the other adult and let him say whatever it is (if it's important)
If he forgets, he gets a "stop - I'm talking." and made to wait
He is 7 now and I would fully expect him to wait a few seconds for me to stop chatting and yes, I consider not doing so rude.... and usually he hurtles into the playground with his mates and has to be called to leave so the mums get a few minutes to chat!
Mine is like yours Madame. He likes to chat once he's home (after being to the park
). Sometimes he tells me crucial things when he is in the toilet...
...
Well, my ds would rather have his toenails pulled out than talk about his day straight after school, that comes out over dinner or shared tasks....they are all different!
If you don't want to go the park, arrange another time. I really don't think that school pick up time is adult business time.
IMVHO children tell you the very most interesting things about their day in the very few minutes post pick-up... and this goes on for years - DSS1 (14) and DSS2 (12) still need ears open ASAP...
But BA, you are expecting mothers to then go and join others to socialise in the park...that is not going to work for everyone...sometimes you do just have to have that conversation outside the schoolgates...
And I don't get the specialness of that just after pick up time, its not sacred. If I have a quick chat with a mum then whisk ds off home, I don't think he will be scarred for life.
If I am expected to join in some herd activity in a park in order to arrange a playdate, I would feel coerced and managed. who is to say that is convenient for every mum or carer? It makes gross assumptions about what "should' be done socially, even worse that demanding ones child is polite.
Kinda, join us in the park, or be an outcast. Bleh!
Whilst I agree that children should be taught not to interrupt adults who are speaking, I think you are being very harsh.
Is this really the worst example of their behaviour you can give??? Children aren't exactly at their best after school, they're tired and want to get home, chill out and spend some time with their mum. I don't think it makes them terribly behaved if they're unable to be polite and patient at this time.
Why not just text her as you've suggested?? It would be easier on you all.
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