to want to be xmas organised..

[Doodleydoo]

Am ready to be shot down in flames but here is our situation:

We are (stupidly...)moving house just before christmas and along with all the financial implications etc etc, I am trying to be as organised as possible with getting the christmas gifts for those that we need to get gifts for (i.e family). All the family know this and I have repeatedly asked for "ideas" from them so that I can:

a) ensure I get them something that isn't tat and put in a drawer(therefore not a waste)

b)if I am ordering online (sometimes cheaper) I can ensure delivery to our current address, and that it gives sufficient time for postal delays due to the strike

however NONE of them have come back to me with any ideas at all! Infact some haven't even responded to say they will have a good old think. In the mean time I have my busiest period at work, as does dh, the house move to organise for and my dd birthday to arrange.

I know its a bit silly to post in AIBU but slightly miffed at the amount of time I feel is being wasted (I did ask at the beginning of October so that I could set aside funds, arrange presents if they needed to be ordered!).

How do I hurry them along? It is so much easier getting little gifts for the dd's "friends" - some of whom we get a token gift every year (have found some sweet piggy banks that were £1 and vv nice so not excessive iyswim!)....

Help! Ideas/flames welcomed

[LilyloovesGuyFawkes]

Whilst i understand you are busy i think yabu to expect others to feel your sense of urgency about xmas in October!!!

[paisleyleaf]

I think try and get actual presents for any children (just whatever you think they'd like/any bargains you see etc - can often get ideas on here for good things for different ages)
But the adults can have vouchers or something christmasy - port/cheese/spirits/chocolates/smellies.
You can say, sorry they're not very imaginative this year, we've had a lot on with the move.
They' should be fine with that.

[BLEEPyouYOUbleepingBLEEP]

Perhaps they're embarassed to be asked what they want for Christmas, it's not the easiest question to answer when you're not a child.

Also, they might not be wanting to think about Christmas just yet?

I can see why you want to be organised, but I think I would probably try to sidestep that question if someone asked.

[Firawla]

if they've not said what they want, and you want to get on with buying then just chose what you think is good for them yourself without waiting them to chose an item

[Doodleydoo]

That is kind of what I have been thinking too that I have been super organised when it wasn't christmas time and there were other things on everyones mind, but it is getting closer to xmas now and they have all had the cheek to ask me what my dc wants for xmas without giving me anything to get for their dc. (Maybe cheek is a little strong as am not trying to be difficult just organised!0

What do you reckon to me putting aside x amount per person and leavig it until we've moved? Its just I know what the family are like and if they don't have something to open on xmas day they all get a bit . do you think I should therefore try and nag hurry along their decisions by making some suggestions?

[Uriel]

Well, I sometimes did this. Not any more. Found out in a roundabout way that sil, for one, considers it lazy - can't be bothered to come up with an idea.

If they haven't come back to you, I suggest you leave it and just get them something easy - vouchers/smellies.

[zipzap]

Give them an ultimatum - in the nicest possible way of course - that as you are moving so close to christmas you need to get everything sorted by [a date quite soon] so if you want a present that is something other than a gift voucher / box of chocs / bottle of wine please let me know or you will be getting the aforementioned.

If you put a particular date on it - say a week from now or end of the weekend - and tell them what will happen then they can't complain. Even better if you can email/text it to them so they have it in writing if they feel like complaining at xmas!

[girlywhirly]

Do as zipzap says and if there is no response, buy whatever you like. It might be too soon for some to start thinking about Christmas presents, but it is unreasonable for them not to reply to your messages. And they might have a bit of sympathy for you moving just before Christmas. This is an unusual circumstance, and an extremely stressful one; I was due to move on 18th Dec one year, but due to my incompetent solicitor not doing her job properly and getting sacked by the firm, it was delayed until 5th Jan. I didn't get to find this out until early Dec! So I entirely understand your wish to get sorted.

[TheFallenMadonna]

I really hate being asked for ideas for Christmas presents, so I'd probably be one of the ones who hadn't responded

[Fibilou]

Get whatever you feel like and if they don't like it point out they should have responded to your request.

[mistletoekisses]

YANBU - at all. We moved house 18th Dec last year and I was in the same position.
Pretty much echo what zip zap has said, give them a cut off date and warn that if they dont give you feedback, vouchers/ chocs/ booze are the best they can expect.

Moving is stressful at the best of times, doing it before christmas is so much harder. But lovely too. We were over the moon to be in the new house for Christmas and we enjoyed it so much more having gotten the move out of the way.

[gobsmackedetal]

YANBU, but as the situation is I'd get actual presents for the dc (or for preteens and teens vouchers could be very much appreciated, e.g. HMV).

For the adults get but some sort of charity present, because, let's face it, they don't need anything and your money will be well spent instead of sitting in someone's drawer of someone in the form of yet another unwelcome gift. Headache over. I did this last year and I didn't even have a house-move to organise.

But basically, don't make it a problem. Get on with dd's birthday party and do something quick and generic for extended family at xmas

[Doodleydoo]

thanks guys, this is the second time we have moved at christmas and so I am quite aware of how stressful it is, anything for an easier life!!! Will do as suggested I think and hope that the move all goes to plan! Love the charity idea, have seen some goats that might go down well........

[LoveBeingAMummy]

Just get vouchers for everyone, they all know whats going on and they can spend them in the sale.