ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
Whats happened to make you say "My god, i'm traumatised for life!"(268 Posts)
Thinking silly things, nothing bad.. its a fun thread people!!
For me, its the choice of two incidents.
1) Discovering my SIL had left the lid off the Vivarium her Tarantula lived in and that it had escaped somewhere in the house... it took 3hrs to find it, 3hrs i spent in the garden btw!
2) Just now i went to throw nappy in outside bin and stood, bare foot on a farkin GIANT SLUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yes, i shrieked like a girl, then spent a few minutes trying not to <boak>
I havent' decided which is more traumatic yet....
Taking my elderly mum to casualty on the day she left my Father to live with her new love. A branch had hit her in the eye and she needed stitches and a tetnus jab. When we got to hosp and were waiting in the cubicle, she confessed she didn't want to undress for any injection and got quite upset. When I asked her whyever not, she flashed showed me: hot pink satin basque with peepholes, g-string and suspenders etc.
Can't see the screen for laughing at this thread! Hate to bring up the clit incident again but I have to know, were the paramedics men and if so how the hell did they find the clit to re-attach <fnar fnar>
The cat licking the horses willy story is horrific... the slipping in shit story is also horrific.... I don't think I can face lunch now...
I was relating some of these to DP last night -he thought they were hilarious.
He reminded me of one of his:
We were sitting next to each other on the sofa one summers day, both eating nectarines. All of a sudden he just threw his nectarine across the room and leapt up. He had bitten into the fruit, glanced down only to see a load of earwig-type bugs crawling out of the cracked stone in the middle.
Hes still really wary about nectarines and peaches to this day and always prefers to cut them up rather than bite into them
Oh and I used to have a thing about fried onions. I would salivate when I walked past the hot dog stand. But being a veggie at the time I wouldn't eat them in case they were contaminated with meat juices.
So one night, cut up four onions and fried them till they were v crispy - yum. This was in November. They were a bit stinky while cooking so opened back door.
Halfway through eating the very crispy veggies I noticed one and a half dead daddy-long-legs'
They look very like sliced onions when crisply fried.
Finding a dead mouse in my shoe when I was 11. Never liked the critters since.
What vile lives Mumsnetter live!
Mine is a bit pathetic.
I have been a veggie for over half my life. Love animals blah blah.
Bought humane mousetraps so I wouldnt hurt the little lovelies. Forgot to empty them and found a dear little mouse all starved and deaded.
Took me weeks to get over that
(1) Dessicated frog stuck on silk shirt in tumble dryer (thanks to sodding cat).
(2) Being bitten on toe by mouse living in welly.
(3) Watching a vibrator 'swim' across my case while going through airport security and it was on a big screen in front of hundreds of fellow queuers (bless you US homeland security you do like a larf) - wasn't even mine )
(4) Having to go to hospital after reacting badly to spermicide and legs swelling to point where I couldn't bend them and looked like fat, red faced starfish in Casualty, on a Saturday night when apparently everyone I knew had fallen over and was in the waiting room.
1) stepping on a live frog with bare feet.
2) lying in bed in my scuzzy flat when i was 18 squidging a piece of foil in my fingers - making it into a circle - it wouldn't squidge, so turned on the light and it was a hard backed beetle.
3) walking into the ladies in a rough arsed pub and slipping in a pile of s**t.
Number 3) was particular bad. I barfed and cried for about 2 days.
<<curls knees up protectively and grimaces>>
Shineon, your pe teacher is still making me snigger with horror
The thought of that clit shaving still makes my thighs clench involuntarily
I am sitting here and jumping out of my skin every time I feel the slightest tickle or itch, thinking it's some evil bug come to scare me witless!!!!!!
I have another boak one...
When I was about 13, I had a gelding who could still <ahem> maintain wood. He used to get a bit overheated around mares, and we usually kept him away from them.
This particular day, however, I had to put my mare in the stall next to his, he was excitedly leering through the bars at her.
I went into his stall to feed him, he had a huge stiffy, and the cat was sitting underneath him on her haunches licking it. Yes, licking it.
He looked very happy. Eeeeeeeeeeew!
Oh the trauma of reading about the 8 legged creatures. Only read 2 pages and that was more than enough.
Loving this thread, but not the clit shaving incident .
Too many to mention for me, but the most lasting is finding a snake sleeping on top of the loo cistern in my student house when I lifted the towel to dry my hands. The lock on the door was fairly dodgy and I COULD NOT GET IT OPEN. Cue screaming and banging on door. Eventually get out and tell flatmates/ BF that there is a snake in the loo, all too stoned to believe me. It was eventually caught and on investigation found to belong to two brothers living downstairs who had lost it 3 months earlier. I still can't lock the bathroom door without having a panic attack.
the only thing thats happend to me is.. when i had my ds1 [now 19] he was born 8weeks earley and was in scbu one morning iwas having my breakfast and i cut up my tomato and this big [dead]maggot came rolling out i did not eat the rest of it then boak ive never had tinned toms since then
my cockroach story led to my phobia...
flying home from Florida with my family, I was about 14. It was an overnight flight and I woke up in the morning just in time to see an enormous cockroach falling from the luggage rack above directly onto my cheek
I screamed, woke the entire plane up, but by this time no-one believed me, thought I'd had a nightmare as the little bugger was nowhere to be found. I spent the rest of the flight with my legs uncomfortably tucked under me - when I finally dared to put my foot on the floor the wee shit immediately crawled up my bare leg....BOAK....cue more screaming, still my parents didn't believe me
As we were about to land at Gatwick there was a horrified yell from the back of the plane, followed by a very loud crunch - hooray!
Also while staying in a stinking hostel in Brisbne, the room was crawling with roaches, I couldn't sleep at night, it was dreadful. We finally managed to capture one of them under a glass where it stayed for the entire week as we were all too scared to go near it. Eventualy someone somehow filed the glass with soap powder - the little f**ker ATE though it and still didn't die. Oh, I hate them. They make me shudder.
Travelling in Indonesia with DH on local bus. No loos for ages. Finally found toilet at back of cafe and waited for it to become vacant. Rinsed my hands in the basin while I waited as they were a bit dusty/mucky from journey.
When the lady came out of loo (hole in ground with a door) she went to the basin (had no taps just full of water) lifted her clothes and washed her bits!!!!!!! Clearly that was the purpose of the basin!!!!!!
In Thailand was staying in beach hut with straw roof. While in shower there was a huge explosion - looked up and saw a huge coconut half way through the roof! Ran out of hut feeling v lucky to be alive.
kitkatqueen. I'm over it now. I think.
Marmaduke, I am not a veggie and that would still make me retch. You poor thing.
I have many episodes of trauma, but most recently (well last night actually)...
There has been an increasing aroma downstairs in my house for the last few days, I had checked under the sofa for a rouge fermenting nappy (don't ask) or a half eaten rat (the cat not the DC).
By last night it was so overpowering that I could no longer cope, a full scale turnout of toyboxes etc reveasled nothing the smell was now so all-permeating that I couldn't work out where the seat of the offensive wiff was.
So in my continuing tidying/hunting frenzy I got to the larder around 11pm.
I picked up the lightweight rucksack that I use for a few nappies, pack of wipes and mini chill bag (1 milk, 2 smooties size) that is used for short walks and outings - the smell was definately coming from this. I was puzzled as my friend/ex Mother's help had taken them out on Saturday and I knew that I had removed the milk and empty smoothie cartons.
I unzipped the humming chill bag to reveal a dripping, decomposing poussin (mini chicken) wrapped in cling wrap.
I am a vegetarian. I spent the next 5 minutes retching.
The smell is worse since unzipping the bag, have thrown out the rucksack, chiller (and chook obviously) but the remaining fragrance is more than I can bear.
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