Whats happened to make you say "My god, i'm traumatised for life!"(268 Posts)
Thinking silly things, nothing bad.. its a fun thread people!!
For me, its the choice of two incidents.
1) Discovering my SIL had left the lid off the Vivarium her Tarantula lived in and that it had escaped somewhere in the house... it took 3hrs to find it, 3hrs i spent in the garden btw!
2) Just now i went to throw nappy in outside bin and stood, bare foot on a farkin GIANT SLUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yes, i shrieked like a girl, then spent a few minutes trying not to <boak>
I havent' decided which is more traumatic yet....
OMG was your Dad or ??? Did the boyfriend survive??
My dad was really quite laid back about it, I do admire his panache. He had stuck his head round the door looking in my room for his binoculars (?) and just went back out again. Later on when we finally got the courage to get dressed and go out, he just said 'I hope you're being careful, we don't want any unexpected deliveries'. It has never been spoken of again.
Chipping - I foolishly left a pile of laundry lying about and one of the cats buried a mouse in it.....
lol at "special sauce". You do pick 'em.
I also stood on a slug while barefoot - in my bedroom (ground floor) in student digs.
And then there was the time when I was visiting my grandmother in New Zealand, woke up to feel something crawling across my face, switched on the light and discovered it was an enormous [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weta weta]]
I don't make this stuff up, you know. Just bloody happens..
Sat in DRs with a bad case of bronchitis. Not too long after having a baby, so pelvic floor not what is was and hideous cough meaning I wet myself whenever I did so..
Had major coughing fit as he was printing off my prescription - massively wet myself in the chair, luckily Im in black trousrs and chair is navy. But it's soaking wet - and I pitied the next person in after me...
Looking out of our window and seeing what I thought was a plastic bag outside of our gate. Then going out to investigate and finding out that it was the rear half of our neighbour's rabbit.
StayFrosty - OMG you are SO lucky.... that's SO not how my Dad would have been!!
My dad is pretty cool
I often try and think what dp would do if similar happened with dd - but then that involves thinking about dd having sex, which she will obviously never be doing ever.
PMSL - Frosty you are so right, there is no way our children will be having sex, ever. End of.
I have told dp that when ds is born/becomes a teenager that he is to tell him he is not even allowed to wank on the premises. I wish I could be confident of being an insouciant liberated mother who will just sit down for a chat about condoms, but I fear I may be more of the 'my eyes!! my eyes!! I am blind! make it stop!' variety.
...I wamt to know what happened with shiney's PE teacher anyway. Surely there were harsh consequences?
Actually, I think I will be pretty cool. I like to see young people happy and in love... so as long as they are being very sensible/careful and it's love not a quick shag, I think I'll be pretty cool... after all, by the time they get to 30 they should be able to make some decisions for themselves
Oh no, melpomene - I've been harbouring a desire to visit NZ, but there's NO WAY I could cope with one of those.
My dd threw up on me today, then immediately stuck her finger in it and tried to lick it. I was not impressed.
thell - it's not like you come across them all the time! Trust me, you can live there a long time before you meet one Don't let it put you off!
My story of being traumatised is not as horrid/yucky as some of these but it left me with a fear of getting lost and driving in a foriegn country.
We were moving to Brussels from the UK and all our furniture had been collected that morning and we were heading to Ramsgate to get a ferry to Ostende. We had given ourselves plenty of time (8 hours) to get from Wiltshire to Ramsgate. We hit a massive traffice jam on the M25 and got stuck there for 6 hours. We arrived at the port half an hour late but luckily the ferry was late so managed to get on it.
We arrive in Ostende at 1.30am all absolutely exhausted. I should point out we are travelling with a 3 yr old and a 6 month old. I am doing all the driving as DH doesnt drive. He has printed off a map so we can find our hotel. However several key roads appear to be missing and the ferry port isnt even shown. So I am driving on the wrong side of the road in an unfamiliar town in the middle of the night with two very tired kids in the back.
An hour later and I have pulled into a side road having spent the last 60 minutes going round and round trying to spot the bl**dy hotel. Since its the middle of the night there is no-one around to ask directions and no where looks a particularly safe place to park up for the night. Whilst DH is making excuses as to why his map isnt any use - we have a mini barny which causes me to back up into a tree.
At this point I loose it and jump out of the car and attempt to flag down a passing taxi. Luckily one stops and speaks english. I ask him if he would mind driving to our hotel whilst I follow behind in our car as we are totally lost. Thankfully although he obviously thought we were rather odd he agreed and we made it to the hotel at 3.30am.
I didnt get a lot of sleep as I knew I would have to drive into Brussels the next day.
We lived in Brussel for 16months and I only drove there for the first 3 months as I refused to drive anywhere. The Belgians are nutty drivers! I also put it down to our traumatic first day!
In one of my old nanny job I looked after a six year old and one year old. I had changed the 1 year olds nappy just before we left for school pick up and due to a call just as I finished it I forgot to put it in the nappy bin.
Fast forward 40 mins later I was putting dinner on and the kids were playing in the adjoinging playroom. The six year old suddenly called out NANNY in a panic. I ran into the room to find him pale and about to Vomit, looked behind him there is his one year old sister sitting happy as larry in her little chair with her dolly on her lap rubbing the crappy nappy all over dolly and licking it off. BOAK BOAK BOAK
Getting crap off her bloody hands were a nightmare much harder than her arse.
The only one that ate dinner that night was the one year old.
I have never ever forgotten to get rid of a nappy ASAP after that.
Her poor brother just kept muttering to himself "why why WHY would she do that!"
I was driving to work, stopped at lights and reached into my handbag to grab a snack bar I knew I had, pulled my hand out of the bag and there was a massive spider on it - one of the huge brown ones you find in sheds which was about an inch long. I screamed, shook my hand, spider vanished - I couldn't see it anywhere.
I drove along for about a minute thinking "did I imagine that, am I going mad?" and then looked down and it was on my leg
Managed to pull over, while hyperventilating, brushed it off into the footwell and squished it (I know that was mean but I was genuinely panicking).
Took me about 10 minutes to calm down and drive off.
Still makes me shiver thinking about it, and I'm not that bothered by normal spiders.
I was seconds away from having to give mouth to mouth to a street drinker who had green snot and vomit all over his face.
Paramedics arrived just in the nick of time and I got coughed over by him instead!
yum yum yum
Interesting how many of these are about spiders and sick btw. Now then...
Last night I was woken up by the sound of retching - found next door's cat vomming his guts up on the stairs. Poor cat obviously but yuk. Naturally I cleaned it up, as dp lay in bed saying 'well you're the one who encourages him into the house'.
Couple of hours later I thought I heard a weird noise. Must have been my spider senses tingling as I checked dd's room and there on the wall above her cot was a massive mofo of a spider ( I am terrified of the evil beasts), body resembled a giant black monkey-nut, nasty fat legs, just sitting on the wall above her open mouth snoring away in her cot.
I wanted to be like Sigourney Weaver in Alien and scream 'Get away from her you bitch', but what I actually did was pick up nearest thing to hand (copy of Closer mag, only bought it cos of lardy Mcdonald's triplets story, but I digress) and attempt to squash the hideous beastie.
In fact was too scared to go near it, and amidst visions of botching the whole thing and half dead spider landing in dd's mouth, I did what any sane person would do and moved her cot into the middle of the room instead. Job done.
My trilogy of happy events concluded at 6am, more sounds of retching, it's my own cat vomming in my bed. IN MY BED!
Brings a whole new meaning to sleeping in the wet patch.
Mine is pretty horrible. DD wasn't very well so had to head downstairs in the middle of the night to get a spoon for calpol. Didn't bother to put shoes or socks on or anything as still hoping to get back to bed.
On the way back upstairs I trod in an enormous cat poo left in the middle of the hall carpet. It was squishy and smelt terrible. I had to hop back upstairs, try and get the worst off my foot, give DD her medicine, try again to get the revolting stuff off my foot, wash again and finally not bother going back to bed and scrubbing at the carpet.
All medicine is upstairs now.
Seeing a neighbours boyfriend (aged 55-60ish) dancing around her kitchen in nowt but a pair of grey pants.
Not a pretty sight.
(DP and I always refer to him as Mr Grey Pants now)
Age 9, me and my best friend "finding" a hardcore porno (horses etc) in her dad's wardrobe. Also, he left a sperm sample lying around as well .....
The day my father told me that I had caused panic in their house..and as he rolled around the sofa crying with laughter as he told the story.
they had been woken up by an awful noise coming through the walls. mum and dad thought it was the pipes juddering about to burst.. they hunted the noise down.. it got louder the closer they got to my room. ( I was away for the weekend, about to move out and had packing boxes stored in there).
they listened and crept about following the noise.. until it led them to one of my boxes.. which contained a 12" mahoosive vibe.. which had turned itself on.. and the box had been vibrating against the wall, causing the terrifying noise in the middle of the night.
my father removed he batteries.. my mother was just stuned at the size
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