Whats happened to make you say "My god, i'm traumatised for life!"

(268 Posts)
StripeyOss Tue 12-May-09 23:20:25

Thinking silly things, nothing bad.. its a fun thread people!!

For me, its the choice of two incidents.

1) Discovering my SIL had left the lid off the Vivarium her Tarantula lived in and that it had escaped somewhere in the house... it took 3hrs to find it, 3hrs i spent in the garden btw!

2) Just now i went to throw nappy in outside bin and stood, bare foot on a farkin GIANT SLUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes, i shrieked like a girl, then spent a few minutes trying not to <boak>

I havent' decided which is more traumatic yet....

magicOC Fri 15-May-09 21:45:34

THIS THREAD wink

Oh the trauma of reading about the 8 legged creatures. Only read 2 pages and that was more than enough.

Poppity Fri 15-May-09 21:45:38

The thought of that clit shaving still makes my thighs clench involuntarilyshock

I am sitting here and jumping out of my skin every time I feel the slightest tickle or itch, thinking it's some evil bug come to scare me witless!!!!!!

I have another boak one...

When I was about 13, I had a gelding who could still <ahem> maintain wood. He used to get a bit overheated around mares, and we usually kept him away from them.
This particular day, however, I had to put my mare in the stall next to his, he was excitedly leering through the bars at her.
I went into his stall to feed him, he had a huge stiffy, and the cat was sitting underneath him on her haunches licking it. Yes, licking it.

He looked very happy. Eeeeeeeeeeew!

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 15-May-09 21:49:20

Please - stop mentioning the shaving ' incident '.. makes me clench every time its repeated.

Poppity Fri 15-May-09 21:51:07

Shineon, your pe teacher is still making me snigger with horrorgrin

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 15-May-09 21:53:51

Oh don't. I can still picture him, furtively tugging away among the apparatus.

He usd to deliberately let his balls hang out his shorts whilst crouching down to talk to us. He was known as ' Balls Boucher '...

Poppity Fri 15-May-09 21:56:58

Eeeeeeeeeeew!

'Furtively' eeeeeeeeew!

<<curls knees up protectively and grimaces>>

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 15-May-09 21:59:02

and not a little frantically!

Just grim. It was all, well, purple.

PUKE.

christiana Fri 15-May-09 22:23:33

Message withdrawn

pocketmonster Fri 15-May-09 22:37:30

Either:

1) stepping on a live frog with bare feet.

2) lying in bed in my scuzzy flat when i was 18 squidging a piece of foil in my fingers - making it into a circle - it wouldn't squidge, so turned on the light and it was a hard backed beetle.

3) walking into the ladies in a rough arsed pub and slipping in a pile of s**t.

Number 3) was particular bad. I barfed and cried for about 2 days.

(1) Dessicated frog stuck on silk shirt in tumble dryer (thanks to sodding cat).

(2) Being bitten on toe by mouse living in welly.

(3) Watching a vibrator 'swim' across my case while going through airport security and it was on a big screen in front of hundreds of fellow queuers (bless you US homeland security you do like a larf) - wasn't even mine hmm)

(4) Having to go to hospital after reacting badly to spermicide and legs swelling to point where I couldn't bend them and looked like fat, red faced starfish in Casualty, on a Saturday night when apparently everyone I knew had fallen over and was in the waiting room.

chegirl Fri 15-May-09 23:02:23

What vile lives Mumsnetter live!

Mine is a bit pathetic.

I have been a veggie for over half my life. Love animals blah blah.

Bought humane mousetraps so I wouldnt hurt the little lovelies. Forgot to empty them and found a dear little mouse all starved and deaded.

Took me weeks to get over that sad

PurlyQueen Fri 15-May-09 23:29:29

Finding a dead mouse in my shoe when I was 11. Never liked the critters since.

Oh and I used to have a thing about fried onions. I would salivate when I walked past the hot dog stand. But being a veggie at the time I wouldn't eat them in case they were contaminated hmm with meat juices.

So one night, cut up four onions and fried them till they were v crispy - yum. This was in November. They were a bit stinky while cooking so opened back door.

Halfway through eating the very crispy veggies I noticed one and a half dead daddy-long-legs' shock

They look very like sliced onions when crisply fried.

NorbertDentressangle Sat 16-May-09 10:49:56

I was relating some of these to DP last night -he thought they were hilarious.
He reminded me of one of his:

We were sitting next to each other on the sofa one summers day, both eating nectarines. All of a sudden he just threw his nectarine across the room and leapt up. He had bitten into the fruit, glanced down only to see a load of earwig-type bugs crawling out of the cracked stone in the middle.

Hes still really wary about nectarines and peaches to this day and always prefers to cut them up rather than bite into them

Ineedmorechocolatenow Sat 16-May-09 13:10:46

The cat licking the horses willy story is horrific... the slipping in shit story is also horrific.... I don't think I can face lunch now...

SouthMum Sat 16-May-09 13:55:45

Can't see the screen for laughing at this thread! Hate to bring up the clit incident again but I have to know, were the paramedics men and if so how the hell did they find the clit to re-attach <fnar fnar>

BottySpottom Sat 16-May-09 18:53:21

grin Southmum

mollyroger Thu 21-May-09 10:41:54

Taking my elderly mum to casualty on the day she left my Father to live with her new love. A branch had hit her in the eye and she needed stitches and a tetnus jab. When we got to hosp and were waiting in the cubicle, she confessed she didn't want to undress for any injection and got quite upset. When I asked her whyever not, she flashed showed me: hot pink satin basque with peepholes, g-string and suspenders etc. grinshock

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