To have only barely kept from going spare in the blooming nursery this evening?

[Ronaldinhio]

I picked my 8 mth old up early from nursery this evening to attend my other ill DD's 2nd birthday. (Unnecessary information but I like to set the scene)

Her key worker said in passing that it's her last day working with DD2 as on Monday she starts downstairs in the big child room. Complete surprise to me I say
Her too, she says as they only told her this afternoon.
Was anyone actually going to tell me, ask my opinion? I ask
Erm no she replies....
Speak with the nursery surpervisor tell her that I thought the keyworker ideal was for security and continuity of care and that I found this particularly important in the care of my baby.
She said that they need to move her keyworker downstairs as it's busier there and they've taken on someone new for the babyroom.

Surely there should be some communication, handover, discussion and importance placed upon maintaining the status quo especially amongst young children?
They said they will have a newsletter out in a few weeks that just made me worse


So am I being unreasonable?

[FAQinglovely]

ermm I think yab a little U

[Ronaldinhio]

whhhhhhhyyyyyy?

[FAQinglovely]

because people change jobs, keyworkers (not just in nursery care) move on - it sucks, but it happens.

[KingCanuteIAm]

I would say that these changes happen and that YABU to expect the same person to stay all of your childs time at nursery.

I do agree that the new keyworker should have had time to get to know your dc before the keyworker moves to a new area though.

Is the new employee going to be his keyworker or is it going to be one of the established staff?

[Crunchie]

because the keyworker will be able to handover as she is not leaving, sh ewill still be on site, and they had to move her due to staffing issues and TBH aside from the fact you mention another child you are being totally precious

[Thunderduck]

YABU.

[TheFallenMadonna]

YABU. Agree with the others. I'm not sure why they would need to seek your opinion.

[totalmisfit]

i sort of know what you're going through as my dd's keyworker was also switched recently without any kind of consultation. I think the problem is that it's a strange mixture of educational establishment and privately run business iyswim?

Obviously as parents, our priority is for continuity of care etc, but for the nursey manager there's staff turnover and more of an emphasis on things being efficient etc...

it is unsettling though. Also, i sometimes think that maybe things would be different of more of the daycare staff at my nursery had had children of their own at some point... perhaps they would get why things like this bother parents.

[BarbaraWoodlouse]

You are not being completely unreasonable. You are overreacting a little.

The nursery has to manage its staff according to its needs. They simply can't ask every parent for their "opinion".

It is rubbish however that they weren't able to make it more of a planned move so that you had a little notice but TBH I don't see what difference it would make to DD2 herself. For her, one day her keyworker would be there, the next day not....

And whilst I agree that keyworkers are important, DD2 will suerly know other workers in the baby room?

[Ronaldinhio]

Yeah you're probably all right..that's why I asked

I was just arsed off at the we'd let you know by newsletter stuff
No one has left btw they have just started a new girl and swapped them around.

Ta ladies, I'll wind my neck in.

[detoxdiva]

Oh ffs

Yes - yabu

They haven't sacked her, they've moved, what sounds like, a very good member of staff to where the business sees fit. If it is as good a nursery, then have faith that your childs new key worker will be equally as good. Things change, that's life, presumably as your dd grows she will move rooms and change key workers anyway. It may unsettle dd for a short while but children are adaptable and she will settle with her new keyworker.

[bergentulip]

I had the same a couple of yrs ago when DS1 was in nursery. Within the 18mths he was at the nursery his key worker changed 4 times, and then he had to move rooms -as age changed- twice.
With the last change, when I left him he'd be screaming his little heart out. Too much change, no continuity. So, as there was only a couple of months before my mat. leave and him leaving the nursery and being at home with me, and pretty much begged he stayed in the toddler room and not move up. They relented and all was fine.

It was awful, and continuity makes a big difference to how they perceive their time there. However, if I really want to control how much continuity of care and love he gets, then the only way to do that is be at home for him.

Nurseries are businesses. They want to make money. They want to use the resources they have in the most efficient way to ensure less wages and more profit. 'Tis cynical, but true. Just the way it is.

I am not casting aspertions (sp?) on childcare, it is unfortunately a necessary evil in this day and age, for most families, in order to make a decent living to support a semi-decent life (even when my part time salary just about covered childcare, and then the utility bills and nothing left at the end of the month)- but if we want love and a focus of care in our children's lives, the only way to control that is to be the ones there for them at that young age.

Racks me with guilt on a daily basis.

[littlebrownmouse]

When my DD was at nursery, SHE was moved to the big (pre-school) room without me knowing. Now that did make me cross!

[ra29]

yanbu babies of that age do need continuity of care. They may be doing the best that they can but to not tell you properly is terrible.

[Sunflower100]

How much of the care does the keyworker do? At dd's nursery the reality was that she bonded with all of the staff and the key worker didn't seem to do much that the others didn't. When her keyworker went off sick it didn't worry me in the slightest (apart from concern for he- she is lovelY) as dd had lots of other staff to take care of her,

[noonki]

I dont think you are being unreasonable being upset for your child. No one can explain it to her.

You are being unreasonable to the nursery though, telling you would have had no impact on your child, it's not as if you can tell her what is going to happen.

Why send her to nursery and not a childminder if you feel like this?

A good childminder will be potentially there for your child until school, and beyond if you have afterschool care requirements.

My childminder looks after kids she has had since babies and some of them are near 10.

And my son adores her and she him. She knows everything about him and us.

Sounds like it would suit you better.

[Ronaldinhio]

Some support...mmm confused now..thanks for the empathy but I think in some respects I over reacted and that's why I posted in AIBU

Anywho

I think I was arsed off by the lack of communication and consultation..clearly I understand the private sector but when a nursery charges top dollar and promises consistency, consultation and communication and you receive none of these things you have a right to be farked off...

I'm not precious, quite the opposite..but I expect a certain standard of care and I don't think I was afforded that. Fundamentally I am their end customer and I think that they put their immediate needs above those of my daughter and their professed ethos of continuous and standard care...not wise in today?s market.

[nannyL]

my friend is a nursary worker in a chain of quite expensive and locally well respected nursary

not only do the STAFF regulalry swap rooms (for ratios etc) so do the children....

so they will have an extra 7 month old... so a 11 month old moves to the 12 - 18 month room, a 17 month old moves to 18 - 24 month room, a 23 month old into 2 - 2.5 etc etc right up to the 5 years olds

this happens regularly almost daily

and if ypu get extra children elsewhere along the line (as they often do) you end up with 3/12 of the children in the room moving rooms!

IMO YABU... and if you really want your child to be cared for by only 1 main person choose a nanny or a childminder!

[Ronaldinhio]

naanyl
what you have described goes against all the guidelines set down by law and their contract with me though...why therefore am I being unreasonable?

I agree that I should think about a nanny but I thought that this was a better solution in terms of illness etc

[sushistar]

I think this is normal for a nursery. The keyworker is not providing one-on-one care - you baby is one of many, and however nice the workers are, your child is no more importanat to them than the next one. Think how many babies they must deal with on an annual basis. I think the 'keyworker' system is just an attempt to make what is essentially a feed-nap-change factory line a bit more personalised.

Maybe you need to think about whether nursery is the best option for you?

[sleepyeyes]

Yes you should have been informed but you are being a bit OTT, you dont get to have say on who is your childs keyworker.

I'm an ex-nanny and what nannyL says about the ratio fixing is very true and widespread. The big chains are particually guilty of this when they have ofstead visiting. Just because its unlawful doesn't mean they won't do it.

[Ronaldinhio]

drunken posting is alway embarassing the next morning, non

I was a muppet at the nursery iwbu
I will refrain from such thoughts and behaviour in the future....maybe..

[purepurple]

I think you have over-reacted a bit and have fallen into the "my baby is the only child that matters at nursery" trap

[Ronaldinhio]

true, non?

[purepurple]

of course!
from your point of view at least
but, sadly, not from the nursery's