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AIBU?

To think that there are some things that 3 years old just should not do even if they protest to dh that they are a big boy now or go on and on about it?

39 replies

Sails · 29/01/2009 19:45

I'm talking about being allowed to operate the microwave, switch on lights and reach for breakfast bowls all these things are out of ds1s reach and he has to be lifted (by dh) in order to do these things . Now I think that its great that ds1 wants to help and be independant but surely there are limits and when does it stop? Also he only does these things with dh because dh doesn't want the constant on and on when he says no. Makes me out to be the bad person when I'm on my own with him and I say no iyswim!

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SimpleAsABC · 29/01/2009 19:47

If he's being supervised and dh is careful.... I think it's ok!

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bodiddly · 29/01/2009 19:47

My ds turns on lights on his own now and at times we lift him up to reach things. Im not sure I see the harm but then again I am not at home with him all day having to do it. I am sure it would start to wear a little thin after a while!

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Desiderata · 29/01/2009 19:51

Oh, I don't know. I mean, his dad's with him. It's not like he's drawing up a stool and doing it unwatched.

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Sails · 29/01/2009 19:52

You are right it does breakfast lunch tea everytime I get something out or use the microwave! I do encourage his keeness in other ways though such as helping with cooking (mixing) and passing things that are in his reach etc etc.

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Weegle · 29/01/2009 19:52

DS 2.8 switches on lights - he uses his toilet step and can reach. He knows the rules - you don't play with them but switch them on when you go in a dark room and off when you come out. I'm all for encouraging independence and so I guess let him do things like this, but not if they require me to lift him... So he can lay table, clear plates off table etc, but he wouldn't get a breakfast bowl as I would need to lift him to the cupboard... So I think YABABU, but can understand where you're coming from.

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Kevlarhead · 29/01/2009 19:53

CHILDREN under the age of 15 should never be allowed to fly a passenger jet, not even for five minutes, according to the chief medical officer.

"Sir Liam Donaldson said the advice may seem obvious, but too many parents are still allowing their child to take the family car, drive to the airport and start fiddling about in the cockpit of a Boeing 737."

It's irrelevant, but i thought it was funny. Especially the picture.

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Sails · 29/01/2009 19:54
Grin
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Sails · 29/01/2009 19:59

As far as lights are concerned my pov is once they are able to reach them they are old enough to switch them on. Things like microwaves and bowls are out of reach for ds1 so he has to be lifted to use them! I just think its not appropriate for a 3 year ols.

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ChasingSquirrels · 29/01/2009 19:59

I agree wirh Weegle

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pointydog · 29/01/2009 20:01

When his dad's around, he's in charge. That's how I'd see it.

Women step in far too often to insist on drawing up all the rules.

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llareggub · 29/01/2009 20:05

I don't really see the problem with any of the things you've stated. Am I missing something?

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Desiderata · 29/01/2009 20:05

I agree with you, Pointy.

He is a boy after all, and his dad is a big boy, who might even had a better idea of how to bring him up than you do .....

OK, that's a bit OTT, but it's a point worth making

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OrmIrian · 29/01/2009 20:07

I don't think it's innapropriate at all. But it is bloody irritating!

DS#2 was like this. And it makes life so much more trying.

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Othersideofthechannel · 29/01/2009 20:10

I would draw the line at the microwave but then ours is in reach (fitted kitchen)

I would worry that a three year old would know how to operate it but not necessarily remember not to put anything metal in. Or which temperature to use to warm up their drink.

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Blondeshavemorefun · 29/01/2009 20:11

fine to switch on lights, get bowls out etc, as they are helping and learning BUT only if they can do it by their selves

bit pointless dh lifting ds up to do it imo

but if thats wht daddy wants to do then let him, just make it clear to your ds that you wont do that

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Sails · 29/01/2009 20:11

Yes I mean the constant I WANT TO DO THIS AND THAT all day long! All great and to be encourage but where does it stop! (How do I make words bold btw?

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herbietea · 29/01/2009 20:14

This reply has been deleted

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schprooz · 29/01/2009 20:15

Have you not got a cupboard in reach? I cleared out part of a low cupboard and put a whole load of plastic cups and plates in there so that I can now ask the kids to lay the table themselves. And when they ask for water I can quite reasonably say get it yourself. Youngest is 2.10

If it's glass and china they have to be supervised at that age. Mine also want to do the microwave, so I unplug it when I've finished just in case they play with it when I'm not paying attention.

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Sails · 29/01/2009 20:16

Exactly othersideofthechannel thats exactly what I worry about. And yes lights and cupboards are fine if they can reach but the point in he can't. I caught him literally standing on my worktop the other day and then spotted things that were deliberately put out of his reach iyswim!! I was not impressed and to be fair dh has become abit firmer since then!

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seeker · 29/01/2009 20:17

I think all those things are fine - why on earth shouldn't they turn lights on, get out bowps and push the buttons on the microwave?

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2pt4kids · 29/01/2009 20:19

But why wouldnt you let your 3 year old turn a light on himself if he wished???
My 3 year old turns the lights on when he goes in a dark room and turns them off when we go out. I taught him to use the dimmer switch so he could do it himself!
I'd let him get his own bowl out if he asked to and (he never has but) if he wanted to work the microwave I'd show him what button to press and just tell him he only does it when Mummy says ok.
I lift him up to press lift buttons and zebra crossin buttons too and let him put the money in the car park machine for me.

I save the battles for things like not touching the fire or sharp things or hot things!!!

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wrinklytum · 29/01/2009 20:24

I can see the microwave could be an issue if he were fiddling with it unsupervised.Would't be bothered by the others.I cleared a shelf in our kitchen cupboards and put load of plastic unbreakable stuff in there to fiddle with,and some empty boxes etc.Kept dcs amused whilst I was washing up etc.

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Sails · 29/01/2009 20:24

I lift ds up to press lift and crossing buttons. However that it different to operating a microwave imo.

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IdrisTheDragon · 29/01/2009 20:24

I don't have any problem with DD (3.4) doing those things - not the microwave as we don't have one, but she helps to unstack the dishwasher and put things where they belong (in low cupboard) and I wil lift her up to switch lights on. She can turn her own light on and off, is sensible about it and I would rather she became independent sooner rather than later (lazy mother here....)

(I do care about safety btw ).

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Sails · 29/01/2009 20:26

I mean that is different! I've Had too many bowls etc broken to change my mind about the reaching in high up cupboards issue i'm afraid sorry!

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