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AIBU?

To be offended?

36 replies

smurfgirl · 11/12/2008 13:31

Went swimming today, as I did the walk of shame from the changing rooms to the pool a woman in the pool looked me up and down and said to her friend - if my legs looked like that I wouldn't go swimming.

My upper legs have quite long big scars on from self harm, and the scars are quite red (only 6 months old).

I was pretty offended but my DH says that it was not offensive, just, badly phrased meaning I was brave to go swimming.

She didn't aim the comment at me, but didn't say it quietly anyway but the pool is v.echoey.

I refrained from commenting on her saggy tits and big arse.

OP posts:

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MadreInglese · 11/12/2008 13:32

What a horrid thing to say!! YANBU!

MincePirateCat · 11/12/2008 13:33

no yanbu.

silly cow, how rude, however she meant it, ie your are brave, or 'oh, look at her'.

rude rude rude. big mouthed bitch.

roundcornvirgin · 11/12/2008 13:33

What a nasty woman. Ignore her smurfgirl and keep swimming.

jumpingbeans · 11/12/2008 13:34

You should have said, if i had i face like that i would'nt leave the house

kiltycoldbum · 11/12/2008 13:35

yanbu but i hope you're getting some help to deal with the self harming.

morningpaper · 11/12/2008 13:35

it's so weird how some people see self-harm as some of personal indulgence

just ignore it, the scars will fade over time

and like you say, at least your tits are pert

wideratthehips · 11/12/2008 13:36

oh my f*ing god, what a foul bitch...what goes around comes around and people who would say something like that are pretty awful and will get their comeupance.

you must keep swimming!

plantsitter · 11/12/2008 13:36

I wish you had commented on her saggy tits and big arse. And pushed her in.

WillburyNibbleQC · 11/12/2008 13:36

I would have spoken to her companion, "if I had a friend like that, I'd choose to spend an awful lot of time alone".

Some people are insensitive and rude.
Some are a bit thick.

A few are all three.

pania · 11/12/2008 13:41

YANBU at all. What a colossal bitch that woman is.

smurfgirl · 11/12/2008 13:42

I like swimming because I may be fat but at least I am not a 70 year old man in speedos so I imagine she felt self concious in her costume.

I do get looked up and down a bit but nobody has commented yet. TBH its been great for me in confidence terms because I know I have to deal, and live with how my legs look.

Ho hum

OP posts:

LouieStrumpet · 11/12/2008 13:48

That woman was being hugely insensitive and needs someone to tell her so - whether that be you or someone else.

I also go swimming and do the walk of shame - I have very lumpy and unsightly white legs (I never wear shorts or skirts in the summer) and various people have made comments over the years.

However swimming is relaxing, rejuvanating and the best exercise for your body.

Don't let it get you down, people like that aren't worth getting angry over.

kiltycoldbum · 11/12/2008 13:49

smufgirl i self harmed for years when i was younger, my right thigh was a mess now though 10 years on you cant see a thing (just loads of sodding stretch marks!) it will get better in time. You keep your head held high and feel free to tell twonks like that exactly where to get off. I agree with morningpaper most people do not understand it or think its some weird indulgence, for me it was a way to breathe when it got too much.

i hope youre okay, keep moving on up and wearing that costume, you'll be ok you know x

TheProvincialLady · 11/12/2008 13:58

What a bitch. The only consolation is, she has to live with being a bitch. Everyone around her must know and constantly be thinking it, and the only people who would be friends of hers would also be nasty people.

I am sure that the vast majority of people pay no attention to your scars. If I have ever noticed that sort of thing I have probably only thought how good it is for people to be able to bare their bodies at the swimming pool in all conditions (mine too!). Mostly I just don't even notice.

AlistairSim · 11/12/2008 14:03

Cow-bag.

If you see her again, get really close to her, fart and wee then swim off as fast as you can.

PlonkerTeatowelOnTheirHeads · 11/12/2008 14:10

YANBU

Nasty bitch

Am on your behalf!

LouMacca · 11/12/2008 14:14

Jesus. As if us women don't have enough issues about our own bodies without some silly cow making a comment like that!

I think it says more about her trying to make herself feel better than about you. If my friend had made a comment like that to me about someone at the swimming baths I would have a fit

MadamDeathstarOverBethlehem · 11/12/2008 14:20

It was a horrible thing to say and in you place I would be offended too. I expect your DH was trying to cheer you up.

I have seen all kinds of people at swimming pools and on the beach. So what? Doesn't everyone have the right to fun and excercise however they look?

I am sure your scars will fade with time. She is stuck with that nasty personality for life.

wotuhohohoinat · 11/12/2008 14:21

YANBU. that woman sounds horrible. Good on you for going swimming and for not being put off by her.

PingpingsatonSantasface · 11/12/2008 14:23

YANBU What a cow.

I would of said if I looked like her I wouldn't leave my house let alone go swimming.

Gorionine · 11/12/2008 14:40

Yanbu I would have commented on her (even if she looked perfect)I am not a nasty person but this kind of hurtful gratuitous comments from someone who does not have a clue makes me so!

jesuswhatnext · 11/12/2008 14:51

i will never understand the cruelty of some people, i do think that most people, on seeing your scars would think 'oh poor girl, that must of hurt, i wonder how she got those' - and then think no more of it. (i refuse to believe that the majority of people do not have any empathy/sympathy for others and that most of us are not generally kind)

do carry on swimming, it would be such a shame for you to give up on the back of one horrible comment from a stupid woman.

MadameCheese · 11/12/2008 14:54

YANBU I'd be mortified and would have run away crying. What a cruel woman, don't let it stop you from going back though

littlelyn · 11/12/2008 15:04

Your legs will heal. She, however, will always be ugly on the inside. Well done you for not stooping to her level - the bitch.

MadamDeathstarOverBethlehem · 11/12/2008 17:20

Please do not give up swimming. I am sure anyone seeing your scars would think they were caused by an accident of some kind. Self-harming would not be the first thing that would occur to them, and even if it did, so what? Do you not deserve compassion and polite treatment for suffering through that?

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