Such as knowing how to erect/fold the buggy. How to fasten the straps on dd's carseat. How to fit the carseat in the car?
Basically DH works full time, I am a SAHM. Therefore, I do expect the bulk of the childcare to be my responsibility. However, I would appreciate it if he could at least try to get to grips with certain things.
I don't drive, so the carseat has to come in and out of the car quite a bit for if I need it when DH is at work. DD was in her first stage carseat until 14 months and DH never learnt how to put it in the car, despite me asking him to. When we got her new carseat, I was already 4 months pregnant so told DH he would need to learn how to fit it as I wouldn't be able to lean over it easily for much longer. I offered to show him how, he said next time. The next time he again said "next time" and so on. So I gave him the manual to learn how to do it. He put it to one side without even looking at it.
I am now 8 months pregnant, and no longer able to reach across the carseat so fitting it involves me putting the carseat in the car, threading the seatbelt through as far as I can, going round to the other side of car, getting in and climbing across seat to fasten seatbelt, getting back out of car and back round to the other side to pull seatbelt tight, fasten clips etc, then back round to far side to push down final tautener thingy. The time before last I told DH to come out and learn how to do it and offered to talk him through it while he did it. He said no I'll just watch you do it this time and then I'll do it next time. Ok.
Fine except he watched me do it, and then the next time I asked him to take the carseat out to the car, which he did. But I then took dd out to put her in the carseat only to find he hadn't actually fitted it, just placed it in the car. So yet again, I had to get in and out of car and clamber across seat etc when he could easily have just reached over seat and plugged the seatbelt in.
A trip out as a family involves me getting dd up and ready, packing the change bag, making sure she has everything she might need want etc. I then have to put the carseat in the car, put the buggy in the boot and put dd in her carseat. Fine, except I also have to do all of this on the rare occasion he takes dd out alone "to give me a break". I have refused to do the bag for him before, but he didn't take a nappy so dd pooed, sat in it all afternoon and then got a horrific rash. Same if I don't make sure he takes a drink/food etc for her-she has to suffer which I don't think is fair on her just to make a point to my dh.
If he baths her he leaves her alone in the bath. If he has her alone over mealtimes she doesn't get fed properly. She has a very sensitive bum so needs her nappy changed fairly often and as soon as she poos, but DH often leaves her in the same nappy until it actually leaks through her clothes-only then does he remember that she might need changing.
To be fair to him, he is a very loving father, and especially since dd has got older and more interactive has been very good at playing with her, taking her to the park etc. I just wish I could leave her with him without having to write a list of detailed instructions or worrying that she will not have her needs met.
Does this just come with the territory of being a SAHM? I know my friends DP's do all of this stuff but are they just lucky?
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AIBU?
to think that my dh should at least make an effort to get to grips with various aspects of childcare
42 replies
claireybang · 05/11/2007 12:38
OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor ·
05/11/2007 12:41
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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