To ask what makes a man 'wet'?

[Helpme9]

So totally going to get flamed but I have a close member of my family who is a bit 'wet'. He is a loving man. Kind and caring his wife has asked me for advice. I think I kind of know the answer but I'm not with her 24/7 in their relationship. He holds a high powered job. However at home he likes his wife to take control and she said she's fed up of it. I said he might be tired after a 'controlling' day at work. However she is concerned he's started asking her to take control in the bedroom! At first she said it was exciting but she said she misses being chased and is always the instigator (which turns him on). I've met her in-laws a few times. His mother is a total control freak! She controls his father. So I've said to her (basic psychology) is he's just like his dad. She is also controlling though I don't think she sees it in her behaviour which I why I expect they're together. So she's said how do I get him to man up? The thing is I don't know what to say as to the outside world he is a hard working man in a high powered job! She is a SAHM to two lovely children. I kind of think he's lovely but I can see how the dynamics are upsetting her. Sorry it's a bit long. I've said you can't change him and she is BU thinking she can. I also don't think she could be with a controlling man as they would be at logger heads. Thoughts please?!

[timeforabrewnow]

TMI - and let them get on with it

[GrabtharsHammer]

He's a close member of your family by you've only met his parents a few times?

And why are you so invested in this?

It's all a bit off. And far too much information for a Friday tea time.

[NerrSnerr]

I think you know too much about a close member of your family's sex life.

[shivermytimbers]

Is the answer water?

[Helpme9]

His inlaws are private people they don't mix much with us. So we see them at family dos. She is a blood relative he an inlaw but via marriage we are close

[PickAChew]

Why the hell is your relative's sex life any business of yours?

[babymouse]

Tell her to use her words and butt out. ;)

[Helpme9]

They've come to me for advice the relative has!

[Emmageddon]

Has she asked you to post about her marital problems on mumsnet? I'd be a bit pissed off if I confided in a relative and found she'd publicly sought advice on my behalf but maybe that's just me

[Helpme9]

Erm no but who do you ask in RL?!

[TheSparrowhawk]

My thought is that you should stay out of it

[Tarttlet]

Calling men "wet" and expecting them to "man up" is horribly sexist.

[DameXanaduBramble]

No advice but 'too much information for a Friday teatime' ? Is this 1954?

[228agreenend]

If his father is usd to being bossed around, then that's what he has learnt a male role should be at home. I'm not sure how this is rectified, apart from allowing him more responsibility.

Maybe after a busy demanding day, he likes to be controlled and not having to think.

Regarding their sex life, that's a conversation they need between them, not on a public forum!

[TheNaze73]

[Yellowbird54321]

shiver

[MrsRyanGosling15]

I dont get what everyone's problem is. Someone has came to the op for advice on a problem with

[liz70]

"what makes a man 'wet'?"

HTH.

Oops, not that type of thread, then? Sorry.

(I really thought it was a Friday night troll thread from the title. )

[ScarlettDarling]

You said you've met her in laws a few times...surely that's his parents, i.e. Your close family member's mum and dad? How have you only met them a few times if he's your close family?

[ChocolateBudgeCake]

As with anything really she needs to talk to him . She needs to communicate her thoughts and feelings to her husband, not you, not a bunch of strangers on the internet.

I also hate that she/you are talking about him 'manning up'. What does that even mean?! It's very sexist.

[ScarlettDarling]

Sorry, just read your later post explaining the situation. Just ignore me!

[AChristmasCactus]

She should tell him this and they can switch it around so they're both happy. It's not that uncommon. He's not "wet" unless you mean from the excitement about this domination kink.

[KurriKurri]

I think the fact that she's discussed their sex life with you is a total betrayal of trust. If a partner of mine did that he'd be out the door. It's his sex life too and he has a right to privacy. And I'd have stopped her telling me about it before she got into any detail at all.


Also she is lucky - having been with a very different kind of man, I'd take nice, lovely and yes 'wet' over arrogant, controlling bastard every time.

[crunched]

Help. Your relative obviously trusts your instincts if she asked for your advice, personally I'd be delighted if someone I asked for opinions took it as seriously as you have. Maybe some people are less open than others about DTD.
Relationships might be a better forum than AIBU for this.
Think I can be of little help, other than to say it seems logical in my relationship with DH that when I am pressured by work/life I prefer being
less dominant and more 'cared for' ( sorry, I'm not very articulate) and vice verse when he is stressed IYSWIM.