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AIBU?

X mas presents for dc

21 replies

userqwerty · 13/11/2016 07:13

Name changed for this one. Dh doesn't think the our dc should have presents this year for Christmas. He has said that the eldest 5 should have 1 main present only and youngest 1 doesn't need anything. Aibu to think that I would like my dc to have at least a few presents to open on Christmas Day or is he? We only have family on his side plus my mum so I wouldn't be surprised if he tells them not to buy for our dc! Is excuse is that we don't need tat around the house, which I agree to some extent but we have just had a big clear out and given loads to charity shops

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userqwerty · 13/11/2016 07:14

Not sure how that came across but we only have 2 children one is 5 and the other 1

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RedStripeLassie · 13/11/2016 07:34

Are you married to a Mr Ebenezer Scrooge!
I think you sign up for 'tat around the house' when you make a child.
Like you said, big charity shop run will sort the problem. He sounds mean and shouldn't you make this as a joint decision anyway?

Leanback · 13/11/2016 07:35

Is this for money saving reasons or isn't he just being mean with money. If the latter he's being VU

Fuckingitup · 13/11/2016 07:35

I don't think you are unreasonable but maybe it doesn't need to be toys.We did quite a few practical presents last year, children were same ages. Might still be fun if they have favourite characters etc on them?

Clothes/PJs/slippers.
New plate/bowl/cup sets.
New bedding or anything for bedrooms.

And books. You can never have too many books.

Is 5yo into Lego?. I never mind spending on Lego. It gets so much play.

userqwerty · 13/11/2016 07:37

Yes Scrooge exactly. We're able to buy them a few nice things and I will buy them a few presents weather he wants them or not. I would feel too guilty other wise. It would be nice to organise things together though. Glad it's not me being unreasonable

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maroda16 · 13/11/2016 07:38

He is being vu!!! That's terrible, of course they should get presents for Christmas! I'd just buy them anyway, don't even tell him

Fuckingitup · 13/11/2016 07:39

Actually my list looks a bit joyless. They did get toys too.

RedStripeLassie · 13/11/2016 07:40

Do he get/want presents?

haveacupoftea · 13/11/2016 07:40

He sounds a bit unhinged.

Underthemoonlight · 13/11/2016 07:43

I would never dream of not making the effort for my DC. What message does it sent to the eldest that the baby didn't get anything there's plenty of 1year old toys out there. I'll have an 8 month old but he will be getting the same spent on him as my other two. It doesn't have to cost the earth or go over the top but I also like to think Christmas is a magical time for children and I enjoy the enjoyment they get on Christmas morning.

userqwerty · 13/11/2016 07:43

No he doesn't ever want presents which makes birthdays etc a nightmare. I plan on getting a few practical things like clothing

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RedStripeLassie · 13/11/2016 07:47

I don't get that. I love presents. Maybe he just doesn't realise most people do.
Does he appreciate the practical stuff or does he tell you it's a waste of money?

Underthemoonlight · 13/11/2016 08:01

That's up to him if he does like presents but don't let your DC suffer what an horrible childhood where presents would begrudged. I would happily go without present myself to see the faces of my DC on Christmas morning

Helliecopter · 13/11/2016 08:04

You're not BU - My H doesn't ever want presents because he says he doesn't want 'stuff' but I get him experiences and trips etc, without spending a fortune. He's a bit of a miser as well tbh, and it frustrates me. There's sensible and then there's downright mean! haha!

With the kids though, we tend to hold back a little at christmas. I want them to appreciate they get nice things, not that a volume of stuff is the main goal. One main present, a couple of other things that will always get used (lego also a big hit here and funnily enough H doesn't mind that!) and then a few bits of tat for their stockings. When I asked DCs what they wanted in their stocking top of the list was a satsuma!

Ditsy4 · 13/11/2016 08:13

Did he not have presents at Christmas when he was a child?
If your child is at school be assured they will be talking about it and helping them to write a list etc. how disappointing will that be for the five year old to come down and find nothing. Some people go overboard but we gave a stocking from Santa and one main present. We bought two smaller ones and one of those was clothes, a book and a game or jigsaw. The children gave each other a small gift think pocket money prices. We had four kids.
So agree pjs or a Christmas outfit especially little one.
Stocking- included things like hat and scarf,socks, mitts and some small cars, Thomas Tank etc, a satsuma and some sweets.
Main present: Lego ( brilliant, good for hand /eye co-ordination, fine motor skills) a garage they loved that. Daughter had a rocking horse one year.
Cooking set for baking was another popular gift. Scooters are popular at school.
Presents from us: I made pyjama cases one year as we were skint. They loved them. One had a clown and older boy knew and was sad he wasn't getting one but I had made him a polar bear so he could cuddle it. He was five and delighted. Other gifts were Lego sets. Like police station, fire station. Get him a special box to put it in. You'll have to watch toddler
eating it though. We also bought Dolphins from Croglin toys. They have wonderful wooden toys.They always had a new story book often Christmas related. Board games to play at 5 get DH to play!
Give other people ideas. So they don't buy tat but sometimes tat can be fun and then it breaks and you have to chuck it but fun while it lasted.
Why should DH stipulate about no presents! Five is a lovely magical age. Is DH a bit OCD? Or was he brought up as aJW? As that may explain his attitude. Is he obsessive about keeping the house tidy? My DH had A friend like that. His kids got a bike and a pram for Christmas. They had a teddy and a doll and no other toys.😥 They were behind their milestones!
Enjoy your Christmas with them mine are all grown up now

Leanback · 13/11/2016 08:14

Is he Jehovah's Witness or something?

Katy07 · 13/11/2016 08:17

You so need to get presents. And for your husband - how about an envelope containing divorce papers?! Miserable git.

userqwerty · 13/11/2016 08:48

I like to buy educational toys like orchard games, I think they're great and my 5yo loves them so will definitely be getting him to play them with her

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Nocabbageinmyeye · 13/11/2016 09:03

He sounds like he would suck the life and joy out of any occasion

Fuckingitup · 13/11/2016 09:11

My ex was like this but got a lot better. I started by saying that we need to avoid tat, so did he think he could buy a couple of good quality stocking fillers - and he got a bit drawn into the spirit of it. And he then enjoyed DC opening their stockings.

userqwerty · 13/11/2016 09:18

To be fair last year he said not to get dd much but nearer the time I think he was getting worried that she didn't have anything, even though I had her presents wrapped already so he suggested a couple of things. I think deep down he would be upset for her if she had nothing maybe he still thinks fc brings the presents so we don't need to bother

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