Doctors/nurses/HCPs! AIBU to ask you about male/female bowel movements?

(119 Posts)
LaContessaDiPlumpOnSea Sat 29-Oct-16 11:03:02

Is there some great difference between males and females in bowel terms that inevitably leads to male shits taking a minimum of 20 minutes while female ones always take 10 min or less? I am constantly amazed at how long DH takes on the pot.

The loo is very close to our kitchen so it's not exactly an oasis of peace, plus we have intrusive small children and no lock on the door. I can't see why he'd actively choose to set up home in there (wifi reception poor in there too!). We eat the same baseline diet (I'm vegan; he adds meat and dairy to his meals) but I don't remember taking this long even when I ate those things as well.

Please can someone advise as to any biological reason why his poos take forever?! I've quizzed him as to whether all men are like this but he's remaining reticent on the issue grin

blueshoes Sat 29-Oct-16 11:42:27

<Leaning in to wait for the answer>

CoffeeCoffeeAndLotsOfIt Sat 29-Oct-16 11:44:07

My DH is the same! And he always use to need a poo when it was time to give ds his tea!

GinAndOnIt Sat 29-Oct-16 11:44:22

Someone once said it's because men go to the loo and sit to see if they can poo, whereas a woman will wait until she needs a poo before going to the loo. I have to admit sometimes if I'm reading something, I don't realise how long I've been sat there!

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Sat 29-Oct-16 11:46:54

Following this thread with great interest!

Titsalinabumsquash Sat 29-Oct-16 11:48:35

DP says it takes him so long because he waits for it to happen naturally rather than pushing it out and then likes time to recover afterwards. hmmconfused

seminakedinsomebodyelsesroom Sat 29-Oct-16 11:49:08

Also following.... I swear my DHs hobby is pooing.

tulippa Sat 29-Oct-16 11:49:38

Exactly the same in my house. Also DS takes longer than DD too! Interested in an explanation!

U2HasTheEdge Sat 29-Oct-16 11:53:14

Yeah DH and my teen son take bloody ages and my husband especially stinks to high heaven.

Unless my IBS is playing up it takes me less than a minute to go.

DH goes three times a day as well, that is a lot of time in the toilet!

Sallycinnamum Sat 29-Oct-16 11:54:20

My DH faithfully poos twice a day without fail.

He is very slim and fit and reckons he has a fast metabolism so no food stays in him that long.

I marvel at his erm, regularity because I struggle to go twice a week. I'm literally constantly constipated! Maybe that's why I'm a stone overweight and he's not!

tulippa Sat 29-Oct-16 11:59:35

Yes we have the 3 times 20 minutes a day thing here too!

QueenLaBeefah Sat 29-Oct-16 12:00:18

I'd like to know too.

AyeAmarok Sat 29-Oct-16 12:02:08

Interesting thread. I shall wait around for an explanation too!

Also, I suspect that men, more often than women, do the type of poos that splatter the bowl. I have never found splatter after a woman uses the loo. Only men.

<strokes chin>

Nuggy2013 Sat 29-Oct-16 12:05:13

My DH has a regular time, before 9 am every single day. Following because his regularity pisses me off as he goes mental if anyone else uses the bathroom during his 'slot'.

Serialweightwatcher Sat 29-Oct-16 12:14:11

Because they can be lazy, selfish beggars and like to 'escape'

QueenLaBeefah Sat 29-Oct-16 12:15:04

Basically we are interested in the menstoolcycle. grin

BossWitch Sat 29-Oct-16 12:18:54

Yes! DH takes forever to shit. I agree about the not pushing thing - I think he just sits there and waits for gravity to work miracles , instead of my "pretend you're pushing out a baby again" method. Drives me mad! Glad I'm not alone in this frustration!

Girliefriendlikesflowers Sat 29-Oct-16 12:19:50

I am a nurse and i know of no biological reason for this phenomenon however I know it to be true wink

2kids2dogsnosense Sat 29-Oct-16 12:20:39

Because it is not just the lavatory . . . it is also the library. My DH disappears for a minimum of half an hour with a newspaper or book (and often a cup of tea).

We then have to leave it a further hour or so before is is fit for purpose for anyone else.

SecretSpy Sat 29-Oct-16 12:23:45

After many years of research as a woman, an HCP, and a parent, I am confident in announcing that some men take ages, because

They can.

Thank you, I'll be here all week.

cocoabuttersosoft Sat 29-Oct-16 12:25:45

The worst is when you realise you need to go but the bathroom is being hogged by a man thinking about going!

EBearhug Sat 29-Oct-16 12:26:11

I suspect this wasn't such a phenomenon in the days of outside, unheated privies.

2kids2dogsnosense Sat 29-Oct-16 12:30:19

Ebear

I bet you are right!

Tliev Sat 29-Oct-16 12:30:26

DH always needs a shit when the shopping needs putting away. Pisses me right off and he also takes ages to squeeze it out. I'm a nurse btw but no idea why their shits take longer. I just wish I could poo at all

helpimitchy Sat 29-Oct-16 12:43:36

I read an article once that said it was due to them needing to 'detach' from the outside world for a while. This has the effect of increasing their testosterone levels.

Presumably, if they didn't spend this long on the toilet, their testosterone levels would become so low that they'd turn into laydees and would therefore have to do the laundry and washing up.

I find they do it to avoid carrying out chores hmm the prospect of doing chores turns their bowels to liquid and makes them very stressed. They are then too afraid to get up off the toilet in case they make a mess on the floor. This in turn would just create an extra chore because they'd then have to clean up the mess they'd just made.

It is extremely difficult being a man and the place they feel is the safest is the toilet smile

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