The inlaws live abroad but still we have three young DC and:
- they rarely call - most communication is through DH's younger sister who still lives at home
- they never Skype - they've done it once after much much hassling from us
- they never ever visit and expect us instead to visit them. FIL has never met youngest DC despite him being incredibly sick when he was born. MIL and SIL came over once whilst he was in hospital only.
Indeed FIL has never visited England despite DH living here for 8+ years there's no reason why he shouldn't come (can afford it has no health issues etc)
- they never send cards/letters etc and presents are rare and from SIL only. We didn't get a card or present from them for youngest DC being born (and as noted above they didn't visit only quickly once when he was in hospital) but they did transfer some money to our account (id have preferred a visit and a babygrow personally)!
They are basically not involved at all and don't know their own grandchildren. They seem not to really care although will often ask us when will we next visit them.
I've had enough of getting upset about it. I used to email photos to SIL but don't bother now. It's their loss but Aibu to expect more from them?!