Today was my sons first day at school. He just turned 4 last week. I was nervous for him about how he would deal with the hustle and bustle. However he seemed okay. The children were only in for half the day. After collecting him we went to the park adjacent to his school. Many of the other reception children who were in today also stayed to play in the park after being dismissed.
A little girl was playing with a piece of equipment in the park and then moved on to another piece of equipment. My son started using what she had just left. She then came running back telling him to get off as it was hers. He laughed and continued to use this equipment whilst she chased him round it. He and I thought they were playing a game. After a while I took pity on her and asked my son to take turns and let her have a go. He left the piece of equipment reluctantly but stood near it whilst she was playing. He then tried to take it back again. At this point the girl started shoving my son and grabbing the front of his jumper. She even shouted at him that this was her park. As soon as they started pushing I jumped in and physically tried to move my son away from this girl. However she kept on at it even though I was there and I repeatedly kept telling her no pushing. Stop pushing. I was pulling my son away from her but she kept following and being aggressive. Finally her dad came running over and removed her from my son. She was holding on to the front of his jumper with both fists at this point. My son didn't seem too fazed by this and went back on to the piece of equipment. However me and another mum exchanged a look of what the hell just happened as she had witnessed the whole thing. The little girl went home shortly after.
Anyway when I told my h about this he sort of blamed me for not sticking up for my son. Apparently i shouldnt have told my son to let her have a turn after she had left the equipment. He also thinks i didnt do enough to protect my son when the girl attacked him. However there was nothing I could do without physically touching this child to stop her except try to get my son away from her. I did tell her to stop pushing but she ignored me. Should i have shouted at her or told her off more firmly? I wouldnt like that if someone did it to my child. He also thought I should have had a go at her dad or her but by the point her dad came over she had run off and he had gone after her. He said to her what do you think your doing but he didn't directly apologise to me or get her to apologise to my son. Should I have demanded an apology?
Anyway now I'm feeling pretty shit about myself and what happened. I have never been a confrontational person. I avoid it and he has made me feel that my desire to avoid confrontation made my son in to a victim. What do you think was IBU in not being more firm with this child? Her father was not near to her during the incident and came running over when he noticed how she wouldn't let go of my son. Or is my h being the unreasonable one by expecting me to have done more to stop this child from hitting my son.
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AIBU?
In how I reacted to this violent 4 year old
45 replies
Peculiarparenting · 05/09/2016 21:39
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