To want someone to back off,(OH)after I've repeatedly asked them !

(81 Posts)
MisDescamisados Sun 04-Sep-16 22:58:50

Short vent.
Man are so bloody fond of being in charge that they'll leap on anything and call it concern.

I have catarrh . Please don't suggest "cures" as a quick Google will inform you that for most of us , they are of little use .

Anyway, I cope with it. So I don't appreciate that "look" whenever I cough, because some idiot man - namely OH - saw a lung cancer infomercial.

I've never smoked , I'm not asthmatic, I'm never short of breath.....I just have year round allergies which generate snot, to be blunt .

But when I ask him to stop snooping around my health what do I get , from "Mr concerned "?
No a respectful " ok", but just a self exculpatory "it's just because I care".

No mate , you're taking charge , and I'm not a minor , so back off

Cherrysoup Sun 04-Sep-16 22:59:39

Should he not care about you?

MisDescamisados Sun 04-Sep-16 22:59:59

I'm well aware of symptoms and signs of pathologies, and I've none of them or predisposing factors. I'm so sick of being interrogated.

AverageGayLad Sun 04-Sep-16 23:00:43

He just sounds like he's worried about you confused

Do you expect him to stop caring cause you demand it?

WorraLiberty Sun 04-Sep-16 23:02:16

I've just checked and as far as I can tell, my DH is still a man.

He's not particularly fond of taking charge.

Well no more than I am, anyway.

AverageGayLad Sun 04-Sep-16 23:05:43

Worra I second him there confused

MaddyHatter Sun 04-Sep-16 23:05:56

i sympathise, i have the same problem.

i spend most of my time sniffing and blowing, i have a morning cough, i spend the first 2-3 hours of the day sneezeing with my nose running like a tap.

My sense of smell is shot.

luckily my DH has never felt the need to be a pain in the ass about it, other than handing me the tissues, a drink and my allergy meds!

Floopy21 Sun 04-Sep-16 23:06:33

You sound annoying to live with.

MinonsMovie Sun 04-Sep-16 23:07:20

YABU
Have you seen a doctor? If not then you should. You are a partnership. If dh is unwell I take acception to him not taking care of himself.
His health has consequences for our whole family, as does mine. We have a mutual responsibility to take care of ourselves and each other.

MisDescamisados Sun 04-Sep-16 23:07:29

@avaragegaylad.
I'm not demanking anything, I've ASKED months now , for him to stop .
It's hardly respectful of anyone to ignore their feelings , especially to carry on being so intrusive.
How would you like being ignored?

MaddyHatter Sun 04-Sep-16 23:08:26

Average, there is not a need to worry when there is nothing wrong, catarrh is just bloody annoying.

it doesn't mean we have a cold
it doesn't mean we have asthma (i do, but its controlled)
it doesn't mean we have cancer because we cough.

if he's going on like the OP says, then he's being fucking annoying and it would do anyones head in.

The op is an adult, her DH should stop clucking.

MsVestibule Sun 04-Sep-16 23:08:27

My DH isn't too keen on taking charge either, so don't think it's a man thing!!

Florene Sun 04-Sep-16 23:09:07

I had something that sounds similar for months. Now use prescribed nasal spray daily and take cetirizine. Cough now gone. Worth a try?

MisDescamisados Sun 04-Sep-16 23:10:05

Minonsmovie. I've even had chest x rays on the paste. It's catarrh.
I'm a WEMT , ECP, BATLS tech and DMT, I have no predisposing factors or signs/symptoms and I've never smoked .
All CXRs have been clear. I'm a assic cases of ambulatory snot machine lol

(Though most of gaby was in the OP)

HateSummer Sun 04-Sep-16 23:10:18

Maybe he's getting annoyed with the yucky coughing sounds? And he probably cares about his ears more than your health I bet but is being nice about it.

(Just another way to look at it grin)

MisDescamisados Sun 04-Sep-16 23:10:26

In the past. Can't type
Soz

MisDescamisados Sun 04-Sep-16 23:11:12

Nor have I had any funny looking moles .

Arfarfanarf Sun 04-Sep-16 23:11:54

So - you cough a lot and youve told him its catarrh but he's worried anyway?

What a bastard. grin

Remind him the dr has diagnosed catarrh and said there is nothing to be done.

But is he trying to control yo or is he just someone who loves you?

My husband is similar. He feels this need to do something. It isnt because he wants to control me it's because he hates feeling helpless when someone he loves has a problem.

Sadly it is often a case of 'i must do Something. This is Something. I will do this'

And it's infuriating but recognise it for what it is.

What exactly is he saying or doing that is maddening and controlling?

MisDescamisados Sun 04-Sep-16 23:12:09

Hate phone keyboard and being unable to edit on MN

MisDescamisados Sun 04-Sep-16 23:13:16

Are. Lol, I see what you mean but he's just NOT listening.
It's like he had to be the boss of everyone .

MaddyHatter Sun 04-Sep-16 23:13:22

Mis, why would any of that matter?

its only the sinuses mucous membranes being a little more active than needed?

What on earth would dodgy moles have to do with it?

MisDescamisados Sun 04-Sep-16 23:13:41

Arf , even . Bloody phone

MaddyHatter Sun 04-Sep-16 23:14:32

Florene, i tried a couple of those.. they murdered my sense of smell, so i stopped.

its still not recovered properly!

Alibobbob Sun 04-Sep-16 23:14:55

Just tell him it's an allergy. All checked out and nothing to worry about.

Arfarfanarf Sun 04-Sep-16 23:15:20

What is he asking/demanding of you?

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