what's Posh & what's not

[Tellmewhywhywhy]

Please some one enlighten me about - what makes one posh & some not. The request for enlightenment, comes post frequent episodes of cold shouldering from one of the Mum's at school. I suspect that " Posh Not" might be the reason for such behaviour. 😉

[OhTheRoses]

If she was properly posh she would be nice.

[shaggedthruahedgebackwards]

I wouldn't waste time analysing the behaviour of someone shallow enough to cold shoulder you for being "not posh"

[Shallishanti]

errr maybe the OP is 'posh' and the cold shouldering one is not?

[acasualobserver]

Anyone who's worried about being posh actually isn't.

[elQuintoConyo]

'Posh' is rising above such bollocks.

[Tellmewhywhywhy]

I ( OP) am not posh 😊. I wouldn't worry so much if our children weren't friends. Her behaviour makes it impossible , to arrange play dates and other social things for the kids. I have tried being nice for DD's sake but it hasn't worked. The cold shouldering continues

[80sMum]

There's a difference between being posh and being a snob, OP. I suspect that the person you're referring to falls into the latter category. Don't let it bother you. Move on to a nicer person.

[Spiderpigspiderpig]

She's probably just a pretentious snob rather than posh

[littlepeas]

Someone who worries about being posh is not posh.

[TiggyD]

She's posh, but has no 'class'.

I always think to myself "what would David Niven do?", then do that.

[alfagirl73]

In my experience, people who are genuinely posh are actually very down to earth, graceful, classy, sincere and above all, lovely. It's the ones who are pretending to be posh that are usually unpleasant.

[NataliaOsipova]

I always think to myself "what would David Niven do?", then do that.

Love it!

[roseteapot101]

she sounds like a snob rather than being posh.Posh means to be a educated individual

snobbish means to think your above someone because you have money or class

[DiegeticMuch]

She's not worth it.

[Teddy1970]

Spot on alfagirl73 for example the Queen isn't a snob because she's got nothing to be snobby about, people who do behave in a "snobby" way are often insecure and worried about their social standing..pathetic, (think Hyacinth) I've met a couple aristocrats over the years but you would never know it because they have impeccable manners and don't behave like an arse..

[VanillaSugar]

OP- why do you think that you're not posh and that the other school mum is?

[Tellmewhywhywhy]

In terms of my social skills and etiquettes I can say with 100% confidence, that I don't come across as uncultured. I guess it comes down to money then. I don't drive an expensive car & don't wear high end stuff. I guess the absence of designer logos makes me look less sociable to her.

[Cookingongas]

She's not posh. She's a twat.

I'm married into a posh family- it's hard and the idea that they are impeccably polite is only true when they aren't having to do so regularly and the politeness falters when it means they actually have to accept you long term - despite knowing nothing about shares and having been in a comprehensive school. But they are never openly rude or horrible. They never avoid. They never sneer. They're posh and find my difference / their ignorance of my life experiences and, indeed, my ignorance of their life experiences - a challenge but they don't exclude me.

That's the sign of a horrible person not a posh one

[Spaghettidog]

You're confusing visible signs of wealth and social class. Either way, she sounds like a wanker.

[kurlique]

Driving a rubbish car keeps the social climbers away... I love it as it means I don't have to put up with their BS and be naice to them because I was drug up proper like.

[Iwasjustabouttosaythat]

Why do you think it's to do with whether you're "posh" or not? Could there be another reason? Is she only like this with you?

[KoalaDownUnder]

I don't really understand why you'd jump to the conclusion that it's 'posh-ness' (or lack thereof) that is the issue.

[swisschocolate]

I always think to myself "what would David Niven do?", then do that.

Having read his autobiography that rules out very little.

[Skittlesss]

Maybe she just doesn't have time for play dates etc?

In my daughter's old school class/group not many parents worked so they arranged play dates in holidays etc. I'm not able to do so as I work full time and we have family time at weekends. I'm too tired to meet after work (chronic illness and it's just too late after dinner!). One lady used to ask me to meet up so the kids could play but didn't seem to get that I couldn't. It would have been nice to do play dates but we just never had the same time free.

[VanillaSugar]

Ah. Got it. No, she's not posh and she doesn't have any class either.

She is very insecure. She is self-made. Regard her as a chav with money and you'll feel better about yourself.

I read something brilliant the other day - "No matter what you do, you'll be judged. So you might as well do what you want to anyway."

I have this type of mum at DS's school. One of my cars is a battered old thing which I use for muddy days out & for shifting furniture etc. We changed schools and I was mostly ignored because I didn't drive a 4x4. Then I appeared one morning in my naice car. One mum gave me the look as if to say "What are you doing driving that car? You're the POOR mum???"

They can just F off. OP - don't be defined by visible shows of wealth. They mean nothing. Watch the Grayson Perry series about the class system and it will tell you ever thing that you need to know.