Name changed as this is identifying and slightly vague as well.
A few years ago I went through a divorce, the divorce was simple, he pays more in Child Maintenance then required, etc but it was also absolutely life shattering
My parents helped financially and emotionally. I had to remove DS out of prep school and they went above and beyond helping to settle him in his new school, introducing us to new people, they helped with school pick up, drop offs at activities, organised play dates, paid to decorate his new bedroom as we moved closer to them, all round just amazing.
Most of that stopped after 2 years, as DS and I settled in and DS was old enough to take himself places, we still see them almost daily and they've refused to allow me to pay them back financially, so I do all I can to help out in other ways.
My sister who lives close by is now going through a very bitter divorce, the proceedings started months ago, she has three teens all in fee paying secondary schools, which STBX brother in law is now refusing to pay, she can't make mortgage payments on her own, their's only 2 years left of mortgage payments but as he's moved out, STBX brother in law is again refusing to pay, he's the only one that works, so DSis has no income of her own.
My parents have offered her no help whatsoever, it's been the elephant in the room and today it's finally come to a head, I've completely kept out of it but today, she sent me a very long, slightly insulting text message, calling me selfish, jealous, rude, awful etc for not talking to my parents about helping her out financially or offering to help her myself, referring to the amount of child maintenance I receive
I've offered to help her in lots of way, just not financially, as I can't afford to give her the amount of money she keeps referring to, I've offered to help her look for a smaller property, new schools, I have an accountant friend who is willing to look over her finances for a discount, she's turned me down at every opportunity.
The issue with my DSis is that she wants to maintain her current lifestyle but instead of STBX brother in law paying she expects our parents to do so. I don't think it's appropriate at all that I ask them why they haven't offered to help.
I think she needs to accept her lot in life and try and sort things out, her DCs are all enrolled in their fee paying schools, she's going through her savings just to be able to afford the fees and it's not enough to get all three through school, pay the mortgage and life off, she needs to try and find some sort of employment but she's not even willing to look, I know it's tough but this has been going on for months and it's only going to get worse.
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To think DSis needs a wake up call
47 replies
GetItDown · 17/08/2016 16:43
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