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Original poster

Anyone else have these morbid thoughts (baby)

100 replies

ByTheWater · 03/08/2016 16:01

N:c in case I'm properly weird

Walking with newborn (5 days) along riverside, had this awful thought that I could drop - or even in a moment of madness, tip - her over the barrier and she'd be totally done for. Just the thought of her sinking in the water with no means of saving herself scared the shit out of me.

The thought of her being so vulnerable and with only me to keep her safe left me really breathless and panicky. And then I wanted to cry at how little and helpless she is.

She's not my pfb and I remember having similar thoughts near a large pond with my eldest.

Why the hell would my brain do that to me?

OP posts:
bitemyshinymetalass · 03/08/2016 16:02

I think thats totally normal. Its just your protective instincts messing with your mind.

ammature · 03/08/2016 16:02

Happens me all the time. It's awful isn't it

OreosAreTasty · 03/08/2016 16:03

It's a biological reaction I believe. Some kind of protection method. I looked into it when my mum and sister both chatted about suffering the same thoughts.
I think it's quite common.
I don't personally have it but then I don't have kids yet

WaffleOverload · 03/08/2016 16:03

It's got a name and it's totally normal

Not nice though

MrPony · 03/08/2016 16:04

God knows but I love to torture myself with thoughts like that too. I can bring myself to tears imagining ds being killed, thinking of his funeral etc.

It's obsessive thoughts and the only way I can control mine is by distracting myself.

Beesneeze82 · 03/08/2016 16:04

I've had a similar thing when DS was a baby. I think it's natural. You become hypervigilant in assessing risk. It's unsettling I agree.

MaisieDotes · 03/08/2016 16:05

Yes, I got this with all of my DC. My brain would picture what horrible things could happen to them in any given situation.

For me it faded as the months passed.

Babyzoo · 03/08/2016 16:05

I have strange thoughts at times, like imagining the pram rolling away and not being able to catch it.

Original poster
ByTheWater · 03/08/2016 16:06

Oh - Pleased it's a 'thing' at least

OP posts:
twirlypoo · 03/08/2016 16:08

I still get this and Ds is 4 now!

It's horrid, I often worry I am going to jinx things too by thinking about them happening.

Vanillaradio · 03/08/2016 16:08

I had this all the time. The worst was stairs I always pictured dropping ds down them. It has got better over time.

ToriaPumpkin · 03/08/2016 16:11

I've had this with both my DC. They're 2 and almost 5 now and it's getting better. Intrusive thoughts my counsellor called it (I had treatment for anxiety after DD was born, this was a small part of it). It's the same kind of thing as picturing car accidents when driving or wondering what would happen if you jumped off a bridge. I don't know many people who haven't had it at some point.

LittleLionMansMummy · 03/08/2016 16:12

Yes it's because they're totally helpless at that age. It passes (a little) as they get older. But then new fears take over instead! I don't think parents ever stop worrying, however old their dc are! The trick is to not let the anxieties take over.

badg3r · 03/08/2016 16:12

I get this too! Also hate standing anywhere near the edge of the platform at train stations when trains go past.

Writerwannabe83 · 03/08/2016 16:15

This happens to me all the time. I have really random thoughts and visions about harm coming to my DS and picturing how that might me, especially falling down the stairs. I get so upset when I think about so I don't know why I keep doing it Grin

I'm pretty sure most mothers do it - it must be some kind of innate protective issue over our children.

BestZebbie · 03/08/2016 16:15

Yes, that is normal - I used to vividly imagine the whole pushchair (or car and car seat) sinking with the baby strapped in several times a day. It gets a bit better as they get older.
As I understand it, the idea is to flag up risks so you can avoid them - but I'm not sure why they have to be flagged up repeatedly!

datingbarb · 03/08/2016 16:16

I'm exactly the same! Are you scared of the water at all? I can swim but I really don't like water, I can cope with a pool but sea , rivers, lakes scare the shit out of me! I have these thoughts and they scare the hell out of me, I live near a river and I'm a nightmare when we are out on a walk I won't let dd 22 months within 10 metres of the bank makes feeding ducks hard

Summerblaze100 · 03/08/2016 16:23

I won't go on a balcony holding any child including one that doesn't move around as I have palpitations that they are going to fall over.

Heatherplant · 03/08/2016 16:25

TRIGGERING Yeh, happens all the time. I spent months and months expecting to find DS deceased after a nights sleep and also have an irrational fear of both children being hit by a car. It's very unlikely to happen and I can rationalize the fear but it's still there. Just thought it was because it's the sort of thing I've seen/heard about through my job didn't realize lots of people get it too.

Sandsnake · 03/08/2016 16:25

Yep, all the time and DS is nearly 9 months. I'm not even a particularly anxious person but still regularly have the weird 'what if I let the pushchair in the river / road/ train track' moments with accompanied panic and then relief when I remember I won't actually do that... Having a baby has definitely made me weirder!

puzzledbyadream · 03/08/2016 16:26

The train platform thing is l'appel du vide or "the call of the void". I was very pleased to have a name for it!

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 03/08/2016 16:27

I used to have intrusive thoughts about my pet budgie. Blush Blush

I used to imagine him flying into the microwave/oven and me turning it on without realising he was in there.

Your worries are much more ... respectable, OP.

2ManySweets · 03/08/2016 16:28

You are not alone. I'm dealing with ongoing anxiety issues right now that started when my DD was born 6 months ago - they are easing but fuck me, when they hit they are awful.

Catastrophic visions include:
Falling down the stairs
Standing on her head when she's on the floor
"Throwing" her on the floor and smacking her head
Somehow catching her on the temple with my elbow by accident and severely injuring her.
Also:
Being convinced she has died when she's sleeping in the car seat

I am still teasing the threads of my brain apart to work out if I'm officially going round the twist or if it's "just motherhood".

Strokethefurrywall · 03/08/2016 16:28

Yes, agree that it's a thing and totally normal but also to say that I found Bach Flower Rescue Remedy really helped me with this.

I found it stopped intrusive thoughts and kind of gave my brain a chance to rest. I would really recommend it, it's brilliant stuff.

SlimCheesy2 · 03/08/2016 16:28

Yes I had it too. Totally normal I understand. I did have PND though, so it may be something to do with that. DS is 6 now, but I still have thoughts along the lines of 'what if?' My personal opinion is that your mind is acting out moments of crisis so that you can be ready to leap in if something awful happens. That's just my theory though!

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