to think she's not eating enough?

[happylittlefish]

Dd13 is quite skinny and very small for her age. She's really active but I'm convinced she's not eating enough. Yesterday she had

• 2 weetabix with milk
• Chicken sandwich, apple
• Salmon fillet, rice, broccoli

She complains of being hungry but doesn't eat anything except her meals.
What do your kids eat? How can I ensure she eats enough?

[SpiceLinerandHoneyLove]

That sounds like a very healthy and balanced menu for one day. If she is hungry can you increase the portions? Eating between meals shouldn't be encouraged.

[XiCi]

I think that sounds absolutely fine, healthy and balanced. Why do you think it's not enough?

[happylittlefish]

I think its not enough because usually she eats a lot more, and so do all my other kids. She's mentioned wanting to be 'healthier' lately but seems to be skimping on the calories because of it.

[Tomselleckhaskindeyes]

It is very balanced for an adult who is losing weight. I personally don't think it's enough. She could do with more dairy for a start such as yogurts, cheese and milk. Teenagers do tend to need high calorie food.

[VioletBam]

If she's doing an hour of gymnastics and walking 4 miles a day then it's not enough. If she's driven to school and does no sports, it's fine.

[VioletBam]

Agree about maybe milk and cheese being added. If she complains of hunger, she could maybe have a yogurt? Full fat? Or some milk and a biscuit.

[Sellingyesterdaysnews]

It's exactly the sort of thing I eat ATM, it's healthy and I am on a calorie control of about 1400.
Actually I'm not eating bread and wouldn't eat a bowl of cereal either but the salmon yes.
It's kphealthy but it's probably only about 1200 to 1400 calories

[Noonesfool]

Is this the daughter who has had a couple of bouts of anorexia, OP?

[sleepwhenidie]

Discuss with her how hunger is a sign that you need to eat, in the same way that we feel the need to sleep or pee! Problems start when we stop listening to our appetite, ignoring hunger or the fact that there is no sense of it. There are plenty of healthy things she should eat if she feels hungry... full fat dairy as pp said, fruit, raw nuts, nut butter, avocado, raw veg and houmous, a bit of homemade cake occasionally won't hurt either

[happylittlefish]

No, this is her twin sister 😊 the one struggling with anorexia is eating more than her.
I'm pretty sure she doesn't have an ED, as she wolfs down meals, but she's not eating enough and I don't know why. I'm going shopping today so will grab some nuts & yogurts etc for her

[Noonesfool]

Ah, ok.
It must be a nightmare for you trying to make sure she eats well, whilst also not making food more of an issue in the house than it already is - it's impossible to live with someone with a sever eating disorder with food becoming a "family issue", certainly IME?

[MadSprocker]

You sound like you have more experience than most about recognising disordered eating. Can she go shopping with you to choose things, or help plan meals, or is that a big no no and triggering for your other daughter?

This is just my personal view, but I think there is a big difference between an adult eating healthily, and a growing teenagers diet, particularly if they are on the underweight side (I was a fussy, skinny teen).

The food you mention have quite bland tastes. Is she into flavour? I would include a dessert with dinner to up calories.

[amidawish]

"She complains of being hungry but doesn't eat anything except her meals."

if she is hungry why doesn't she look for something to eat in between meals? could you get some healthy high calorie food (nuts, avocado on oat crackers etc..)
or is she still hungry after her meals?
she could try a 2 egg omelette for breakfast. weetabix leaves me ravenous, like my insides eating themselves! never understood why.

[happylittlefish]

Yes, food is a huge issue at the moment. I've got ds16, dd16, ds14, 2 dd's13, dd12, ds11 and ds9. The 3 eldest eat absolutely loads, one dd13 with an ED, the other not eating enough, dd12 underweight atm, and ds's 11 & 9 are going through growth spurts.
We don't usually have 'treats' often and all the kids are healthy, but I have started buying nuts, trail mix, dried fruit, avocados, full fat dairy etc. Food is so much of an issue in our house at the moment.

[Noonesfool]

That sounds really difficult OP. Busy house, too! 😮

What kind of support are you getting for this? Is your daughter still working with someone re her ED?

How do you feel about food?

[happylittlefish]

It is a busy house!! Only ds14, the 13 yo dd's and ds9 are biologically mine, the rest are fostered/adopted 😊

Yes, she is currently receiving help for her ED. We have a dietician and a counsellor and so far is doing very well - its her twin sister that's the current problem with food.

I feel no problems around food (apart from the cost!!). We eat mostly healthy through the week, have some junk at weekends, get takeaways on special occasions etc. I have quite a laidback approach to it all.

[ThePigeon314]

That is like what i eat. My dd two inches taller than i am a stone lighter and eats like a horse. She is 13.
So never attempts to 'resist' hunger!!
Is your dd resisting hunger :-/

[Witchend]

That is more than dd1 eats in a day usually, and she's fine. It's also healthier than dd1.

What do you say when she says she's hungry? Do you offer stuff or tell her to wait till the next meal?

[TheRoadToRuin]

You have more experience with feeding teenagers than the majority of MN happy !

It sounds like the diet for an adult who is trying to lose weight. It doesn't sound enough for a growing 13 year old. I think you need to tell her you are worried and explain how important it is to eat well during puberty and that it's it isn't actually healthy to eat too little.

[Noonesfool]

Has twin sister had some support about her sister's eating? It must throw up some issues for her? Her diet sounds very controlled.

You have a lot on your plate OP - sounds like you're doing a fab job.

It's good that your girl with the ED is doing so well, hope that continues.

[happylittlefish]

She's been eating this way for about a week because she has lots of sporting events coming up and wants to be healthy for them. By eating healthier, she's eating less. When she's hungry, I tell her to eat but she says she's fine. I'm going to have a talk with her explaining that its fine to eat when you're hungry and so on

[PridePrejudiceZombies]

It would be fine for a sedentary adult, very healthy. For a very active teenager who is presumably still growing, it's not a great deal unless the portions are big. If she's feeling hungry, that might be a sign she needs more, though I agree with a pp lots of teens do go through phases of eating not much. I'd encourage her to have some form of proteiny snack when she's hungry. Or even something like a banana. Emphasise that she could add a bit more food and still be eating extremely healthily.

[happylittlefish]

And just to add, she is very supportive of her sister and encourages her to eat. I think she's too busy trying to help others than to help herself sometimes

[TheOnlyColditz]

Maybe her sports coaches could talk to her about what they expect her to be eating? It's a good healthy diet but if she's hungry she needs more and that is that. Her appetite is not her enemy, I wonder if she understands this?