AIBU to still love co-sleeping with my 9 year old?

(60 Posts)
freewheelingfox Fri 24-Jun-16 23:35:27

Controversial topic, but a personal experience for both the like-minded and the not-so-much-so...

DS and I have co-slept on and off since he was an infant - sometimes more when there is emotional turmoil (i.e., when me and his dad split), sometimes just for "sleepovers" as he's got older, and recently because he was struggling to settle himself to sleep (his mind races) so I thought, hey why not try some of the meditation / mindfulness training I am currently practicing with him?

So we sleep in the same bed together, doing a guided mindfulness meditation (body scan, for those who are familiar) at bedtime and he falls asleep sometimes 30 seconds in (like the first few nights), and sometimes after 15 mins or so (more recently), which is an improvement over the 30 mins to an hour we used to spend just chatting to exhaust his mind from all he'd stored up over the day! Now he really loves the practice and craves it - he asks every night for me to put on "the guy" (it's guided by a male voice), and we listen together, and many times we both end up dropping off together.

This is the part that I love, and that's just for me - sometimes he wakes up in the night, and in his half-sleep he says "I love you mom." It's the best part of my day, and the sun hasn't even come up. Don't get me wrong, he's a loving kid, so I hear that a lot, but to hear it when he's barely conscious, and in the quiet and peace of the night, is just priceless.

I know this won't go on forever - he will grow tired of "the guy" or he'll get into another independence stage and insist on his own bed (maybe with "the guy", maybe not), but regardless I am treasuring every night I get of this experience.

Sending this into the ether for others who still enjoy their kids' cuddles through the night - just my experience, one person among many, and it's a controversial topic, but I just wanted to share.

OvO Fri 24-Jun-16 23:41:12

I'm in bed next to my 8.5y old right now. grin

It's nice to hear of others still cosleeping at this age as I often find that when people talk about cosleeping with older children then mean about 3 or 4y old.

My DS talks in his sleep so I enjoy gibberish conversations with him, they make me laugh!

Shakey15000 Fri 24-Jun-16 23:41:35

Not a chance with my 9yr old DS. Aside from his farts and inability to sleep without ending up diagonally across the bed. Plus he's been in his own bed since about 3 and now, wouldn't give up his double bed strewn with books and Top Gear magazines.

PacificDogwod Fri 24-Jun-16 23:43:17

Sounds lovely.
And it works for you, so enjoy smile

My DSs would tell me where to go… grin

TooMuchCoffeeMakesMeZoom Fri 24-Jun-16 23:45:03

YABU for having the patience to do 'guided mindfulness meditation'.

Not for child wrangling.

NoMudNoLotus Fri 24-Jun-16 23:46:15

Agree OP smile

We also do guided meditations , my DC love them.

mushroomsontoast Fri 24-Jun-16 23:47:19

I'm desperately trying to get cosleeping 6yo out of my bed, I was kind of hoping she would grow out of it by 9!

On the other side, YANBU, there is something very lovely about having her lying next to me at night, and being woken up with "mummy I love you" ... But the bedtime routine is killing me confused

user1466806302 Fri 24-Jun-16 23:47:54

Sounds great, I TRY to co-sleep with my kids but usually end up on the floor or on the sofa because they sleep ON you, OVER you, Horizontal, On your face, Kicked in the face....but yeah if it works...I lived with my gran and slept in her bed with her until I was 12.

mammmamia Fri 24-Jun-16 23:48:09

Interested in this thread as I co sleep with my 6 year old and she's showing no signs of moving on!

TheseLittleEarthquakes Fri 24-Jun-16 23:49:26

We've just bought our nearly 5 to a new bed. He now wants to sleep in that rather than our bed. I thought I'd be thrilled. In fact I was distraught. Colour me thrilled when he snuck in at 3am last night and woke me up this morning with cuddles and 'I love you mummy, wake up'.

My 13yo last crept in to bed a couple of years ago and I was aware it was a rare treat. Made me very sad. Yanbu.

IlPorcupinoNilSodomyEst Fri 24-Jun-16 23:49:38

Ah that's sweet! Whenever DH is away, DS (11) moves n with me - I have to say he's less snory and fidgety than DH is!

moanyhole Fri 24-Jun-16 23:51:05

I cosleep with ds1 who is 9 also. he is a worrier and hates the dark/ being alone at night, so he sleeps with me. Dh sleeps in another room with the younger two, suits us all

meatloaf Fri 24-Jun-16 23:52:02

Solely with my mum until I was 12

meatloaf Fri 24-Jun-16 23:52:55

*I co slept

Lonnysera Fri 24-Jun-16 23:53:42

We cosleep with our 3! Eldest is 7 and we just bought bigger beds! It's lovely. Like camping but actually pleasant!

3perfectweemen Fri 24-Jun-16 23:53:58

It's absolutely lovely. I think a child still willing to sleep with their mum is still innocent. Slot of kids think they too cool. I let my ds in beside me he coming nine and I love watching him sleep and he still my baby. smile

Dillite2 Fri 24-Jun-16 23:54:02

Another one who has a co-sleeping 6 year old. She had her own bed but only slept in it until midnight if that. And had night terrors every night. Now she's with me full time and sleeps 8-8, no nightmares, no sleepwalking. I do not enjoy being woken up in the mornings though.

kelper Fri 24-Jun-16 23:54:21

My DS will appear at some point tonight as DH is away, and DS feels sorry for me sleeping on my own :-/ I don't feel sorry for me at all!!
He goes through phases of needing someone to sleep with him, even if its just the dog, plus he prefers my mattress for some reason.
I'm secretly dreading the day he doesn't want to snuggle up and mumble to me.

kelper Fri 24-Jun-16 23:54:50

Sorry, forgot to put his age, 8.5 yrs

Sleepybeanbump Fri 24-Jun-16 23:57:19

I was feeling alone because I cosleep with 6month old DS, and have no intention of stopping any time soon or moving him to his own room yet. Everyone around me is very keen to get the kids out of their room and is very head tilty about it!

HerRoyalFattyness Fri 24-Jun-16 23:59:13

My 7 and a half year old still climbs in bed with me if he's unwell or upset. I don't mind too much but he is very fidgety! I couldn't do it every night, but if it works for you then why not. I used to sleep in with my mum sometimes when I was 14/15. We would watch a film together snuggled in her bed and both end up falling asleep grin (I'm 24 and have no problem sleeping on my own! In fact with 3 children I love to be in my bed on my own grin)

Dontneedausername Sat 25-Jun-16 00:02:56

I randomly slept in with my mum til 1 was about 12 shock
My dad worked offshore, 3 on 3 off, and my sister and I would take it in turns!
It was just lovely to snuggle in with mum except when bratty little sister would try and get in the middle

janey77 Sat 25-Jun-16 00:04:30

My DD is 5, and I can't pretend I'm dreading the day she doesn't want to come in for a cuddle, or sleep in with me when her dad's on nights.....my MIL is very disapproving of co sleeping so just out of peevishness I hope it doesn't end anytime soon grin

HerRoyalFattyness Sat 25-Jun-16 00:07:36

And tonight I have my 2 and a half year old in with me. She woke up not feeling very well so we are snuggled up in my big bed.

RonaldMcDonald Sat 25-Jun-16 00:14:07

I had all three of mine in last night. There is just me and it is a super King but really.
I love it. It won't last but I will have every last minute that I can

Great work to all you sleep wranglers

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