AIBU to ditch the cleaner?

[welshpolarbear]

I haven't posted before so please forgive me if things aren't done correctly, but I am in need of opinions!

A friend recommended a cleaner 4 weeks ago, she came to see me and was to start on the Friday. Friday came, she cancelled (childcare issues) , she came last week and did a so/so job. I still had to run the hoover around after . Then this morning, she cancelled again (her bathroom had flooded so needed to wait in for plumber.)

So fair enough, the two reasons are valid, but she's cancelled 2 out of 3 cleans and it's not a great start.

She spent most of last week chatting and not cleaning, I need the rest, which is why I can't do it all myself so didn't need someone telling me what I should do for my little ones cough, where he should sleep, that my house is small, and also was noseying in my things asking me about them.

What should I do, I feel unreasonable to ditch, but who wants someone so unreliable?

PS: Never had a cleaner before so this might be a fairly usual problem???

[Chorltonswheelies422]

Were you clear about the standards you expected and agreed with her what she was expected to do in the time?

If not, do that now. If you did, then tell her she's not meeting standards and you need someone who will.

Re: cancelling - same comment - we've all had times when one thing after another crops up but it's agreeing in advance how you'll be told and how it will be made up - e.g does that mean you go a week without a clean or will she do another day instead.

[Greyponcho]

Perhaps have a list of what you want doing, how you want it doing (using which products/methods etc,) and ask if she thinks it's achievable in the time.
As for the chatting, maybe apologise and say you need to make some important phonecalls, or get on and do something in another room.
Maybe give her another chance, if there's no improvement then make excuses tell her circumstances have changed and you have to give her notice.

[welshpolarbear]

Yes re. the standards and what is to be done, she also said that if she was off her auntie would come instead so I wouldn't be left without.

I will now have to wait a week, and do it myself.

[Greengager]

Don't h ave someone in your home you are not comfortable with. She doesn't sound committed to getting the job amine. Find someone who is.

[Greengager]

Done

[harshbuttrue1980]

Gosh, how awful, truly a pearl clutching moment. I can't believe you had to actually clean your own house! She should have just let her bathroom flood, who care's about a pleb's bathroom flooding when you need to rest! And as for her childcare issues, well, surely she could have just left her kids on their own? Your hoovering is MUCH more important!

Are you for real?? She had two totally genuine excuses - did you honestly expect her to prioritise you over these important issues? Would YOU go to work if your bathroom was flooding or if you had to leave your kids alone? Let her make up the hours at another time and stop being so bloody self-centred.

[welshpolarbear]

Thanks for your kind words.

[welshpolarbear]

Thanks Greyponcho, good tips re the chatting. I will make a list next time. Greengager, I think you may have hit the nail on the head. I am uncomfortable with her in my house.

[impostersyndrome]

I have a cleaner and I've never had to clean after her. That's absurd! you shouldn't feel bad about saying this isn't good enough. You're paying good money for a service. Fair enough to cancel for good reason, but she should give you good notice (harshbuttrue you truly live up to your name - that is uncalled for).

[welshpolarbear]

Harshbuttrue I am not a self-centered person at all. To make an unfair comment about having to do my own house without knowing the circumstances is ridiculous. I have had multiple operations this year, home alone with a little one, and have still struggled on. I have felt guilty for even thinking about getting a cleaner, and it wasn't until the Dr told me to get help that I actually went ahead with it. I didn't come hear for you to try and make me feel like cr*p.

[gamerchick]

Ignore harsh OP its talking out its backside.

Bin her off and start again and tell your friend not to recommend bad workers in future.

[StealthPolarBear]

Oh ffs harsh. No I wouldn't go to work if mu bathroom flooded or childcare let me down. But I'd be expected to make up the time else I'm not doing my job.

[welshpolarbear]

*here

[shrunkenhead]

I help a friend out with cleaning and if I can't make my usual day I check she's happy with me popping in to clean another day. That way she doesnt have to go a week between cleans or do it herself. That's reasonable and works for us.

[Whatdoidohelp]

She is an employee, if she isn't doing what she is paid for then let her go.

[myusernamewastaken]

I would be annoyed with receiving unwanted advice from the cleaner....i would sack her for that alone x

[TheGreatSnafu]

I agree with myuser unwanted advice, going through your things - very unprofessional. Just find somebody else.

[MartinaJ]

Gosh, how awful, truly a pearl clutching moment. I can't believe you had to actually clean your own house! She should have just let her bathroom flood, who care's about a pleb's bathroom flooding when you need to rest! And as for her childcare issues, well, surely she could have just left her kids on their own? Your hoovering is MUCH more important!

My employer doesn't care about my childcare issues or anything else. They expect me to be at work Mo-Fri, they can of course accommodate special circumstances but if I were new to my company, I'd try to do my very best to be there always and on time. I'd expect the same from anyone I'd employ. My cleaner is my employee and I have one and am not ashamed to admit it. She earns good money and I don't have to spend hours of my free time cleaning so there's two sides there who are happy. She's not a plebs and I don't treat her as such. Btw, if her aunt can take care of the cleaning, she can take over childcare too, especially as she is just starting.

You talk like the cleaner is doing her a favour by cleaning her house instead of being paid to do her job. That's just completely ridiculous. Also talking instead of cleaning and going through OP's things - an absolute no.

[CantChoose]

My cleaner only actually shows up for just over 50% of the times she is supposed to. It irritates the hell out of me. She's one of those 'family first' people which is admirable but the reasons she'll not come are trivial at best and always last minute.
I work long hours in a stressful job (which of course is why I can afford a cleaner I suppose!) and I have to be almost dead to not show up. I was brought up not to let people down if you have an arrangement...
I have come to accept that her work ethic is a million miles away from mine. But as soon as I find someone new she'll be getting the boot.
I don't think you're unreasonable at all, it's hardly the best start. Perhaps this has been a very unlucky few weeks for her, id give her another month but if it doesn't improve get out ASAP!!
As for the Hoover, it depends - I'd everything else is done well I'd let it go, maybe ask her to empty the Hoover before each time in case it's not picking up well. Asking her will also make her aware of it and maybe pay more attention. If it's all been done badly, look for someone new.

[Alexa444]

I wouldn't want someone in my house who was nosing through my stuff tbh. If she was poking through things in front of you, imagine how nosy she might be when you aren't there. I know cleaners do have to go through things to a certain degree to know where thing go etc but Idk, that would make me a little uncomfortable.

Don't let people shame you either, there is nothing wrong with needing a little help. God knows I would get a cleaner if I had the money

Harsh If the OP wanted to listen to an arse she'd fart. That was completely uncalled for.

[Stripyhoglets]

Honestly just tell her you've changed your mind about needing someone / friend has said they will help you so you don't need her anymore. If she's thins flaky this early - it's just going to stress you out!

[pasturesgreen]

Find a new cleaner.

Someone who doesn't show up on the first day of a new job is not going to improve. The reasons she gave true or not are of course reasonable, on the face of it, but really, who doesn't want to make a good first impression? If her auntie is supposedly available to help her with cleaning, she could have helped with childcare on the first day. Get rid, she's taking the piss.

[harshbuttrue1980]

Its an internet forum. She asked "aibu". I said yes. If someone doesn't want to hear negative opinions, then don't post on aibu - simples. And for all those people saying their cleaners are their "employees" - really?? So you pay sick pay, maternity pay and a pension, do you? Most cleaners are self employed.

Of course the poor woman is going to sort out her flooded bathroom and childcare issues!! I don't have children, but most people get a parental leave allowance for emergencies like having no childcare. And of course most people would be allowed to have time off to sort out a flooded bathroom! Cleaners are human beings too. And, sorry OP, but you DO sound self centred. You are honestly considering cancelling her because she dared to have a flooded bathroom and childcare issues.

[StealthPolarBear]

People who are employees are given time off by their employer.
as you say cleaners are usually self employed , they either provide a service or not. You pay, or not.

[TheGreatSnafu]

She asked "aibu". I said yes.

No, you used hyperbole and the derogation "pleb" (which implies a moral failure on the part of the OP for thinking herself better than) called the OP "bloody self centred"

Then said, Cleaners are human beings too. as if the cleaner is being treated inhumanely which is quite dramatic as nothing of the sort was even implied - on the contrary.

The OP's cleaner didn't turn up twice, did a shitty job, invaded the OPs private space, gave the OP unsolicited parenting advice and YET the OP was still considered enough to come online to ask if she was being fair in her dealings with this cleaner.

There is nothing immoral in having a cleaner FFS.