to wish MIL would leave my fucking laundry alone!

(111 Posts)
bumpertobumper Thu 03-Mar-16 23:20:52

She was only trying to be helpful,but is it too much to hope that by almost 70 she should know the basics by now!
Today she was looking after DD while I went to a work meeting, dd had a good long nap so mil decided to 'help' with the laundry. She hung up the load I had put on this morning nicely folded on the airer! Who thinks folded clothes dry? She then put on a load - a mixture of a sheet and some pillow cases, DPs grubby gardening jeans, some baby clothes, tea towels AND DSs shitty pants he'd had an accident in! (They were beside the utility sink, I hadn't had a chance to tackle them). I have just been hanging this load of washing feeling a bit hmm, but now have the rage when I got to the pants in the bottom of the basket, still with traces...envyangry
Ffs, if you aren't going to do it properly just leave it.
She also decided that the bath mats beside the washing machine were fine, trying to save me from having to do too much washing, and put them back on the bathroom floor. DD had pissed on them!
She has form for carefully folding dirty clothes and putting them in the kids drawers. And washing up so badly, with the surfaces cloth, that I have to redo it.

She is a great help really, I am very lucky, and we get on well.
But I just need to rant about the unhelpful help which has made more work for me not less... Finding the little things annoying at the moment as the add up. Usually can let it go.

BestZebbie Thu 03-Mar-16 23:28:24

quietly I think folded clothes dry - we hang nearly all our laundry up folded in half to get more on the dryer at a time....

But outsiders interfering in your processes is very annoying, I get that. :-)

Abzs Thu 03-Mar-16 23:30:33

Mine is the same. Really very nice, but so desperate to be helpful that she often isn't. Every visit there are plates in the wrong cupboards, clothes folded wrong (wrong, just wrong) and goodness only knows what she does to the poor hoover.

And it's all done out of love and the best possible intentions (so you can't even be cross and therefore have to exorcise the rant on mn).

AnotherEmma Thu 03-Mar-16 23:30:46

Stop asking her to babysit for you.

It's not rocket science.

Missrubyring Thu 03-Mar-16 23:34:46

Can she maybe babysit DD round her house instead of yours??

PovertyPain Thu 03-Mar-16 23:39:20

Why not leave a laundry pile beside the machine and mention that is all your laundry gathered up and you hope to do it later? I'll bet her eyes will light up. You know she'll only go looking if you don't. Make sure you mention that's ALL the laundry that needs done. ;-)

bumpertobumper Thu 03-Mar-16 23:41:26

Abz sounds like you have a similar situation.

Interesting that clothes do dry folded, I have never tried so thanks for that and I'll concede I'm wrong on that one grin

As for not getting her to baby sit, that would be an over reaction to minor domestic irritation I wanted a moan about. She loves doing it and I need it. I know I am lucky to have this work my mil, but I am also allowed to have a whinge on mn...

MatildaTheCat Thu 03-Mar-16 23:47:17

She sounds so nice...even if annoying. Would it be wicked to leave her a big pile of ironing you've not had time to tackle? Nits to destruct? Drains to unblock?

Just ideas. grin

ComeonSummer1 Thu 03-Mar-16 23:49:15

Wow. Just wow.

Czerny88 Thu 03-Mar-16 23:56:08

My ex-boyfriend's parents once stayed in our flat while we were away. I came back to find they had decided to wash my underwear. WTF? What was even more annoying was that it was expensive stuff that was meant to be washed by hand.

So I sympathise.

Cleebope Thu 03-Mar-16 23:56:16

I understand this. Mil does all our laundry when we go on hols, without me asking, and I hate it! Feels like an invasion of privacy to think of her rooting through my dirty knickers. Now when I go away I make sure there's nothing except maybe a few towels or socks left in the basket. I hide the dirty underwear!I don't want to hurt her feelings so can't say anything. Just "Thanks, you shouldn't bother". But she still does things like this as a surprise. Some time s she asks on our return (or even after a day a t work) " Do you notice anything different about your house? "'And I never do.. I'm not that observant over tiles scrubbed and window sills wiped! Don't know how to tell her to stop, though of course she is only trying to help.

cranberryx Fri 04-Mar-16 00:02:30

I sympathise about the washing.

MIL likes to throw the darks and the whites in together and somehow all of DH's shirts and DS's light clothes end up grey. I have a seperate laundry bin for whites now in the nursery because it was giving me the rage.

I buy white things because I want them to stay white angry and breathe! grin My MIL is lovely really, but it can be annoying when you don't ask for these things to be done and they really think they are being helpful.

mummykate72 Fri 04-Mar-16 00:03:32

Love her while you can and don't get stressed. You'll find out one day that these are the things that don't matter. She sounds lovely.

nevertakeyouriphoneinthebath Fri 04-Mar-16 00:20:50

Do you have the same MIL as me? shock

I think it must be a generational thing.

Mrsfrumble Fri 04-Mar-16 00:21:28

Love her while you can and don't get stressed. You'll find out one day that these are the things that don't matter. She sounds lovely.

This is beautiful and completely agree.

nevertakeyouriphoneinthebath Fri 04-Mar-16 00:22:59

Unless you are putting them on the top of an Aga how on earth can clothes dry properly when folded? confused The air can't circulate around the fabric properly and they will take much longer to dry and probably smell.

AcrossthePond55 Fri 04-Mar-16 00:30:41

OK, add to my list of 'MiL Dos and Don'ts'; Never do the laundry.

Until the next thread when a DiL complains "My MiL watched the kids today. You'd think she would have noticed the load of laundry by the machine and popped it in (or) folded the laundry hanging on the line!"

grin

Canyouforgiveher Fri 04-Mar-16 00:42:32

Great to have a rant on here but agree with *love her while you can and don't get too stressed*- you will look back and miss her some day.

it isn't really a MIL thing though - I could have written your OP with my mother in the starring role (and I do miss her - although not the annoying bits smile)

PurpleDaisies Fri 04-Mar-16 00:47:53

My mother drives me nuts with insisting on washing up and doing it really badly (think dipping stuff in the water and putting it on the drainer). She really wants to be helpful but I end up spending ages trying to identify all the dirty crockery that's made it into cupboards and treading it-far longer than if I'd washed up myself. I usually resort to gin. It is hard not to get annoyed but I know she only has good intentions. Luckily I have two sisters who feel the same so we get to vent out frustrations without it turning into an argument with mum.

houseeveryweekend Fri 04-Mar-16 01:33:07

My mums mum used to do this to her and it would drive her nuts and shed scream..... and id feel bad for my gran thinking she was only trying to help.
Now as an adult with a small child I realise that it mustve actually been a nightmare and in the case of my mother also quite insulting to her. I do think my gran was only doing it for control reasons although as a child I didn't understand that.
Im glad that im spared this as my mum never tries to interfere with anything I do unless I have given her specific instructions which she will follow to the the letter because she knows the pain of having someone mess with your system and in some cases your head as well!
I certainly am always going to make sure I ask for my adult childrens instructions if I want to help them when they are older and I don't ever stray from what they say trying to be 'helpful'.
I think your mum is genuinely just trying to be helpful unlike my gran but still I feel your pain!

novemberchild Fri 04-Mar-16 01:45:54

I can't stand anyone else doing the laundry. The laundry is My Domain and must be done according to My Rules. DH does not understand that one cannot, for example, leave the wet laundry in the machine overnight. Or mix dark and light colours. Or that one ought not to tumble-dry plastic-backed items...

I'm also grateful to the pp who hides dirty knickers from the MIL. While I am very fond of my MIL, when we visit (abroad) she collects up all our dirty washing for the housekeeping lady, who washes it all BY HAND.

Last time...I rooted out my stash of disposable hospital pants and took them instead blush

Bogeyface Fri 04-Mar-16 02:37:12

Years ago my sister and her (now) DH were living in a rented place with white goods. The washer kept playing up, the LL was crap so they used to spend Sundays at my mums doing their laundry.

When they went away on holiday, mum decided to do them a favour and empty their laundry baskets. She is super anal about it so whites ended up whiter than they started, no issues there. It was very kind of her, Dsis and BIL very much appreciated it.

Then Dsis got home.

Mum had washed everything, dryed, ironed and put it away. All except my sisters underwear, which was left on the bed. DSis was a bit confused about why mum left that out when she had put everything else away, until she opened her knicker drawer, to see her MASSIVE vibrator there. Clearly mum had gone to put the undies away, seen that and then left Dsis's knickers on the bed so as to prove she hadnt seen it, and yet by doing that, she had shown that she had indeed seen it!

As an onlooker, it was fucking hilarious! DSis has never mentioned it (except to me) and neither has my mother!

Sometimesithinkimbonkers Fri 04-Mar-16 02:56:28

My MIL has never ever ever even tried to do my washing!!!!! Although she has made comment to my overflowing basket!

My mum used to help when she was alive!

Sort your self out op.....

Allaboutthatbass Fri 04-Mar-16 03:13:58

Novemberchild I have a similar issue when visiting in-laws overseas. I like your strategy! Though they probably now think you go commando routinely.
I was mortified to have my suitcase unpacked for me on one visit by my MIL, including a dildo I had taken with me as I had painful scarring after a tear in childbirth and was trying to stretch up things under my own control in order to be able to try and resume a sex life with my DH. Nothing was ever said ... Needed surgery to fix it anyway!

WomanScorned Fri 04-Mar-16 03:19:15

I get you, op.
I rushed home from the hospital as soon as I could, after giving birth, for fear of anyone helping me out by doing mine.
It was 8pm, so I could reasonably have stayed overnight, but that thought got me up, dressed and out of there!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now