I have been friends with this 'friend' for well over 10 years. We were very close, talking daily and meeting up often, she was almost as close as a sister. We both had 2 boys each of similar ages, so bonded over that also.
In 2013 I became pregnant with my 3rd child (a dd) unfortunately at that time the relationship with my then partner broke down, and he decided not to be in the baby's life. Later on during the pregnancy the baby was diagnosed with something the consultants thought at that time was life threatening, luckily it wasn't as bad as first thought, but my dd later needed an operation not long after her birth.
Once my dd was born my friend's attitude began to change quite dramatically. She was no longer as supportive as she previously had been, and began excluding me from 'exciting' events, such as music concerts etc. By the time my daughter came to have her operation my friend had gone completely no contact with me with no reason given. She then deleted me from all social media. We had had no arguments, no falling outs, nothing.
I was so hurt by this, because she had gone from being excited with me and visiting my dd, to not even asking after her during her operation. I still to this day do not know what caused her to be this way, but I always felt that there was an element of hidden jealousy that I had another baby, and that it was a girl.
One year later she made contact with me again, and tried to act as if nothing had happened, and even boasted about how well she was doing in work etc. I have been cordial since that time but I am still feeling hurt...
Now months on she has found herself pregnant after a one night stand. The father has chosen to walk away, so she is in a similar predicament to the one I was in. Not only that but she has recently found out the baby is a girl. She has been up and down given the circumstances, but is over the moon she is having a girl, however it has brought back lots of negative feelings for me...I want to support her, but I just can't forget how she treated me during my own time of need.
I know it all sounds a little schoolgirl-ish but would I be wrong now to make a permanent end to our friendship? I just don't know how we can continue on as if nothing happened.
AIBU?
To re-end this friendship?
MissterBean · 17/02/2016 18:32
She hasn't been your friend for 10 years, she's been you frenemy. She must have reason for doing this, even if it's a tiny slight from years ago that has magnified over the years to the point she went NC. As she was boasting about her life when she returned the first time, she definitely has a beef. It could be your DD, but equally it could be anything!
Cut her out 
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Leave it. There are wonderful people in the world, you deserve to have friends you can rely on and talk to, nobody needs to worry or second-guess a relationship. Life is far too short.
So you have waited until she is going through a difficult time and needs support to 'end your friendship' to deliberately hurt her and get her back for what you feel she did to you?
Pfft. 
OP, YANBU. I've got a friend who cut me off during pregnancy. Ignored me for the last 3 months. I really needed a friend during the ups and downs of pregnancy but she wasn't interested, going so far as to post lots of PA digs and nasty posts about pregnancy and children on FB. Now she's in hospital with an illness, she's gotten back in touch, acting like nothing's happened. I'm fuming, tbh, so I can totally see your side.
I am not surprised at all you want to end this friendship. Leaving you alone in your time of need was awful, and though you were being cordial, she never apologised or explained, so round 2 of the 'friendship' was going nowhere. You can't be expected to support her in those circumstances. I do agree with everyone else that you should talk to her and let her explain what happened, and then tell her how much she hurt you. I think that's the right thing to do for the sake of both of your sanities. But I would probably see that conversation as providing closure of the friendship rather than as a way to sort out and rekindle the friendship. Hope it goes ok OP
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Of course YANBU. I didn't think for a minute you felt this way due to her being in a similar situation as you were. She doesn't sound anything like a friend. Someone who was close enough to be like a sister should not have cut you out for absolutely no reason and give you no explanation then expect to swan back into your life a year later as if nothing has happened. Life is too short. Say to her that you cannot support her anymore as you cannot forgive or forget the way she cut you out so you are moving on from the friendship. If she tries to explain, tell her that doesn't make you forget how she treated you and you wouldn't trust her not to do the same in the future.
Or just tell her to jog the fuck on, which ever is your style. 
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