My parents divorced when I was very young. My father was violent to my mother, and my older brother and I remember it vividly. We were forced to see him every weekend for most of our childhood, and it wasn't always bad. I had an older and younger brother with me and we would play etc, but mostly I just remember my dad sleeping in and being left to our own devices in the tiny flat where he lived. I had a half brother who got to stay at home with my mum and stepdad and we always felt jealous.
We voluntarily stopped going as teenagers because of going out with friends at weekends, and I gradually lost contact with him, though both of my brothers still saw him and speak to him on the phone.
When I got married I went abroad so I wouldn't have the issue around inviting him... When I had my DD1 be turned up at the hospital and it was awkward as anything. I didn't see him for years after that until I got a letter for a permission hearing for him to exercise his 'grandparents rights' and see my (now 2) DD's. I was so against this. He's so bitter now that all he does is says awful things about me, my mum and my stepdad... And wishes us dead. He even wrote a book and published it online about my mother and I going to hell. The judge denied him permission, and it was a horrible time. We had to call the police a few times when he was threatening and wouldn't leave us alone.
Now it's two years later and my brother tells me that my dad has liver cancer. A Google search tells me this doesn't have a very high percentage of good outcomes. Part of my thinks I should see him and make peace, if he is dying, but my parents, my DH and all my friends think this would be crazy after the life he's put us all through. I don't really want to see him... But I'm worried that it will plague the rest of my life if I don't. He's always sent us messages threatening us with various things... One of which being that he will haunt me when he dies... Which sounded stupid and I can't believe I've let it get to me this much, but I'm not sleeping thinking about it.
Not really an AIBU... But what should I do? What would you do?
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AIBU?
Just heard really bad news about my n/c dad. I don't know what to do..
49 replies
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 07/02/2016 14:54
OP posts:
DawnOfTheDoggers ·
07/02/2016 15:10
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