A friend of many years died last night. She'd been involved in a freak accident, and was only 45 years old.
I'm a very private person, but felt very sad today and told two colleagues (separately). I said to the first that I was feeling upset because a friend died last night (no other detail at all) and she immediately said that a friend of hers had died two and a half years ago, and then talked about the funeral. That was then the end of the conversation as she left.
Later on I told another colleague, that a friend had died last night and that I was upset as she was relatively young. He said that a relative of his had died a couple of weeks ago, that she was 96 and it was in her sleep. They had to wait a long time for the funeral as the parlour was very busy. I then mentioned my friend again, but the subject was changed to striking junior doctors (also linked to his relative's life).
AIBU to think that they could have shown a little more interest and even sympathy? I didn't expect and hugs or anything, but a sad face would have been appreciated as I was feeling so upset.
I seem to be surrounded (at work, with friends, with family) by people who will take any conversation and immediately turn it into a discussion about them and their experiences.
AIBU or is this just normal? Thanks.
AIBU?
To think that colleagues shouldn't *immediately* take sensitive topic in conversation and talk about their own experiences?
CheekyMaleekey · 12/01/2016 20:31
Sorry about the loss of your friend, OP 
People are self absorbed twats.
I had a colleague like this. I had to interact with her often because we had to work together, doing the same thing. Every topic became about her precious sons, three namby-pambied men-children. I knew everything about them... I doubt she could have told you even the names of any of mine.
What? No! Of course a decent colleague will say "I'm sorry to hear that, are you ok?" Just because they're not your best friend doesn't mean they have to be a heartless bastard!
MN 
That may have been their way of sympathising with you.
Or they might just be self absorbed.
Sorry about your friend op
Sorry for your loss
I think sometimes people don't know what to say when someone says they've lost a relative/friend and it can appear insensitive.
I had a friend who didn't like to talk about her loss and she hated it when people asked questions or continued the conversation. She much preferred people just to offer condolences and then change the subject.
I've worked with several people like this Cheeky so I sympathise.
Every anecdote, sad story, experience etc. that you relate to them is turned back into "all about me" by these people.
I find that behaviour very crass and tactless but often it boils down to a complete lack of self-awareness on the part of the person you are telling.
Once or twice I have been known to turn to the original person who was relating their news before the "me, me, me" type interrupted and said "Sorry, what was the rest of your story?"
Im sorry about your friend
I suspect they didnt know what to say so tried to show empathy by telling you they had been through something they felt was similar.
I'm sorry for your loss .
Sorry for your loss 
If a colleague told me something that I didn't know how to react to I would probably rabbit on about nothing. I am terrible in these situations. Sorry for being a twat too as I am sure I do it to people often.
Agree with previous posters and I also wonder if they both know you to be very private then they might have thought you didn't want to be asked about the subject.
Sorry for your loss
Yes, I am aware that I sometimes do this and have to remind myself that listening and letting the other person talk is actually much better.
Sorry to hear about your friend OP.
The night after my husband died, an old friend he hadn't seen for years phoned me up and sobbed down the phone for 45 minutes, telling me how upset he was..... I was too in shock to hang up and ended up consoling him...
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