Right Mumsnet give me it with both barrels...

(51 Posts)
CainInThePunting Sun 03-Jan-16 22:05:39

I've not even name changed for this as I really do want to let it go. I'm single, I have principals and boundaries I don't cross however, I appear to be infatuated with an unavailable man.
He flirted with me, piqued my interest and now I find myself ever so slightly obsessed. He really is fucking lovely.
We met professionally. He at one point mentioned a 'missus' and although he doesn't wear a ring he also mentioned two kids under 10 so, clearly unavailable.
I've made no overtures, I've not linked with him in any way on social media etc but I do stalk him [embarassed]; he has a Twitter account and every few weeks I have a look...
Last year I decided this was pointless so I wouldn't look again. But I just did.

Please could you give me a virtual kicking in the head and shame me into not looking?

Oh god, I'm dreading the wrath.

BackInTheRealWorld Sun 03-Jan-16 22:07:38

No kicking from me. Yes you are torturing yourself but you aren't letting it impact on him or his family's life.
I hope you get past this soon though, it sounds frustrating for you.

RealityCheque Sun 03-Jan-16 22:08:10

Really? Attention seeking, much?

WorraLiberty Sun 03-Jan-16 22:08:55

I think you should look at his Twitter account if you want to.

I'm thinking it might get you 'over this' infatuation quicker than if you 'forbid' yourself.

A bit like when you go on a diet and deny yourself cake.

Cake is the only thing you can think about.

SalemSaberhagen Sun 03-Jan-16 22:09:09

I'm not going to give you a kicking - you know that you can't go anywhere with him, and you aren't trying to either.

If you aren't going to act on it, I don't think having a sneaky look at his Twitter is bad. I wouldn't do it though, to try and get rid of any left over feelings. Do you want to be in a relationship? Focus on other, available men if so - I bet your infatuation will soon vanish.

CalleighDoodle Sun 03-Jan-16 22:09:22

He isnt very lovely if he is flirting when unavailavble.

WorraLiberty Sun 03-Jan-16 22:09:47

Are you on the right thread Reality? confused

SuckingEggs Sun 03-Jan-16 22:10:25

Don't waste your life. Please.

daisychain01 Sun 03-Jan-16 22:11:14

Seems like you have it under control and in perspective.

If you were to post that you were taking things further, then I'm sorry but I'd lose respect.

SirChenjin Sun 03-Jan-16 22:11:36

Meh - it's a crush. We all have them - as long as you don't act on them (very important, that bit), there's no harm in doing the odd bit of FB stalking.

Are you doing other things to meet available blokes?

ScarlettDarling Sun 03-Jan-16 22:11:36

No virtual head kicking!!

You've got a good old fashioned crush! Remember having them as a teenager? The lurking round outside their house? The writing their name all over your pencil case? The conviction that you would be perfect together?

You know rationally that it can't ever go anywhere but that won't crush the crush. You need to meet someone nice and available so get yourself out there and meet some men!

TheoriginalLEM Sun 03-Jan-16 22:11:49

ah you great hairy arsed trollope. hes a married man. leave him alone. have some self respect etc etc etc

alternatively cut yourself some slack. Try and distract yourself elsewhere. Casual shag? if that works. Take up quilting? there's a fantastic bit part just started and its ONLY 99p fot the first issue. ....

mrsfuzzy Sun 03-Jan-16 22:12:32

nothing wrong with a crush as long as you keep it in your head and don't act on it.

SirChenjin Sun 03-Jan-16 22:17:45

For some reason, I find imagining my latest perimenopausal crush sitting naked on the loo with a big poo hanging from his bum is an excellent way of helping to get rid of a lot of the pent up lustiness. Sorry Dr Lovely, but you just didn't cut it after that.

hefzi Sun 03-Jan-16 22:19:53

SirChenjin brilliant grin

Using your picture has just cured me, too!

Doublebubblebubble Sun 03-Jan-16 22:21:14

Sirchenjin. literally the best way I have ever heard to get over a crush. literally. Op, its just a crush... It will go away. You sound like you know what you're doing x

toldmywrath Sun 03-Jan-16 22:22:45

*Cain " Oh god, I'm dreading the wrath*".Well here I am, nothing to dread here. Just do what mrsfuzzy said.

FrostyNipples Sun 03-Jan-16 22:23:02

Tis a crush grin make up a really supertastic imaginary life with him in your head and keep it there.

I once had an imaginary affair with my delicious dentist, until I saw him picking his nose.
I imaginary dumped him then and moved dentist.

My teeth had never been in such a good state.

SirChenjin Sun 03-Jan-16 22:24:13

You're welcome grin.

And it's a stinker, so he's got the air freshener in his hand for afterwards...

bettyberry Sun 03-Jan-16 22:24:25

This is a crush. I have been through it when single.You know you wont take it anywhere. That's good. It will fade when a new one comes along or he does something that makes you go 'ewww' Like my last crush did.

He needs to dress as Simon Cowell to really kill the fantasy Or maybe do some 'to me, to you' chuckle brother action. The second I envisioned my crush doing that. Killed it.

FrostyNipples Sun 03-Jan-16 22:28:21

Also I like to have a few imaginary celebrity boyfriends.

I'm currently shagging and going drinking with Sean Bean, doing a hippy love in with Bez I know I can't help it and have just finished with James Martin after his flirting on his show.... blush

SaucyJack Sun 03-Jan-16 22:31:41

Are you happy?

If so, enjoy a harmless crush for what it is.

If not, Google limerance. It's a thing.

CainInThePunting Sun 03-Jan-16 22:31:52

SirCenjin utterly brilliant.

Actually, my teeth are in need a bit of attention so I might start googling the local dentists and looking for one I fancy stalking instead.

Yes, RealityCheque I suppose it was attention seeking. As per my OP. It's the nature of AIBU.

StickyToffeePuddingAndCustard Sun 03-Jan-16 22:32:22

So a married man with two children is 'fucking lovely'?

It's a crush that will never be more than that. A total waste of your time and energy.

If you want to look at his Twitter then the only person you are messing with is yourself. Come on, you are worth more than that!

SaucyJack Sun 03-Jan-16 22:32:22

*limerence

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