AIBU to ask you for a sick note for my Christmas lunch?

[goldwrapped]

I have a great job - I really enjoy it. The only bit I don't like is the monthly management meeting I have to go to, around 25 miles from home. I travel there with my lovely job share but find the whole thing very tedious-it's clear that most decisions are made before the meeting and they're only held for the sake of them. I abhor beaurocracy but attend because it's part of my job, and I smile and contribute appropriately.
Ive just had an email from the Director to say that next week it's our Christmas lunch - held directly after the meeting. We've had a few of this type of 'celebration' - painful doesn't cover it. I really really really don't want to go - work is one thing but paying £20 to eat crap food with them just turns my stomach! But if I don't it will put my fantastic job share (and friend) in a very difficult situation - we would have to travel separately, which would be frowned upon given Council cutbacks, and it would all be really awkward.
Can someone please write me a note along the lines of 'goldwrapped can't come for lunch because she fucking hates you?' Or give me some advice? Or IABVU? 🎄

[whois]

considering you can claim up to £150 per employee for stuff like Christmas parties as a tax deductible business expense, I think it's fucking tight companies make you pay for your own Christmas meal.

[GruntledOne]

I feel your pain, having wasted countless painful hours sitting through incredibly tedious management meetings. Can you and your jobshare friend sadly go down with the same terrible bug?

[DisgraceToTheYChromosome]

You will need some French onion soup, a large garlic bread crouton and a bottle of Marston's Pedigree.

Consume this the night before, and they will expel you from the meeting and the subsequent meal quite quickly. Oh yes.

[spad]

How old are you? I think when you are over 37 you opt for the be -rude- but-get-your-own-way option.

'Id love to but I've too much on'

[Tartyflette]

You have to PAY for your office Christmas do? And give up your own time? Bail. Plead poverty, (either actual poverty or time poverty)

[Geraniumred]

Does your job share friend want to go to the Christmas Lunch? I've never been to a works Christmas Lunch - local government always make us pay for our own and I hate three course meals - I just say 'no thank you'.
Could you get back to your normal workplace by public transport? Or just miss the meeting for once? Or hang around somewhere else while your friend goes to the lunch and meet up again after?

[whirlybird42]

If it makes you feel any better, our office Christmas do was this year held in summer, was 90 mins drive each way and I was given one free drink and a plate of cheese sandwiches to eat, oh and it was a Saturday evening too on a rare child free weekend.

Disappointed didn't even cover it.

[CheesyNachos]

Grim.

My FIL says 'I am too old to do things I don't want to'.

I think that sometimes that is a good approach.

Do you have DCs? Can your DH be out of town on business so you have to be home? I managed to avoid a farewell golf weekend with a much-detested boss a few years back by saying DH had gone to Brussels unexpectedly. Worked a treat.

[IWasHereBeforeTheHack]

To whois and Tartyflette In the public sector, you pay for your own Christmas lunch. Surely you didn't think your council tax goes on giving the staff a jolly while social care is cut back??

Welcome to the real world.

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

Family emergency. Much easier and maybe your job share partner needs to drive you home?

Unless it's an every man for herself situation in which case the emergency needs to start the night before.

Or self cert. Illness: dangerous allergy to cranberries.

[poocatcherchampion]

Quite hack. I would be ashamed if the taxpayer paid for my lunch - tax deductible frippery or not

[Geraniumred]

In public sector you also pay for your own coffee/tea and milk.

[Peanutbutterfingers]

I used to work for the probation service. Offenders got free hot drinks and biscuits when they were on court enforced programmes and groups. Staff had to provide their own milk and teabags.

You get NOTHING in public sector! (Rightly)

[BonitaFangita]

Dear Director,

I have had a sudden epiphany and has become a teetotal, vegan atheist. She is deeply offended by any kind of Christmas celebration and eats a purely raw food, gluten free, dairy fee diet.
Unless you can accommodate these very genuine beliefs, I feel that I am sadly unable to attend.
However, I wish you well during your gluttonous Pagan celebration.

With genuine regrets
Goldwrap

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

[goldwrapped]

Oh my goodness my mumsnetters. You are all simply fantastic. Just needed validation that I wasn't going mad! Train home by myself it is. Thank you all!
And yes, for the record we have to buy our own teabags & milk. Recent email told us the boxes of tissues in the office are for emotional clients only, we must supply our own. Copier paper is classed as non-essential. And they're looking to fill any new staff vacancies with volunteers....

[Geraniumred]

Sound very familiar. I have an nhs colleague who has to supply her own post it notes...Glad you have a sensible plan.