to hate working with a pregnant princess?

(42 Posts)
bananaandcustard Tue 17-Nov-15 13:48:22

or rather not working with a pregnant princess?

as she is taking time off work because she is 'tired' or has a 'sore throat'

or simply not doing work or avoiding work during working hours?

RiverTam Tue 17-Nov-15 13:48:49

She might have something worse going on which she firsntdoesn't want to share with you?

RiverTam Tue 17-Nov-15 13:49:14

Doesn't!

hibbleddible Tue 17-Nov-15 13:51:28

I had a terrible pregnancy, and while I tried to take as little sick leave as possible, I was still off work quite a bit. I hope my colleagues were more sympathetic than you.

I agree with Tam . She might have complications with her pregnancy that she doesn't want to share with you.

Cookiecake Tue 17-Nov-15 13:53:07

I think some people do have harder pregnancies than others, maybe she is finding it difficult. If she is not doing her work at all them surely it will eventually be noticed? Does it affect you directly?

If she genuinely is using it as an excuse that is annoying but I think it's very hard for you to confidently know she is actively avoiding work.

HackerFucker22 Tue 17-Nov-15 13:59:37

Depends.... I've had two pregnancies and very little time off. In fact I probably had less time off than my direct colleagues both times. However I was very lucky and had very 'good' pregnancies. I was also conscious that I work in a very male dominated company and the few women I work with were all childless (one had much older kids) so I felt I didn't want to to take the piss. I dragged myself in until I as 39w with my second pregnancy due to covering illnesses and the festive period was due to leave for ML at 38w but as I lived so close and it was Xmas I did an extra week which of course benefitted me at the other end but did take the piss at the time

LizKeen Tue 17-Nov-15 14:01:21

When I was pregnant with my first I had terrible morning sickness that lasted until 22 weeks, I also had SPD though I didn't know what that was then, and just thought it was normal pain from doing a very physical job.

There was one woman in my work who was constantly bitching about me behind my back, saying I was making up the pain and the sickness should be over at 16 weeks because that was when hers ended hmm. It was a nightmare tbh and I ended up resigning under advice from my GP because I was so stressed.

I know it can be annoying, but some people have difficult pregnancies, and also, some people just struggle in general with being pregnant and they maybe worry a lot. She may have had a MC before, you just don't know.

stopfuckingshoutingatme Tue 17-Nov-15 14:04:14

and...she might be a skiver! This is why to some extent honesty to some degree is the best policy when off work sick

Leelu6 Tue 17-Nov-15 14:04:27

YANBU if she's milking it and is tolerated because she's a favourite.

YABU if everyone is treated the same when pregnant.

bananaandcustard Tue 17-Nov-15 14:04:33

have supported her throughout and made changes, and many allowances.
I have even gone to our bosses and made sure allowances and changes were made for her.

If she had complications she would let me know, esp as I have been down that road myself more than once.

Gileswithachainsaw Tue 17-Nov-15 14:04:38

any complications or medical issues are her business.

there could he a number of things mean g she's actually really struggling.

I was admitted to hospital, signed off for a few weeks and even when I returned to work I was anaemic in pain and exhausted. however that was between me and the shop manager and area. not colleagues.

don't just assume she's being a "princess"

glenthebattleostrich Tue 17-Nov-15 14:09:34

I was described as a princess when pregnant and my (male) boss uttered the immortal words 'do you think you are the only woman to ever get pregnant?' Why, because -

I asked if I could start work 15 minutes later and take the time off my lunch break because I kept fainting on the packed train.

I refused to rearrange the heavy archive boxes and climb up and down ladders at 14 weeks.

I got a chest and throat infection when I was 22 weeks which left me laid up for 2 weeks (I'm asthmatic)

I didn't make coffee often enough because the smell made me vomit (all through pregnancy)

I had to take some time off with migraines, yes proper unable to move migraines, not a bit of a headache as my head of office described them.

I wouldn't drink at the Christmas lunch, nor eat pate because I was 5 months pregnant at the time.

I took time off for maternity appointments, refusing to put in holiday.

I insisted on a health and safety risk assessment.

These are the worst examples but my boss was basically a twat and still (according to the few people I still see) wonders why I didn't go back.

Purely anecdotal (a survey of my friends!) for every 'princess' who milks it, there are more who do have horrible pregnancies with SPD, continuing sickness and generally feeling shitty for 9 months.

SmashleyHop Tue 17-Nov-15 14:11:50

Oh man if someone dared call me a pregnant princess right now.. I'd probably eat them.

I am really struggling with this pregnancy. I'm also aware not everyone wants to hear me moan constantly (especially about my friggin fanny daggers- can make for uncomfy conversation). So I try to keep my moans to myself most days. Maybe it's the same with this woman. Maybe her "I have a sore throat" really is "I feel like I'm going to vomit, have heartburn and if my feet blow up any bigger they may pop!" She might just not want to share all her aches and pains with everyone.

PurpleTreeFrog Tue 17-Nov-15 14:16:15

Pregnancy can really knock it out of you, even uncomplicated pregnancies. Tiredness is torture, when I was pregnant I used to go and sit in a toilet cubicle at work and close my eyes and just sit there for half an hour. Because I felt like I couldn't take time off just due to 'tiredness'... But I really think people should treat pregnant ladies with more kindness, it's hard work, in the past people used to take maternity leave much earlier rather than working right up to the due date as many do now. So what if she's skiving, if she wasn't so knackered she probably wouldn't be skiving...?!

HopeClearwater Tue 17-Nov-15 14:21:13

What was she like before?

Topseyt Tue 17-Nov-15 14:23:43

I had to have a fair bit of time off work when pregnant with my DD2.

I had a lung infection, and the function of my right ling was significantly impaired. Hope I wasn't considered a "pregnant princess" for it.

I understand that the immune system is lower during pregnancy so that it is less likely to attack the baby. Unfortunately that can mean that some otherwise robust women suddenly start getting anything going.

Have you ever been pregnant, OP?

Topseyt Tue 17-Nov-15 14:25:18

*Lung, not ling.

HaydeeofMonteCristo Tue 17-Nov-15 14:25:44

I am very uncomfortable with calling anyone who is pregnant a "princess" because it does make massive demands on your body. Morning sickness, SPD being two obvious conditions (if that is the word), but not only that.

Even a fairly straight forward pregnancy is exhausting (IME).

There may be a few people who "milk" it for all it is worth, but I imagine the vast majority struggle through as best they can, only asking for what is reasonable.

OP, I get the impression you are a woman and have been pregnant from what you have said. If anyone who hadnt been pregnant called someone a princess I would think it ignorant at best. However, many of us have easier pregnancies than others, so even having been pregnant doesn't mean we know what others are going through.

It shouldn't impact badly on co-workers though, it's for employers to sort out.

GruntledOne Tue 17-Nov-15 14:26:27

It can cause problems. I once worked with someone who got pregnant within three months of starting work. She had quite a lot of time off for sickness in the early months, which no-one begrudged, and she took the full day off for check-ups despite living near the office. For some reason HR slipped up and she was allowed to take her full year's holiday allowance before the end of the holiday year, which fell part way through her pregnancy, and she insisted on taking every single day. Then the new holiday year started and she took every day of that year's allowance, and when she'd done that she went on maternity leave at the first possible opportunity. We worked out that over a period of almost two years that she was actually employed by the company she only worked for around three months at most. No-one was sorry when she decided not to return after maternity leave.

bananaandcustard Tue 17-Nov-15 14:26:43

agree with the tiredness, so let her take breaks early.

before:

regular time keeper at work. needed support to keep attention on work.

now: other staff (1 being also pregnant) are picking up her distinct slack.

HaydeeofMonteCristo Tue 17-Nov-15 14:28:21

NB - I am self employed and worked to 39 weeks with DC2 (and then had half term with DC1 for the last week!), so didn't get any allowances made for me. No employers to make allowances and had to keep chasing work etc.

However, I'm all in favour of those who are employed being treated properly, and generally taking care of friend/family/co-workers who might need support, whether it it through pregnancy or any other reason.

TheWordOfBagheera Tue 17-Nov-15 14:32:49

Annoying if she's genuinely being OTT drama llama about her pregnancy, but you can never know.

And even if she is, it's a short spell in her working life. If she's generally a good colleague I'd let it slide and give her the benefit of the doubt.

Not the same at all, but I once had a boss who made snide comments about other pregnant/post birth women after having her own child; apparently she'd gone for a 2 mile walk just hours after giving birth. That meant that anyone else who didn't do the same was milking it. I mumbled something about perhaps all pregnancies and births were different and she scoffed. I'm so glad I'd moved on before falling pregnant myself!

Topseyt Tue 17-Nov-15 14:33:50

The fact that one other member of staff is also pregnant is neither here nor there.

Pregnancy is different for every woman, and frequently no two pregnancies are alike even for the same woman.

We don't know your employee. We can't judge her accurately from an online description.

People are offering up potential explanations, often based on their own experiences.

DowntonDiva Tue 17-Nov-15 14:36:52

Pregnant myself, picking up the slack for fellow pregnant colleague who I can't help but suspect she's milking it for all its worth. Too tired to travel to work, then lets it slip later what social outings she managed that day. Gets on my goat but I just try to not think about it and get on with it.

SpangleDragon Tue 17-Nov-15 14:50:24

I think the main thing here is what was she like before she got pg? If she was a princess before, then....

oh well, she'll be off soon...

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