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AIBU?

starting to believe I'm the only person who feels this way....surely not!???!!!

53 replies

waitaminutenow · 29/06/2015 22:08

Seriously I know this is going to cause havoc but I just have to know if anyone else thinks the same as me in regards to the government and childcare costs! Why do people feel that its the governments problem and that child care should be free? You either work and pay for child care or SAH...or don't have children if you can't afford one of those options?!It's coming across as a very harsh opinion in writing but I just don't get it tbh...

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FarFromAnyRoad · 29/06/2015 22:10

You'll probably get a good kicking for that OP but I sort of agree with you. It wasn't THAT long ago that I had a pre-schooler, a DH on non-negotiable shifts and my part-time job also on non-negotiable shifts. Childcare was our problem and nobody else's. We got through it although it was bloody hard at times but we did get through it with bugger all help from any outside agency. Times appear to have changed.

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breadstixandhommus · 29/06/2015 22:10

WTF is going on today?!

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KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 29/06/2015 22:10

Because childcare isn't affordable for a lot of people. I expect it costs less to pay for childcare than have people out of work.

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AnyoneForTennis · 29/06/2015 22:11

I'm a lone parent

I HAVE to work. There's no other option for lone parents, did you know that?? Lol at 'SAH'.... Er no, we cant

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WoodliceCollection · 29/06/2015 22:13

So you think 60-70%+ of the British population should never have children? Good luck with that one, and with the depopulated economy not crashing for when you want to get your pension if you do manage to convince anyone.

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TheHumourlessHarpy · 29/06/2015 22:16

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waitaminutenow · 29/06/2015 22:17

Anyone for tennis....obviously there is no choice for lone parents...I get that!!...but I don't see how that means that child care should be free?!

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Stubbed · 29/06/2015 22:18

Society needs children. They become the adults who run it. Children need to be brought up. Parents need money for that. For many families, the cost of childcare now outweighs one of the salaries. That is why the situation is worse than ever.

Also (personal bug bare of mine) the parent who often gives up work is the mother and I don't feel that is fair.

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manicinsomniac · 29/06/2015 22:18

YABU

Childcare is ridiculously expensive and most people need to work. Childcare is only needed for the first few years so it's silly to say you can't afford children just because you struggle to afford childcare. And, if you SAH, you could wreck your career prospects. It's probably beneficial to the govt to have a more up to date and educated workforce rather than have thousands of women stuck at home unable to develop professionally.

And yes, what anyonefortennis said about single mums. I had my first child at 19. I was on my own months before she was born and have been on my own ever since. No working has never been a possibility for me. I went back to work when each of my children was a couple of months old. Technically, no, I couldn't afford children but none of the pregnancies were deliberate (yep, 2 were stupid mistakes but 1 was a rape) so I just had to manage somehow.

What other option is there for a single mum other than full time work? There isn't one!

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waitaminutenow · 29/06/2015 22:19

Woodlice no I don't in theory....people can have as many as they see fit...just don't throw the bill/rresponsibility the government?!

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breadstixandhommus · 29/06/2015 22:19

Listen.....if I gave up work to SAH I would be claiming every benefit going. As it stands, I have 11 hours free nursery per week not even a full shift as ds goes to a private nursery which averages the hours over 52, not 39, weeks. That amounts to about £50 per week from the government, as opposed to the £100's per week if I SAH.

Guess which I feel is a better deal for our economy? (Not to mention valuable life lessons that show you don't get something for nothing for my ds)

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GiddyOnZackHunt · 29/06/2015 22:20

Did anyone say it should be free?

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HaleMary · 29/06/2015 22:21

So, having children is a kind of expensive private hobby reserved for the affluent, OP?

Even if you're incapable of looking beyond your own nose, wouldn't you have personally thought it was a good thing if you'd had the option of free or very cheap, high-quality childcare so that you could work, or not, as you saw fit?

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Imustgodowntotheseaagain · 29/06/2015 22:22

Please don't answer this if you don't want to, manic - but was money ever a consideration for you while you were coming to terms with being pregnant? Did you ever think that not being financially secure was a reason not to go ahead?

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ghostyslovesheep · 29/06/2015 22:22

yeah you are so right OP - I should give up the job I've had for 18 years and stop working (for the first time in almost 30 years) because I am a lone parent who needs TC to help with childcare costs

Honestly OP in the real world life is so not cut and dried

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IrenetheQuaint · 29/06/2015 22:22

It's better for the country as a whole for economics and skills-based reasons to keep parents in the workforce, full or part time. So it makes sense to subsidise childcare to allow parents to work.

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ghostyslovesheep · 29/06/2015 22:23

oh and all 3 babies where planned in a marriage ... but shit happens

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EggOnTheFloor · 29/06/2015 22:24

When childcare for one pre school child costs more than some peoples rent, then it becomes unaffordable for many and prevents people from working. This in turn means that there are less working tax payers and probably less spending by those families.

If childcare was more affordable (less than the current going rate of £800 per month for example) then I would agree with you that the onus should be solely on parents.

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Kinsman · 29/06/2015 22:28

It's the government's problem because they have failed working parents when it comes to cost. University fees, whilst high, are capped at 9k per year, and yet when it comes to childcare, nurseries can charge what they like.

I have in the past few months seen a huge number of nurseries in my area, most of which we're full, that charged between £950 (absolute cheapest) and £1,500 (most expensive). The irony is that they were pretty much the same - no rhyme or reason as to the £500+ difference.

I have no problem with paying fees but If the government capped nursery fees life would be so much easier for working parents.

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waitaminutenow · 29/06/2015 22:28

Giddyon...the only reason I put this ppst up is because this week (for some reason) I have seen (Facebook etc) and heard tons of people saying it should be free!!...these same people then packing for they're holiday (abroad) at the same time tbh...and as a pp stated its only for a few years so I just don't see how priorities can't be adjusted in SOME people's cases

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manicinsomniac · 29/06/2015 22:29

Imustgodown - no, not really. I was already studying at a very academic university when I got pregnant. I knew I had good job prospects. I could work out a suitable career for raising a child solo before I had the child. I was incredibly lucky in many ways. And, for me, abortion is not an option so there wasn't that much to think about anyway.

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steppedonlego · 29/06/2015 22:29

The going rate for one child in a nursery is often more than a single nursery assistant makes in a month. The profit margins are massive. It's not free childcare we need, it's a living minimum wage and affordable childcare.

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BathshebaDarkstone · 29/06/2015 22:31

Because the government want me to go back to work but make it impossible for me to afford it? You need a really highly paid job to be able to afford childcare. DH was self employed but had to claim housing benefit, the housing benefit office said that if he couldn't afford to pay rent he had to give up work and sign on, he's now a part time caretaker.

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OftheTwilighttheDarkness · 29/06/2015 22:33

Not only is childcare expensive, it can be bloody difficult to come by. Where I live the before and after school club is full and there are very few places. As a country we need more good quality childcare and not just between 8.00 am and 6.00pm.
Dh and I earn a decent amount between us but it was so expensive when the kids were younger and that was with some tax credits. Just because we struggled I have no wish to deny people better, cheaper childcare.
Why is it ok for the government to subsidise employers by topping up low wages but not people's childcare?

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waitaminutenow · 29/06/2015 22:34

So clearly I am the only one who thinks this...steppedonlego I do agree with min wage should be raised.

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