Here's the background, sorry this is so long but didn't want to drip feed. Thanks for opinions and advice.
I'm not anywhere near overweight according to BMI and never have been and have three children.
In my early 20s I was very slim and fit and I managed to get back to being relatively healthy after DC1.
When DC2 was born he was very ill and I spent the first year worrying about him and spending no time on myself. Just when it became clear he would be fine and I thought I might get fit again (exercise and eating well) I found out that I was pregnant with DC3.
In that pregnancy I let myself go a little and ate lots of rubbish and did little exercise. I had a horrific birth injury with DC3 (and have an ongoing issue). I felt pretty shit about myself and felt quite fat and unattractive (and stretch marked). Even at this point I was in the middle of the BMI normal range. Around this time DH went on a fitness overdrive. He's always been slim, but he started working out a lot, and controlling his diet and he started to see good results. This is when he started telling me I ought to get to the gym and eat healthily and every time I ate too much or not the right thing or too little of the right thing in front of him he would give me looks or roll his eyes. I was still breastfeeding and was in no fit state mentally given all I'd been through in the previous 2 years to really get myself to the gym and to eat healthily. I was very upset with him.
Around 6 months later I finally got up the courage to get back into exercise and I lost some weight and got fitter again. A month later I was pregnant again though I had a late miscarriage at 16 weeks. I ended up putting all the weight I had lost in the summer back on and felt pretty shit about myself all winter. Cue DH giving me looks and telling me to get into the gym because he's 'concerned' about me. We eventually had it out and he agreed that what he was doing was not nice or helpful. A few weeks later I got back into gear and started exercising again and got fitter but didn't manage to shift any weight.
So today I'm 5 weeks pregnant again and trying to be careful but am starving and quite nauseous when not eating. At a children's birthday party this afternoon I ate a small sandwich and was standing next to DH and saw a look from him. When we talked about it later he finally admitted that he is being judgemental and that he thinks that I have no self control. He also said sorry and that it's not really any of his business.
What do I do with him? I really don't know anymore. I feel pretty shit and all his looks are making me feel worse, but I'm pregnant again and hoping to stay that way so can only really try to eat healthily. (He's fitter than ever and looks pretty good (on the outside, though I think he's pretty ugly on the inside)).
(I can get plenty of help with the kids so this is not really an excuse.)
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AIBU?
to think it's quite mean of my DH to give me looks when I eat food he thinks I shouldn't be eating and to tell me I lack self control?
88 replies
beestings · 24/05/2015 22:51
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DirtyKnickers ·
24/05/2015 23:43
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