Regular, name changed. I'm hoping you can all offer me some perspective here...
I'd asked DH to print some forms off for me at work last night because our printer was on the blink. I went through his work bag to find them this morning and happened to find a pouch of tobacco, lighter and rolling papers in there. My heart sank. I wasn't quite sure how to react or feel at that moment in time tbh.
DH knows how much I loathe smoking and exactly why I don't like it but worse than that, he knows how much I hate lying even more. We've always (or at least I thought so...) had a very open and honest marriage. I can say hand on heart I've never hidden anything from him and I thought he was the same. The smoking is a problem but it's not the main problem here, the biggest issue for me is that he's hidden it from me- that's why I feel so betrayed and let down. I feel stupid for not realising as well and a bit embarrassed that his colleagues all know something about him that I, his wife, didn't- like I was the last to find out sort of thing. I don't know! It's not a nice feeling though and now I'm concerned that if it was so easy for him to hide this from me what else could he have hidden over the years?
I confronted him about it and he said he started a few months ago because he was stressed at work and was using it as a coping mechanism . But that once this pouch is finished he'll quit and never have another. I don't believe him. My trust in him has lowered drastically...
Another thing is he's been really stroppy the past few months, very much on edge and gets angry at the most ridiculous things. I've been walking on eggshells around him, definitely not how I want to live. When I asked him what was up he always blamed work or the DC or even me! I now think it was withdrawal from the fags because he was unable to have them at home. It all makes sense now...
I'm struggling to just let it slide tbh. Like I say, the biggest problem isn't the smoking although I really do not like it, it's the fact he's lied to me and now I feel I can't trust him. So Aibu? Am I overreacting? Should I just let it go? I'll be grateful for a proverbial slap around the face right now to snap me out of it if that's what's necessary .
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
To feel betrayed by DH over this?
30 replies
Funkmouse · 24/11/2014 16:20
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.